How life is surprisingly arranged. You look at a person and see how beautiful it is. And a person, for example, a woman sees himself quite different. He considers himself ugly, thick, worse than all.
So my clients tell me about yourself. What only words do not call themselves, as soon as they do not scold, with which they just do not compare, and what they just do not blame! And convince them in the opposite - just useless. They believe in what they say. And faith, as can be seen, creates, not only miracles.
If there is a problem of excess weight, then, as a rule, there is a problem with the way the body - self-perception. Or rather, the rejection of oneself and its body is what it is. With all the ensuing consequences. Magazines, television and social networks are filled with photos, to which they call for strive: there will be such a body and it means there will be a happy life!
And full women want this happy life, that is, a slim, beautiful body at all costs, they want the attention of men, respect from loved ones. And that's what they do for this. Muffle and tested their body diet, tablets, simulators. The diet is sitting, as a rule, for the company, it is easier to carry deprivation and restrictions.
Then the whole enthusiasm comes down. But in the head there is a picture, which one must be in order to be. And now everything is not that, everything is wrong, not life, but a draft.
Only the body from all these "courtesies" for some reason does not become more painted. Because it is originally not loved. And with not beloved and the appeal is appropriate.
I explain all this epopeu in detail to its clients. Thus, gradually comes to understanding and awareness that the body needs love and acceptance in this form, in which it is now. It is not guilty of what it looks like. For many years it serves as faithful and truth, withstands all experiments and at the same time, it is working on the ground, allowing everything to do with it. And thereby, it deserves care, respect and love.
Working with the way the body, we gradually come to changes. But we do not change the body (it changes itself in the process), and its attitude towards him, his thinking, behavior. Only after accepting it in this form, what it is at the moment, ceases to require the body of magic transformations, you can get the desired result.
Feeling the love of your mistress, the body wants to answer reciprocity. It is possible that it will stop in the weight set and will check whether this is really love. And perhaps, immediately starts to let go of an extra kilo as unnecessary.
After all, when you love you as you are, I want to give your love in return, to show care, to work wonders, turn the mountains, etc. The body is living and everything feels. While you will beat him, blame, hay and tormented - there can be no speech about any harmony. It will resist and defend its borders.
My client still gets to love yourself and take. I do not know if you have it. One client, successful businesswoman, after many unsuccessful attempts to lose weight, appealed with the request, bring the body in order.
Weekly sessions took several months during which we removed many psychological anchors, and much was released as unnecessary. Special techniques of adoption, meditation and many other psychological instruments needed for an effective result.
Huge inner work gave new resources, and the client's life began to slowly change. At some point, she decided to stop and just live in already created changes. A few months later she wrote to me that her life had changed dramatically!
She was recorded immediately at 2 Sport Club, and in one of them won in the competition and became the Queen of the Hall! She has intensified relationships with men, a personal life has improved, and her business acquired new development prospects!
She is full of strength, energy, and most importantly, she lost weight imperceptibly for himself by 10 kg. But this is no longer an end to it, but a side effect of mutual love for himself and to his body.
This is a lot of work, with full emotional impact and involvement, meditations and technicians, awareness and insights. But what stunning results gives this work, how much joy and satisfaction is experienced by happy women. How their life changes right in front of her eyes! Still, faith creates wonders!
Even more about the body, food and weight, read on my pages in social networks.
Photo: https://www.instagram.com/daisyalisaa/ https://www.instagram.com/explorer.philippines/
There is always a girl whose impeccable figure will make sigh: "I will never have such a thing ..." We are forced to compare ourselves with a reference, without explaining why it is necessary. Is it possible to stop comprehensive about your appearance and finally accept your body? About a year ago, photos of two girls in swimsuits were posted in one of the popular Internet diaries: one of them wore the size of the XXL, the second - XXS. The owner of the blog asked a provocative question: "If only two of these girls remained on Earth, with what Roman would be?" Although men's opinions were divided approximately in half, there were quite commentators who wrote something evil like "you can drown in this fat" and I'm not going to catch on the bone. " And the point here is not in a pull to the perfect body - its standards are regularly changing: the fashion is included, then small breasts, then skinny girls, then girls are more accumbered, then a completely smooth body, then covered with hair in certain places. The other is important - as far as we are subject to imposed standards and allow them to submit their lives. "Public pressure has recently been expressed in advertising of various goods that allow you to lose weight, magazine covers on which very slender models appear, television shows, where complete women are served as something unusual, atypical, funny, comments on the psychologist-consultant Irina Sergeeva. - This pressure can provoke and the desire to be closer to the model dimensions (let the cost of their own health), and protest behavior, when a woman, realizing that the ideal would never reach, threw her body at all, ceases to care for him. He also does not benefit health and self-esteem. "
The attractive researchers spent a lot of time and money to find out what and in what basis we still like each other. Was, for example, such an experience was carried out: the group of men asked if they had money with them and how much, and then they showed them pictures of women of various sizes. Those who had little money were chosen the major, those who prudently nubble the wallet of bills were interested in miniature girls. The same thing happened in the case when part of the testes before the experience should be fed: the full men preferred slender, hungry - full. The conclusion here can be done like this: a man who feels "on horseback", which is currently not necessary to extract food and finance, is needed to take care of a small and thin woman - it seems to him that she is not able to get food. In the case of its own vulnerability, it will unconsciously choose a large girl who impresses strong and able to take care of both feeding, and about the offspring. Of course, there are complete women who cannot take care of anything about anything, and tiny ladies, from the inside the tank, but it turns out already with a close acquaintance. Evolutionary psychologists explain our preferences of genetic memory - ideas embedded in us even with primitive community. For example, women with blond hair and blue eyes have always been less and almost everywhere than dark, and from that time, gentlemen prefer blondes. Another fact explains why women with not pronounced waist rarely enjoy success: the male brain reads it as "she is pregnant, which means that it is busy" and does not show interest. And if the ratio of the waist amount to the thigh volume is 0.7, the woman will be attractive for the opposite sex regardless of weight. But other studies put the ideas of evolutionary psychologists in doubt. The experience when the subjects presented a photo with one brunette and five blondes and men called the brunette the most beautiful, confirmed: a person attracts not a specific hair color, namely, rarity. And the fact that among popular models has often been often found girls with a "pipe" type, that is, without a distinctly expressed waist, also says that the nature of the plant laid in us is not always triggered.
Everything changes
"In each culture there are ideas about which body is beautiful and attractive, and what is ugly and repulsive," says the analytical psychologist Vera Efremova. - The perfect body is just a myth who usually expresses someone's interests. " The criteria for assessing the body over time are changing, develop, some go to the past, and the perception of the perfect body is gradually transformed. "In society, where the bulk of the population is engaged in physical labor, a strong muscular figure speaks about belonging to a low social layer," continues Vera Efremov. - Warm body in this case - a sign of belonging to those groups that are free from the obligation to perform hard work. With the development of technical progress, the role of severe physical labor falls, and these rules of interpretation go to the past. " The standards, for example, a female body changed, can be judged by painting from mid-centuries to the nineteenth century, where we will noticeably admire the full, lining body, and in modern fashionable magazines, in which the fragility and thinness are idealized. The basis for the idealization of large bodies was related to food: the opportunity is satisfied and regularly eating spoke of high status. When hunger ceases to be the problem of the majority, the cultural norm is transformed. It becomes prestigious to be leaning and tightened, demonstrating this balanced nutrition of expensive and healthy food, spending money on sports activities and expensive procedures to maintain the figure. "The trained body is a modern symbol of success, self-discipline, the ability to organize their lives - adds Vera Efremov. - and on the contrary, excess weight becomes a symbol of certain damage, a sign of laziness, a weak nature and inorganization. " The condition of the skin, nails and hair is added to the state of the shape. They are important in the presentation of their body and show the desire of a person to spend strength, time and money to approach the ideal image created today predominantly advertising. Modern beauty standards can slightly change under the influence of any actors or characters. For example, millions of Broader girls are grateful to Cameron Diaz for its existence, and after the release of books and films about Harry Potter, Cockkarikov stopped tease and began to admire them. However, the creators of films and commercials are still inclined to indulge in public taste, and not to develop it: therefore, slender, muscular main characters will accompany us for a long time.
Children's impressions
From the earliest age, the child forms a presentation not only about his real body, but also on ideal - first from relationship with mom and loved ones, then from a wider social circle. "Mother of the baby, communicating with the child verbally and non-verbally, causing him and stroking, defines its borders and sends him some information about the body," says Vera Efremov. - Positive emotions can be broadcast - joy, admiration, but negative - fright, anxiety, discontent with the body. In the first case, this will cause a child of his own well-being, in the second - anxiety that the bodily can be upset and scared. In the future, such emotions may form the basis of their own body. " Approximately six years in the child is formed a clear image of his body. At the same time, social requirements for the physical aspects of the child's development are becoming more clear: whether it is selected in the sports section, a dance studio, to participate in various children's events, are physical disadvantages and diseases are revealed - all this affects his understanding of themselves. "I remember how in childhood, four years old, Mom took me to the gymnastic section," says Lisa (26). - I was forced to make several movements, and then the coach said with regret: "Flexible, but not stretched." Mom led me home with a disappointed face, and I first felt that something was wrong with me. " In the transitional age, we collect all the ideas about ourselves, and the image of a physical "I" becomes one of the most important. A teenager analyzes whether his group of peers takes (and on) whether his interest on the opposite sex is related to him, as is related to his bodily development and so on. "I was 13 years old when my photo was placed in the school wallpaper," Lina says (24). - a classmate came up and looking at the photo, said: "Well, you, a link, and a cow!" I didn't seem to be big for me - before these words, I didn't seem large myself, but from that moment I understood that I was very different from my classmates that I Other. Representing your body image, a teenager compares it with generally accepted standards of beauty, attractiveness, health, while evaluating others, compares himself with them - and draws conclusions about the compliance of his own body social standards.
While the case did not go far, you can begin with attention to a variety that the world offers you. To begin with, the books and art albums, see which bodies at what time are the artists and poets to ecstasy. Remember the girlfriends happy in marriage - perhaps their husbands and will not refuse to watch the television station from the Miss Universe contest, but they love their wives with imperfect figures. Follow changes in the model business: in Spain and Portugal, it was already forbidden to go to the podium to girls, characterized by painful wool. Agree to the fact that if you can't buy clothes in Russian shopping centers on your height and figure, it is exclusively wines of Russian shopping centers: in England, the same Spain and many other countries clothing manufacturers are much more attentive to their customers and allow them make friends with your body. Take and love yourself - a difficult lesson, there will always be someone who will try to prevent. But we are making efforts to look like a person's prettier person - why not try to like yourself? Start paying your body attention; Do not feed it with chips, but also not to syndize with biological additives, give a normal load. And most importantly, stop angry and be sad due to the fact that it does not look like the body of the leading some popular TV shows, which no one after a few years will not be remembered.
We train confidenceChoosing an exercise for morning charging, you can focus on those that increase not only the body tone, but also confidence in themselves, - at least, those who are engaged in yoga. These classes stimulate the chakra responsible for confidence and in addition bring your body an additional benefit.
1
To swing the press and try to breathe well - that is, not to make large pauses between inhale and exhale. At the same time you can get rid of fatty sediments on the sides and stomach.
2
Lying on the floor on the stomach, make the "swallow" deflection five times a day. Additional benefits for spine.
3
Write cold water from a basin or bucket once a day. Bodrit and increases skin tone.
4
Approximately twenty minutes a day to speak louder than usual. Gives voice to the voice.
5
Every day, twenty minutes to stand at the wall, straightening the back and holding some kind of heavy cargo on the head. This exercise did not yoga, but cadets and ballerinas. A man with an excellent posture simply cannot feel unattractive.
Zhanna Sergeeva
Every day, people see a huge number of unrealistic and potentially harmful images of perfect bodies. Because of this, it becomes difficult for a person to take, love his body and feel confident, but without this, healthy sample is impossible. You need to know what your body can do, and love these opportunities. The philosopher Baruch Spinoza argued that people "do not know the capabilities of the body", bearing in mind that a person does not realize that his body is capable of trying to try differently. Psychologists also believe that a person is not aware of all opportunities. To love your body, it is important to learn all aspects of your body.
Think that gives you pleasure. Make a list of pleasant moments for you. Describe everything in detail: with whom you are what you do, where you are. Think that these moments have in common. People? Mood? Or just an atmosphere (for example, nature or city)? When you understand what factors allowed your body to get a maximum pleasure in the past, try as often as possible in these situations in the future.
Think about what you can do. Since all the bodies are unique, it is better to all people, and something worse. If you are a low person, it will be more difficult for you to play basketball, but a good rider can get out of you. To accept your body, it is important to understand that with some tasks you cope better. Perhaps it will take some time that you realize exactly what tasks you are suitable.
Think what you like in your figure and appearance. Even those who do not like their body can find something in themselves what they like. It is important to learn how to appreciate all your good qualities, including physical. Do not cling to the qualities that you do not like. Think about the qualities that you like in yourself.
Take your body as it is. Do not attempt to change yourself and do not think about the qualities that you do not like. Learn to love your body - how you move, what you feel like moving in space. Forget about how your body looked earlier, especially if it has changed after pregnancy, childbirth, injuries or diseases. Appreciate your body as it is now.
Think how much time you dedicate negative thoughts about your body. Negative thoughts will not help you love yourself. Try the day or two to reflect on how often you think about your appearance. How often do negative thoughts visit your body? Most likely, you more often criticize what praise yourself.
Replace negative thoughts positive. At the beginning it may be difficult, but it is necessary to do this. As soon as you realize that you have visited a negative thought, replace it with positive. Try to teach yourself all the time to think positively.
Avoid negative images in the media. Refuse the TV shows, movies, magazines and blogs, which present unrealistic or negative images associated with the body. Remind yourself that most photos that are placed in magazines and the Internet have been processed so that the model corresponds to artificial standards of beauty and sexuality.
Find a psychotherapist that uses the method of cognitive behavioral therapy. Takes of cognitive behavioral therapy make it possible to focus on the present and on the planning of the nearest future. It is best to work with this method along with a psychotherapist, but this can be done on your own. If you have a negative thought, stop, take a deep breath and try to find confirmation of this thought. Has anyone told you that it is in this part of the body you have imperfections? If yes, did the person say it from evil or did he try to joke?
Do not allow negative people to influence you. It is important not only to strive to be kindly to yourself and resemble yourself about your strengths, but also to refuse to communicate with negative people. Do you criticize friends and relatives? They tell you that you need to lose weight, change the hairstyle, start dressing differently? If so, you should deal with this influence.
Communicate with different people. Trying new classes, start talking to people with whom you usually do not communicate or whom will keep away. To speak with unfamiliar people will immediately be scared, but gradually it will become easier for you. Even if you find it difficult to start remembering that isolation is even worse. Scientists have established that insulation is also dangerous to health as obesity. Communicate with new people, especially if people with whom you support communication now, do not approve your appearance or destructive influence on you.
Pay attention to the compliments that people make you. Try to focus your attention not at criticism, but on compliments. Remember that it is in you people praise. Record these praises to reread them when you are bad.
Remind yourself about what you like in yourself. Every time you have a negative idea of \u200b\u200byour body, remind yourself that you like in your body. Make a list of at least ten qualities that will not be associated with appearance. Replenish the list regularly.
Change your attitude towards mirrors. If you often look in the mirror, promise yourself not to think and not say anything negative about yourself. Use the mirror to remind yourself pleasant. If you are difficult to look at yourself in the mirror, do not hurry. Scientists found out that people who rarely look in the mirror are most often focused on their work or relationship, and not on appearance.
Take care of your health and overall well-being. Perhaps you will need to change something in yourself to learn to take yourself. For example, if you have an excess you, you may have to lose weight. But remember that the digit on the scales is just one of the indicators of your health. We regularly go to the doctor to see the doctor to monitor all the indicators (weight, pressure, blood sugar level, cholesterol level, and so on). It will give you a complete picture, and you will be easier to discuss your goals with your doctor.
Put positive goals. Think not about the negative associated with the goal, but about the positive. For example, if you decide to do sports, do not put the target to reset a certain number of kilograms. The goal should be positive, for example: "I am engaged in sports to be able to run 3 kilometers without stopping", - or: "I want to walk more on foot to go hiking in the mountains with my father."
Exercise, which gives you pleasure. Choose exercises that seem interesting to you and fascinating. Do not choose exercises only on the basis of the benefit that they can give you. Try new classes and leave only those you like. For example, if you like yoga, do yoga, even if it seems to you that you have a lot of excess weight for this occupation. Almost all fitness programs can be adapted to a person of any weight and any degree of preparation.
Think your style. Do not cost buy clothes, make makeup and choose haircuts only on the basis of what is considered to be suitable people of your physique, or what is recommended in fashion magazines. Wear what you want, what you like and what you are comfortable. Choose clothes that reflects your individuality in which you are comfortable and which suits your lifestyle.
Compare yourself only with you. The world would be boring if everyone looked equally. It makes no sense to compare ourselves with others - neither celebrities or with their familiar. It is better to compare yourself with you in the past, and for this you need to have goals. For example, compare what you look now, with how you looked a couple of years ago.
Remember that the body is only part of self-esteem. It is important to learn how to love and appreciate your body, but you need to remember that your value as a person is not determined only by appearance.
Know when you should seek help. Remember that everything is difficult to reconcile with your body, and this is normal. But you should also think about consulting a doctor or psychotherapist. There are signs of problems with the perception of your bodies that require access to a specialist. Ask yourself the following questions:
Find a suitable specialist. There are several options for help. It is possible to sign up for a psychotherapist on individual sessions. You can participate in group therapy or to enter the support group, where the structure will be less rigid. You can also find a group of support on the Internet and communicate with people who are familiar with the perception of their body.
Each person craves love and recognition, but, no matter how paradoxically, we will often refuse themselves to meet these needs. Looking around, we notice more beautiful, bright, successful people, compare ourselves with them and painfully suffer from the complex of inferiority. Further more: we believe that they are unworthy of what they strive for, we give up, we refuse goals. Let's figure out how to love your body, take yourself and achieve the state of inner harmony.
Women more often than men negatively belong to their body. Often, luxurious beauties find flaws, they are tormented by complexes and struggle to "merge with the landscape", not to attract unnecessary attention. Another extreme is plastic operations until the face and body become perfect. But the problem is that the ideals themselves are constantly changing.
There were times when full or pathologically thin women were considered beautiful. In some periods of history, bald foreheads were valued, and in the other - black teeth. Fashion for appearance changes. Even recently, young girls with great breasts and chubby sponges were conquered on the covers of glossy magazines, and now their place was taken by mature women with tightened figures.
Race behind the reference appearance is obviously losing. Nothing but complexes, neurosis and depression, it is not able to give. The greatest disappointment comprehends those who are in pursuit of beauty to achieve the goal and really reprove themselves strictly along the canons. The ideal appearance changes little: the expected immeasurable happiness is not collapsed on his head, but new complexes appear.
The reason for dissatisfaction inside, and not outside. At some point, negative perception of itself is formed. Parents, but girlfriends, sexual partners, annoying advertising and glossy magazines, too, cannot be discounted in the greatest impact on our attitude towards their own appearance.
Do not go too deep into the reasons for a negative attitude towards yourself. It is not so important when and because of what you "quarreled" with your body, began to perceive it as "wrong". It is necessary to solve the problem and accept yourself with all the shortcomings.
First, realize that beauty standards that are promoted from each iron is false. The pursuit of them is able to deprive you forces, time, money and self-esteem residues. "Calculate" the next fashion, you will be disappointed. It's time to go to another way: to forgive and accept yourself. Psychologists have proven ways to love their body, despite the disadvantages:
Stop comparing yourself. Models, movie stars and bright girlfriends can not be ideal for you. You are another person. Your body is unique. Try to do everything to make you comfortably in it.
Stay alone with yourself and admit your feelings. Stand in full growth in front of the mirror, carefully consider yourself and speak out loud about what you see. Describe your advantages and disadvantages, for example: "I have big beautiful eyes, but the lips seem narrow and unattractive." Be honest with you.
Forgive the body and ask him for forgiveness. Talk to your body mentally or aloud and ask for forgiveness for disrespecting, disgusting to some parts. In turn, forgive the body for his imperfection. Thank you for serving you faithfully for many years.
Write your body a letter. Tell us what feelings are experiencing, ask for forgiveness and thank for a good service. Promise that you will continue to appreciate and respect the body regardless of the disadvantages of appearance. This technique will help to realize and block negative installations.
Learn to perceive flaws with humor. As soon as you have negative thoughts about yourself, translate them into a joke. Take advantage of disadvantages with that benevolent indulgence, which is shown in relation to the playful kitten or child, allowing bubbles.
Formulate positive. If you have previously admitted (even mentally!) Rough phrases regarding yourself, change them to positive. Remember: Your thighs are not thick, but lush; Buttocks are not large, but appetizing; Breast is not flat, but neat.
Show respect for your body. Start carefully choose food, which give him, clothes, shoes. To maintain the body in good shape, find a comfortable type of physical activity. Exercises thoughtfully, with awareness of benefit, enjoy movements.
Do not discuss your shortcomings. How to love your body if you participate in the "friendly" mutual complaints? Agree with friendly people that you will not discuss your own and other disadvantages of appearance. Tell me that it is unpleasant to you.
Take compliments with dignity. Your body is unique, it deserves praise from you and other people, so do not benefit from admiring words.
Stop "Beauty Tests". Are you still weighed, measured and looking for positive changes in your mirror? Take yourself and do not wait for change. They will come in their time, and you just enjoy life.
Perhaps it seems to you that problems at work, in communication or personal life somehow are associated with the disadvantages of your body. This is not true. I wise your body, gaining inner harmony, you suddenly discover that you like yourself and other people.
