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» What is real love. True love between a man and a woman: manifestations and psychology What does turbulent relationships in love mean

What is real love. True love between a man and a woman: manifestations and psychology What does turbulent relationships in love mean

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Love is the most amazing and incomprehensible feeling. It is difficult for logic to understand, you just need to take a heart. We are all waiting for love, one and forever. The only one, about which books write, paintings draw and films take off. And then for some reason we begin to look for flaws, arrange hysterics and doubt: "Does this love?" That, you just need to be patient, strong and clearly realize that love has stages of development.

"Love at first sight" should still grow into love.

While there is only a look, interest, outbreak, "butterflies in the stomach" and goosebumps by body. But it is not yet love, it is sympathy, passion and desire to possess.

True love is necessary to build, develop, guard and build. It just gives only a passion that just disappears in a few months.

People are complex, and every individual. Meeting, the guy and the girl, first of all wish to have a friend, and then apply every effort to adjust the partner. After all, each of them is sure that you need to reckon with him, listen to him and live as he lives. And the second person is completely different. Therefore, he also sweeps the partner. A little time, and now two lovers become conflict, which are thinking to disperse. He was not the one, but she is absolutely not the one. Why? Because both decided to throw the idea to build love and start everything from scratch.

Strong relationships are not a constant and frozen axiom, this is the sea with a different mood.

People change under the influence of changing relationships.

They are in the psychological and spiritual world. Love likes to check, and the soul requires hardening. It does not "exhaust, worship," as we taught us in childhood. Never exhaust if it all started without "butterflies in the stomach."

Love never passes, if this is true love. But the flower-bakery period is yes. Rather, the stage that bears such a name.

Eternal honeymoon is only in books. But even the book has an end. But this does not mean that romance and passion will disappear.

Many couples scatter, because they are thinking that their quarrels and conflicts are something abnormal that they lose love and mutual understanding. In reality, their relationship "grows", and they stand before the stage of mutual and eternal love.

You need to learn how to take every step of love with gratitude and move forward to create a strong family.

What are these steps (stages)? How do you need to behave, what to do to get to the "eternal" love through many crises?

Three states allocate globally:

  1. Honeymoon;
  2. trigger;
  3. love.

In fact, the steps are much more. We will focus on seven. Just do not forget that all people are unique, therefore, relationships are developing in their unique scenarios. But, nevertheless, the general stages can be allocated. Some pairs can some steps "slip", on others "stuck", and to the third "not to live."

Candy bakery

"Honeymoon" can last one month, and maybe a couple of years. This is the most fabulous and magical period.

People meet and fly to another planet. Estimated from around the world and enjoy intimacy. Nobody needs them, they are all distracting and annoying. All, except for each other.

They are little touch, kisses, hugs. They crave to possess each other constantly, all 24 hours a day. They can not silence each other. A man and a woman enjoy so much that everyone seems to them perfection: voice, eyes, laughter, hands, shoulders. They are similar to the deities for each other. They have no shortcomings, everything is fine. She is gentle, and he is strong. He gives her flowers, and she makes himself kisses him in the temple. Compliments pour the river, and sex more needs bread and water.

As you understand, this is the first stage, it means that it is still sailing to real love and swim in the sea of \u200b\u200bfeelings on which the calm can be, and maybe a storm. It is stupid to think that the first stage euphoria will last all life. And on the other hand, it is not necessary.

The first stage is good to everyone, except that there are no true love, but there is a desire to possess.

Your half is not a thing. You can enjoy a new machine and a new dress. And you need to love your half, be able to give yourself and put the interests of the partner above their own.

At the first stage, you should not immediately run into the registry office or give birth to children. Wait, live the following steps, and then make your choice.

Orange

If you love strawberries very much, I hung up 10 kg per day, just earn allergies and urokom. Mind bad, but can you stay at the first stage? Want to break a little from a partner? Want to escape to friends and stay without halves a little? This is normal. You just approached the next stage.

Relax a bit and again want to "strawberries." At this stage, you need to move a little from the source of love. On a little bit, just to physically spend the time with him less.

Remember that you have not called to my parents for a long time, "scored" at home affairs, and at work I already look at the chef. The main thing is not to think that love passes. She is stronger. At this stage, you can have half to devote to your affairs, open the soul and often close the body.

This is a mandatory, necessary and inevitable step before reaching the apogee of love. Often people differ in the third stage of "rejection" and say that "life ate love." Yes, it will not be, and you yourself.

This stage is filled with a total misunderstanding of each other. Suddenly it turns out that the partner begins to do everything wrong, saying not to act otherwise than before.

A man and woman "breaking off the chain" begin to see only the shortcomings of each other and concentrate on them. The easiest way is to disperse. So they do the weak, those who want to make all their lives with a bouquet-candy period. The period of "candies" will last, only the figures will change. And as a result, what? Nearby there will be someone thirsty of the body and surface relations, and in the soul there will be emptiness and a sense of loneliness.

In the Vedas, the three first stages relate to the lowest link. People who have love relationships end with the third stage finals relate to limited and primitive. These people do not meet real love and they spend their life on the chase for affordable prey.

Primitive people are repelled from this stage and go to new ties with the same set of emotions, and with the same level of development.

Of course, it's easier for a man to say the next "love" set of standard compliments, and a woman to seduce a man with a disruption and standard shooting through her eyes. It is like to learn several tricks and show them to a different public for loud applause. Want to be "chapito" on the wheels and give concerts on the villages? Leave at this stage.

Patience

Survived the third stage gives the passage. Quarrels and conflicts occur, but they are not so stormy and frequent.

Partners understand that there is no point in scandaling, because they will still be together. They begin to manifest tenderness, care, more than thirst to prove their right.

If both partners will apply all efforts to build their "Temple of Love", then patience and understanding will come as if by itself, and the wisdom will come.

Trust and respect

This stage can be called the beginning of love. Yes, yes, true love before the fifth stage was not yet.

Partners who acquired wisdom, who survived typhoon scandals truly respect and appreciate each other.

We can say that they have already experienced so much that they can go hand together. Trust each other entirely, take care, maintain, be loyal and truly love.

How often after a few months of relationship partner declares that he madly loves the second half and ready to spend all your life?

Is it possible to call the relationship last for several months, real love?

Psychologists say that the true feeling of love comes only through years of life and on the way to it couple passes through several stages. What stages of love in relationships exist?

Is it true that there are seven stages of the present feeling?

According to the statements of psychologists, each couple passes several stages of relations on the way to a truly and deep love feeling.

Each stage can occupy a different time segment, it depends on the depth of attachment to each other, from the similarity of the character, temperaments and some other features of the relationship.

Psychologists have developed a template consisting of seven stages that almost every married couple passes. Of course, this template cannot be adjusted without eliminating the relationship, every partners everything proceeds individually.

The relationship of some couples is characterized by cyclicity: after passing the three initial steps, the steam may return to the first stage, heaping to each other with new feelings and reviving the new twine of love.

On the stages of the development of love in psychology in this video:

Stages and their characteristics

Highlight 7 steps that overcome couples in love on the way to the real sense of love. Each stage characterized by its features.

Love

And the candidate bakery period. The duration of the first stage of love usually about a year or a half years.

At this time, the partners do not notice the shortcomings, they are blinded by a strong sense of love, everything seems wonderful and beautiful in the nature of his beloved person.

Beloved appears in the unreal light when no attention is paid to negative character traits.

Scientists who studied the first period of relationships gave him the name "Chemistry of Love". At this time, hormones, oxytocin and endorphine are actively produced, fully captured by the consciousness of lovers.

Activally produced substances suppress attempts by rational thinking and block the appearance of negative emotions. Man fully seizes loving Euphoria.

Partners try to spend every free time together, communicate a lot, are called, often confess love. Their lexicon is half consisted of gentle and gentle words addressed to his beloved person.

Most often, this stage ends with marriage registration, since people "fly on the wings of love" and want to prevent their relationship as soon as possible to designate their status.

What stages are the in love with a lover? About this in video:

Satiation

After the marriage and the start of living together, the stage of suggestion is usually comes. Primary strong love begins to subscribeThe hormones are no longer raging, and the brain work is resumed in normal mode.

Each partners begins to pay more attention to other areas of their life, wants to communicate with friends, to work tightly.

In this period first conflicts begin.

Often they are related to the fact that one of the lovers has already moved to a new stage of love, while the second partner still remained at the stage of love.

He wants to spend a lot of time with his beloved and begins to be offended, without meeting any more similar impulses from his side. Maintaining joint life turns love in something ordinary and familiar, Favorite man is always there, therefore suggestion arises.

It is on this period that the disadvantages of each other are beginning to open partners. This happens not because before that, the negative traits of nature were carefully hidden, and due to the resumption of normal brain performance, not burdened by the release of hormones and endorphin.

Most often, the period of suggestion takes a very short period of time and is invisible to spouses themselves. Sometimes it can change places with the first stage of love, especially if during this period newborns appear in the new family.

Disgust

In the third stage begins present complex test for relationshipsBecause the period of disgust enters into their rights.

"Pink" perception of a partner is replaced real estimation of his character.

It turns out that a lover has many drawbacks that begin to bring in irritation and rabies.

Cute features no longer seem like funny and interesting, they start out of themselves. During this period, dignity goes into the background and become practically imperceptible.

Spouses must undergo a stage of disgust in order to achieve the state of real love. Without this stage, the onset of true feeling is impossible.

The duration of the period of disgust for each family is individual, the lucky people experience unpleasant feelings to each other for only a few months, and some he delayed for whole years, sometimes replacing the above-mentioned steps of relationships.

The period of disgust is the richest to quarrel, scandals and conflicts. Each partner shows itself from the most unsightly side, expressing a large number of complaints And pointing to the weighty flaws of the beloved.

With the onset of each new day, it seems that the person with whom to share life is not the one who needs. It is at this stage that many understand that they no longer want to go in their way hand in hand, followed by this awareness divorce.

Many couples go in a circle, constantly passing three stages and not moving on. For this reason, former spouses often turn out to be togetherand even get married again, as they entail together.

How to overcome the stage of disgust in the relationship? Useful recommendations:

Humility

If the pair managed to overcome the universal disgust, it comes a more pleasant period - humility.

People living together understand that remake another person impossiblethat he is a person with his set of advantages and disadvantages. They try to accept each other.

The partner apartment is now similar not to the battlefield, where fierce battles occur every day, and on the negotiation room, where conscious dialogues are most often heard and the word "compromise" is regularly heard.

It is at this stage that the spouses begin to go to a psychologist, read smart books, trying to understand each other.Each partner understands that in order to create a harmonious union, first of all, he must work on himself, and only then ask for compromise changes from the beloved.

People begin to change so that the joint existence becomes more comfortable. It is believed that humility and the manifestation of patience it is primarily for womenHow wiser and flexible from nature.

Most often, the spouse pushes a man to the stage of humility, on his example showing how to adapt to each other.

Respect

Behind the stage of humility comes Respect, disinterested ministry partner.

If earlier lovers did something pleasant for each other, waiting for the same relationship in response, now good actions become disinterested.

People seek to delight pleasure only because the second half enjoys respect, because she is the road.

At this stage of movement to the present love, the soul itself rushes to make a pleasant partner. People truly value each other and are imbued with respect.

Spouse serve each other completely voluntary, getting great pleasure from the fact that the second half is happy. Sometimes one of the partners is already moving to the stage of respect, and the second is delayed at the previous stage.

Disinterested actions spouse, crossed the new face, pushes the beloved to the transition to the stage of respect.

The first sign of the emerging true love is the desire of sincere and disinterested ministry to a partner.

friendship

Friendship replaces the stage of respect. Usually, the couple has experienced many vital difficulties that were solved by shoulder to shoulder.

Partners know each other from hair roots to fingertips, they know the character of each other, habits and temperament.

From conflict situations, they go out without any noisy disassembly, they just have enough talk and everything will decide peacefully.

This stage can continue for years and decades when spouses observe mental comfort in a joint society.

Most often comes when the children grow up and spouses have more time to joint classes and entertainment.

They finally can dedicate each other much more time than before, when young children needed every minute.

Love

Few gets to the most recent vertex stage, which is called love. Many break at the stage of disgust and cannot achieve a true feeling. On the step of love couple understands each other with half, Partners breathe and live in unison.

A joint society gives them pleasure and brings peace. Spouses take each other completely, with all the advantages and disadvantages.

No longer sagate hormones, do not annoy the shortcomings, they smoothed and outweigh the advantagesthat manifest everything brighter.

If people reached this stage, overcoming all the difficulties, overlooking the stage of disgust, they can strangle with all courage, which truly love each other.

How does love live? Brilliant psychological cartoon:

Eyes of psychologists

Initial Fast Love Actually still far from true love. In our society, the concepts of "love" and "love" are often confused.

Not all couples are getting to true love, someone lacks patience and strength to overcome all obstacles appearing on the way. Many are stuck at the stages of disgust, can no longer reach humility and calm passion.

Such couples most often disintegrated. This may happen forever, but in some cases the partners converge again, returning the first stage of love.

They again begin to undergo all stages, again reaching a disgust, which leads to a new parting, or it is successfully overcome the second time.

Preservation of relationships at a decent level very hard workwhich is not available to everyone.

On the way to this love, there are a large number of barriers that need to be overcome to gain peace and peace in the family.

All happy couples once passed the steps of suggestion and disgust to "Grow" from the seed of great loveto each other.

Is it true that love lives 3 years? Find out of the video:

Is the man loves his eyes, and a woman soul?

What are the differences of female love from male?

How to distinguish love from love?

What does love phenomenon mean for a man and for a woman?

What place in life is love for representatives of different sexes?

Nature of the marriage strategy of the biological species of people

Based on marriage strategy Men and women laid the most important and strong instinct - the continuation of the human race.

The need to preserve the type moves by people through emotions. At the same time, people often do not realize the true motivation of their actions.

Primitive instinct, exciting in a woman the desire to decorate herself, does not say why she should do it - she just likes it. Logic suggests that women do it to attract male attention. Interestingly, the representatives of the beautiful sex decorate themselves became even what they wear clothes.

So that she could choose, she needs to conquer the maximum number of men. Moreover, for a wider choice of them should be as much as possible. Ideal if she forbid to fall in love with all the men's environment. But it will be one to belong to the best. It turns out that the meaning of the female primitive marriage strategy is to have the most greater number of fans.

By the way, in nature there is no such shadow phenomenon as rape. The female of any kind may refuse, without having no consequences for itself.

From the position of survival for a man, the main thing is to increase its genetic heritage. He must look for so much partner as possible. He does not have any obstacles - he can make children all his life.

A woman should establish a family to grow children. The survival rate of the offspring is provided by a full-fledged family, where there is a mother and father - the breadwinner and the defender. Love is an instinctive binding of nature, encouraging a non-permanent man to take care of the offspring.

Nowadays, there is no sharp need for the reproduction and preservation of the human type. But "Memory" remained, thanks to which a woman should carry out its childhood function. Without this, she cannot feel absolutely happy. Men do not necessarily want to marry and raise offspring.

So, the woman has an instinctive installation on the "family", and the man is looking for "his place in life." Love, as one of the strongest instinctive feelings, is important for a woman emotionally and to fulfill their female destiny.

Power of female love

If a woman decided on the choice and found her man, she will follow him and in the fire, and into the water. She is ready to encourage him when he needs support, will be on his side, even when not quite confident in his rightness, he will not listen, even when his words are not worthy of attention.

Without taking into account his actions and opinions of friends, inspiring that he is a weak and lisher, despite his statements to complete the relationship right now, she will live for him. And it will not cease to fight for his heart. Contrary to his statement about the insolvency of her desire to wear his only one.

Women's love will overcome any temporary obstacles and life obstacles.

But a woman should not think that in response a man will love her the same.

Because male love is different and not like female.

A man loves a woman in his own way. He will not call her after half an hour to say that at 5.30 he loves her stronger than at 5.00. He will not sit with a woman, stroking her head when she is sick. It is absolutely unrealistic to count on such a sacrificial love of men.

However, men's love is also love. Although different from love given and desirable women.

What are the manifestations of men's love?

Men love other than women. A loving man will be ready to perform three things that serve as a manifestation of his love: to inform about their love, contain and guard.

The manifestation of real male love is his willingness to inform everyone: "This is my woman". A woman will be assigned the official status of the rank higher than just the title of "My Girlfriend". This status indicates that he placed a woman in his heart.

This opportunity to inform the surrounding that he is proud of right to be close to the woman that he has serious plans for her. This is an application for long-term heart relations. This conditional code telling other men "no one".

If you meet for more than three months and are not familiar with even his friends, but, acquaintance, he represents you, his girlfriend, then, while you do not have a place in his plans for the future.

Male vocation ensure

Millennies a man convinced his primary destination - to provide their family. Under any circumstances, your favorite people should not need. Become a minider - in this sense of the male vocation.

Sometimes he had to just meet a woman who will open his best qualities: a real woman knows how to convince a man to be a getter.

Man - Your Defender

If a man loves, everyone who just thinks to insult or offend his woman, risks being destroyed. A man will meet everything in his path to make sure that everyone who cost you is irrevocably paid for it. Such is his nature.

Three key needs men

Family support

Men should feel that they are supported, as if they are kings, even if it is not quite so.

A man is constantly in a state of combat readiness, watching and evaluating other men nearby. At any time, he is ready to protect you and all its achievements. Therefore, it is important for him to relax. He needs to hear: "Cute, thank you. We love you and need you, we are happy that you have. "

They are important to feel the kings, even when they behave not in a royal. Believe me, the more you let them feel special, the more they will be able to give you.

Female loyalty

Devotion is a male understanding of female love. Devotion and love - for a man it is synonyms. The love that a woman requires is beautiful, but men's love is different from female. She is different. Love men - a surprisingly strong thing. If female devotion is true, a man really finishes without hesitation of anyone for you.

Sex for him like air

There is nothing more in the world, which would also like to men constantly and strongly, without which they simply cannot live. The man has a physical need to be associated with his beloved woman. And he implements this connection, dealing with her love.

Sensual emotions, hugs, spiritual conversations - Men do it because it is important for women. It should be understood that the man connects sex with a woman. It is connected, recharging and re-contact.

For most men, the need for sex is the same as in the air. Even if a man loves you very much, but at the same time you dose sex, he will have to find him elsewhere. Men understand that different circumstances are possible. Only you can not invent excuses to infinity. No matter how much you loved you, no matter how appreciated the status of the head of the family and the owner of the house, as soon as you try to dispense sex, problems will necessarily arise.

Support. Devotion. Sex. You must provide these key men's needs. And in return, you will get a man who can roll the mountains for you and make everything you wish.

Love and relationships are different things. There are couples with fiery and bright love - and with difficult, sick, unworn relationships. There are couples with beautifully built and mutual relationships, where love, in principle, no. Satisfaction, convenience, pleasant - there is a hard thing to speak about love.

Love is one, the established relationship is another. There may be wonderful, established relationships, but no love. There may be a passionate love, but none (not built, not suitable, not established, but even difficult) relationships.

People rarely distinguish: they have love or established relationships, from here a lot of misunderstandings. For example, he and she love each other, but she does not know how to behave and constantly climbs into his case. For some time he suffers, then begins to make a claim. It may seem to them that it is somehow connected with the cooling of their love: no, this is not a question for love, but about the established relationship.

Or: it is satisfied with the established relationship with her, and it does not suit it that no longer love ... She demands love (see Love languages), and he does not understand: "Do we have everything well? What else do you want?" She frustrating the relationship, after which he begins to think "and I need it?"

People love to dream of love, but, as a rule, they are seriously thinking about love - prematurely. First of all, it is necessary to think about relationships, if only because love people usually manage cannot be managed, but to build relationships - more often bye.

I will give a metaphor: very cool when the house is clean, beautiful, rushes on the windows, the paintings are awesome, the music sounds - very cool. Only if suddenly the house is not yet completed, the floors fail, the sewage is missing and the roof flows ... time to engage in rushes, music and flowers? Probably not. First you need to strengthen the foundation. In many pairs, the relationship is similar to such a house: or unfinished, whether destroyed. It happens when people behind themselves do not follow the years, the relationship has already spoiled, then after that say "add love" - \u200b\u200bwhat is love?! You make a major overhaul, before talking about love!

Most steam should be started with the strengthening of the foundation, and then the curtains and the tablecloth.
Initially, to establish relationships, and love to create - nevertheless later.

Hard relationships put love to threaten. If he and she love each other, but communicate and behave conflict, do not know how to negotiate - they create difficult relationships and put love to jeopardize. On the other hand, established relationships contribute to the birth of love. If he and she create relationships that are satisfied in all respects (light, comfortable, having a perspective), then on this basis friendship is easily flourished. If this is alive and sexual attraction, love flames easily. Good relationship, care for each other - the basis of love.

But only - the basis. Whether love will arise on this basis - the question is different. Indeed, there are relatives' relationship, everything is fine, everything is fine, and beauty is missing, but there is no joy. Do not be sad, it remains a little left. If you have strong and kind relationships, you created a foundation on which you can build a love house. Love will be, love will surely come if you have a soul of health, and you create good relationships and with desire, learned to create with joy and desire. Take care of him, and from this - you have a joy in your heart. Indeed, and you do not joy when you can surprise, help, warm your beloved?

Video from Yana Happiness: Interview with Professor Psychology N.I. Kozlov

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