Man and the virtual world
Most of the stronger sex when answering the question: "Why does a man need a virtual flirt?" answer that they lack real communication. Most of these men would never agree to non-obligatory friendly sex in real life, taking a virtual romance for granted. By the way, such a flirtation can be easily started by both a single and a married man. This is primarily due to the fact that men do not consider this form of flirting as treason, because you can simply turn on the computer and plunge into the virtual world, forgetting about all the hardships and troubles. But despite such statements of men, psychologists are very concerned about this circumstance. According to them, virtual flirting can absolutely replace the representatives of the stronger sex not only live communication, but also the joy of carnal love. So, according to statistics that was carried out in the countries of Western Europe, a curious pattern emerged that 26% of men in the age category under 30 prefer virtual communication with flirting elements instead of real flirting and communication with a girl (including sexual contact) and even virtual sex. And the situation in the United States looks even more deplorable: according to the same statistics, 65% of men prefer cyberflirt instead of real.
What does virtual flirting give to men?
More often than not, men expect that virtual flirting will simply bring them new, funny sensations and impressions. For many men, such flirting is beneficial in that it, in its essence, does not oblige to anything, and even more so it does not require the obligatory continuation and development of relations. A man saves himself from routine and boredom, trying himself in a new role of "seducer from the monitor screen."
By the way, according to all the same psychologists, virtual flirting is flirting with oneself. A man, not knowing "in real life" his partner, puts his fantasies and expectations into her, which, in his opinion, a real woman should be endowed with. By the way, it is precisely this image that a woman lacks in real life, hence the conclusion that representatives of the stronger sex always idealize their virtual “object of seduction”. A man, as a rule, tries to delay such a flirtation as long as possible, showing himself in all his glory and the image of a real seducer. A man always selects his interlocutor according to his interests, the right age, appearance, etc. With such a lady, he proves to himself that he can achieve the goal and even if his plan fails, the man still does not stop there, because he wants to prove to himself that any girl can be interested in him. Here's another takeaway - interest and curiosity.
And lastly, it is much easier for a man to communicate with a woman whom he does not know "in real life", with such a woman he can not only flirt, but also discuss painful topics and even share problems. It is difficult for a man to tell that something is tormenting him, looking into the eyes of a woman he knows, but communication via the Internet is completely different. So sometimes an ordinary flirting can be the founder of the fact that a man wants to win over a woman in order to simply pour out his soul to her. But we still do not advise you to hope for the continuation of such a novel.
How to behave when communicating on the Internet so as not to be disappointed. Why is the Internet good? There are communities here for all tastes. Whatever your hobbies, there is always someone on social media to discuss your issues with. And often a friendly conversation between a man and a woman develops into something more, and some are specifically looking for a partner through social networks.
How to behave when communicating on the Internet so as not to be disappointed.
Why is the Internet good? There are communities here for all tastes. Whatever your hobbies, there is always someone on social media to discuss your issues with. And often a friendly conversation between a man and a woman develops into something more, and some are specifically looking for a partner through social networks.
A man wants, but not on a date
Only the lazy one did not write about the swindlers scouring the Internet in search of gullible girls hungry for love. But the real is not immune from such a nuisance, and in general common sense in relations with people is a useful thing. Therefore, today we will talk about subjects who are ready to correspond on the network day and night, but evade from meeting "live" under any pretext.
Very often such a man is quite sincere - he honestly indicates his age, profession, posts a photo, has no family and permanent relationships, even agrees to a date, but either does not come at all, or at the last moment cancels the meeting. What is the reason for such indecision?
Lazy superman
The fact is that in the virtual world a man is Superman! He knows all the rules of the game for sure, is confident in himself and is ready to “chat” for hours. At the same time, many sincerely believe their fantasies poured into the network, experience excitement, real buzz, plunge into a state of altered consciousness, and it is addictive, like a drug, you want it again and again.
A man is relaxed and open in virtual communication also because he knows for sure that at any time the relationship can be terminated without any consequences. But the real thing is scary - this will have to work, strain, all kinds of problems may arise that cannot be erased by pressing the "delete" key.
At the same time, many are sure that the woman “on the other side of the monitor” experiences similar emotions and, therefore, do not see any reason to spoil the pleasure both for herself and for her. Therefore, before persistently suggesting a date "live", think what is more important for you in the established communication - beautiful words or the personality of the interlocutor?
And also remember a few rules:
1. If a man "sticks" on the Internet day and night, when does he work? No, of course, there are professions that allow you to "hang out" on the net, but it is better to get this information before making a date in real life, otherwise there is a risk of putting a gigolo on your neck.
2. A man who clearly prefers virtual relationships to real ones most likely has psychological deviations. If you are not a psychologist preparing a dissertation on the topic of Internet addiction, why do you need other people's problems? It is definitely not your task in life to treat unfamiliar subjects.
3. If communication becomes more and more intimate, it makes sense to offer to meet before the interlocutor, in a fit of passion, promises something that he will then be frightened of. Phrases: “I prefer to communicate live”, “I would be glad to meet you personally. My Friday nights are usually free ”are quite neutral and will allow you to translate the conversation into a more productive channel.
4. Try to limit conversations about sex. Say that you prefer to make love, and discuss how it still happens - unless directly in the process, so that you can try it right away.
5. If the meeting is postponed - do not throw a tantrum. Remember that Wirth is not a relationship, so there is no point in trying to figure it out.
6. Do not be upset - if a man came out of a state of euphoria and was scared of the reality that was preparing to fall on him, there is nothing you can do about it. This is not your fault, and not even his, since he is on the Internet and in reality he is two different people who are not responsible for each other.
7. Before the meeting, indicate (and for yourself as well) that virtual and reality are different things. And from a living relationship, you expect real feelings, albeit without the fulfillment of fantastic virtual promises.
It will be interesting for you:
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And, most importantly, don't consider the upcoming date a "last chance." Tune in to the fact that if a virtual friend comes - well, he won't - well, okay, life goes on and there are a lot of no less interesting events in it than communication on the Internet. published by
The process of introducing the Internet into the life of modern society is gaining more and more momentum every year: children go deeper into the vastness of the network, young couples stop verbal exchange, switching to the language of symbols and pictures, women increasingly turn to the inhabitants of forums and chats for help, men make friends by correspondence ".
The problem of the appearance of a lady on the Internet space of her husband makes any woman feel discomfort and serious excitement, because any emotional connection (and communication always implies such) can easily transform into a closer and more dangerous for the well-being of the family. Understanding why men flirt on the internet is pretty straightforward. For example, a stranger may never see the real appearance of a partner (bald patches, a piercing tummy or eternal slovenliness - all this is hidden), which gives him the opportunity to taste female attention and inspiration.
Many argue that men most often use access to the global network as a way of entertainment - colorful online games, intense battles on chat platforms, streams of the most advanced gamers. This kind of entertainment provides an opportunity not only to communicate with an ardent like-minded person, but also to gain experience and tricks in the chosen area. But many guys are active users of social networks, where you can easily enrich the fairer sex.
World-class experts are increasingly raising the question of why a man flirts with women online. Indeed, in essence, guys are tied to the visualization process - the more appetizing and well-groomed a girl looks, the more pleasant it is to listen to her sayings. The network completely cuts off this contact, because you can only see well-sifted photos of users. Men can exhibit a wide variety of and not always artistically arranged photographs. And women, on the other hand, will never put up a photograph to which there is at least one complaint.
From this, many conclude that a man who is enthusiastically looking for connections on Internet resources suffers from internal depression, therefore, he is looking for a source of self-affirmation. To deal with such a turn in married life is to revise your own behavior. Having calmly analyzed all problem situations and remarks from their own lips, many women understand that in the last period they have often expressed their dissatisfaction in a vivid form and unambiguously lowered the husband's status in conversations with friends, in the company of mutual acquaintances or in communication with parents. Therefore, the question that has arisen about why a married man flirts can be easily answered. In order to increase self-esteem.
The emotional connection between partners is quite fragile, because thanks to it, the body understands how pleasant a person is, and, accordingly, responds to his actions. In the case of a woman, this process is expressed much brighter and more colorful - after another quarrel, it is quite difficult for a woman to tune in to intimacy. A storm of emotional discontent does not allow optimal relaxation, which, in turn, leads to a deterioration of the state of mind and depression.
Men who have lost their emotional connection try to drown out the resulting background as much as possible: first, “men's days” appear, when it is completely absent for the spouse, then an acquaintance with a woman on the network may form. Driven by marital and civic duty, he does not dare to take drastic measures, but tries to find a substitute.
To understand why a man flirts with others, a woman needs to thoroughly understand herself. If the partner is not satisfied with something or infuriates with some kind of habit, you need to try to find a common ground and deal with the problem that has arisen together. If the spouse does not cause trepidation or pleasant excitement in the heart, it is worth starting to consider the option of the need to continue family life.
Statistics say that the majority of the female audience in this kind of problem is advised to start the same, thereby inciting her husband to think about possible adultery on the part of his wife. None of them, for the most part, asks the question of why men flirt, but immediately move on to fighting in the family. The problem is that the resulting feeling of jealousy only intensifies the process of disagreement between partners. If a man felt a lack of attention or the pressure of fierce criticism, and now sees clear evidence of a preference for a new friend, then the spouse's remoteness will turn into a divorce.
The correct tactic for a woman should be to re-evaluate her own contribution to the prosperity of the family. The question that has arisen "why do men flirt" should be paraphrased in "what is missing in our relationship." Low self-esteem or internal conflict in relationships can all be resolved together.
A separate case is the situation when a pregnant wife or already the mother of the baby ceases to give the lion's share of her attention to her husband, and he plunges into the world of the Internet. In such a situation, it is worth taking the problem into your own hands. The chats are full of female tantrums and indignant cries about fatigue and chronic lack of sleep, they say, most of the care and trouble falls on the shoulders of the wife, and after that you still have to adjust to your hubby.
It's worth considering why men flirt. For men, flirting is a kind of hunting, because verbal training gives a touch of romanticism and color to life together. Every man tries to get an intelligent, beautiful and bright woman in his possession, everyday problems and fatigue often pass his attention.
A family where parental concerns are divided with a clear preponderance to one side should find a possible compromise - to give the wife a couple of hours daily to take a break from the role of a mother, or to distribute the chores more fairly. The more time a woman has to relax, the more she is inspired by family life.
A frequently asked question from psychologists about why men flirt has a fairly simple answer. Often they are simply afraid of any responsibilities or restrictions on freedom. Family life presupposes a constant unwritten record of one's actions and future plans, and the Internet connection can develop completely at the request of a man. Over the past 10 years, psychologists in Europe have come to stunning conclusions: more than a quarter of the male population under 30 are actively using virtual chats, fearing to move to the level of real contact. The idealized image of a girl during correspondence may simply not pass the checks of everyday life, so most go to the stage of a virtual intimate relationship, without touching real life.
Even in the ideal relationship phase, women often ask why men are flirting with others. It is not uncommon for a groom or lover to pay a lot of attention to conversations with clients or employees. The fact is that every man is, first of all, a male; in his essence, herd relations still live, when everyone had the opportunity to calmly replenish their female paradise. Now, not so much is allotted to everyone, and there is always a need to make up for the lack of attention.
If you start a conversation with your lover himself about why men flirt, you can get a rather confusing monologue in response, in which there are 100% arguments for the innocence of such actions and the groundlessness of any female claims. None of the guys are ready to discuss the propensity for constant flirting with the fair sex with their own spouse or fiancée. Courtesy of the lady you like is the simplest reaction of the male subconscious, because by touching the beauty, everyone gets an emotional recharge.
Psychologists in many countries try to fully answer the question of why a married man flirts. Each of them, in communicating with a beautiful woman, first of all, gets pleasure from himself, because in a dialogue with a close girl unfamiliar, you can describe your own shortcomings or advantages from a more advantageous side and then believe in the told fable. Guys themselves rarely think about the reason for the craving for flirting. Therefore, the condemnation of the wife completely knocks the ground out from under their feet.
It is quite easy to understand why men flirt on the Internet - the virtual reality of relationships initially rejects the continuation. Indeed, most often the chosen one by correspondence is far away, and it is not so easy to establish a tactile connection with her, but the very fact of regular communication should prompt his real partner's thoughts. The appearance of another listener for a beloved man may indicate a violation of communication within the family, which gradually destroys the marriage.
- In our time, when communication between a man and a woman passes, in many respects, into the field of information technology, in the virtual world, not only acquaintance, but also the development of relations often occurs, including feelings that are commonly called virtual love arise. Why do people go for such a relationship? Is it possible to call the main reason for this step a lack of acquaintances in reality, or do such people have some specific characteristics?
- There are many different typologies of people on the Internet, many unhealthy people, many normal people who are just a little lost at the moment. If we speak in terms, then at the moment, if we look at it globally, there is a “schizoidization” of the population, ie. departure from the real world to the Internet space and virtual relationships.
People can be divided into several categories according to their level of income. The first category is people who constantly work and earn little money, their self-esteem, as a rule, suffers, but not in all cases, we are now talking about those who constantly surf the Internet. The second category is "office" workers, their life on the Internet happens literally all the time: they sit at work on the Internet, their work is connected with the Internet, they have various means of communication there - ICQ, Skype, contact, ie. there are a lot of links on which someone constantly hangs and answers something. There is also a third category - these are wealthy people who are engaged in some kind of business and are deeply involved in it. By the way, there are a very small percentage of them in the virtual world, and in virtual love, because they have no time to do this, they read more news on the Internet and take information that is useful for their work.
People of low income, as a rule, have a problem going online during the day, because their work is not connected specifically with the office, they do not have a tablet, laptop, computer, but they began to get out of this situation - they install the Internet in the phone. Recently, I have very often come across during consultations with the fact that office workers begin to have romances with those who have the Internet only on their phones. And do you know how they define them? If you are texting on a computer, then you put emoticons, periods, commas and extended text messages are displayed, and if you are texting from a phone, then you are too lazy to look somewhere for a parenthesis, a comma, and the messages are usually stingy. People with little life are on the Internet mainly in the evening or midnight, rarely does anyone leave after three, this happens, as a rule, if you communicate with any one virtual person.
— Those who are in business simply have no time. They have money, someone constantly wants to get to know them, they are hunting, they simply do not need it, they have other problems. A segment of the population with a minimum income is often limited by households in using the Internet, because you have to pay for it, if they do not pay for a month, then they fly out of this virtual life. In the summer, if you look at it, they mostly go out into the street, on a bench, with seeds, with a phone, with a bottle of beer. You can't do much with the phone. The zone most susceptible to moving into virtual relationships is "office" workers, because they have the opportunity to buy modern "gadgets" for communication.
- In the process of virtual relationships, there is trust, and the trust is unfounded, nevertheless, people trust their virtual partner. For example, on our anti-suicide website Pobedish.ru there was a case when a girl virtually fell in love with a man, talked, then he left her, as a result it turned out that it was not a young man, but an old man. She even wanted to commit suicide. Where does such unfounded trust come from?
— Here we can talk about the element of dependent personality. There is a concept of love, when two people can absolutely adequately live, be together, but also fully feel themselves without each other. And there is love addiction, when we need the object we are in love with to be constantly somewhere nearby, no matter in the real or virtual world. This is where the element of trust starts to mix with addiction. The person says: "I trust you, but then you, too, give me something in return, and as much as possible." A certain greed appears: "I will reveal to you all my secrets, I will tell you about everything, you will listen to me, you will pity me." This is an element of a dependent personality. Such people require attention, pity. One patient, for an hour sixty-three times, checked whether a young man had written to her, i.e. she "flew away" into a virtual relationship completely.
A very similar situation from practice, when a girl corresponded with a young man, he was in another city, and by the time she came to the reception, their correspondence had lasted for two years, but during this time they never met. Very often, the reason for such a long-term virtual love is that the person sitting at the computer is a little different from what he imagines himself to be. The girl in the photographs was quite attractive, everything was edited in Photoshop, but she had problems with weight, and she tried to fight it for two years, set goals to put herself in order in order to meet him. We worked with her for six months, she lost weight, and when she was already sure that now she could meet with him, she offered him a meeting, but then he fidgeted. Suddenly, instead of him, a so-called relative appeared on his account, who said that he had an accident, and it was not known when he would leave the hospital. The girl told me about how they corresponded, and in some moments I showed her that there, perhaps, is not the person he pretended to be, it is not known at all whether it is a man or a girl. But when a person is addicted, he quickly begins to trust and with this trust binds his partner.
- Does this mean that people who are initially prone to addiction are prone to such virtual relationships?
— Yes. If a person is free from addiction, then he is self-sufficient, he can spend time with himself, enjoy it, he can go out with friends, he can surf the Internet, but he does not disappear there all the time. He loves himself and loves friends, he does not need one single person, he communicates with the real world and can spend some time in the virtual, but he does not get hung up on it.
I can cite one more, rather interesting example from practice. Husband and wife are bank employees, they only work in different banks. They met on the Internet, got married. A year has passed, and even after the wedding, they had a very peculiar communication: all day they sit on the Internet, communicate, come home, have dinner, she sits in a room with a laptop, and he sits in the kitchen with a laptop and they communicate with each other. They have a problem, they cannot have children. With this style of communication, it is difficult. They came with this, did not understand what was the matter. Moreover, they say that their emotions and feelings are actualized on the Internet. They experimented on purpose: they left for the dacha, spent two days there without the Internet, and she said that these two days had dropped out of her life, it was emptiness. Returned - and again emotions ...
Therefore, in most cases we can say that a person who sits on the Internet and falls in love there is an addicted person. Sitting at the computer at home, you can sit with a shaggy head, not wearing makeup and say that you are in a beautiful negligee, in sexy lingerie, and at the other end a man will be sitting with a sandwich in his hands, in family shorts, with a can of beer, talking, that he is now sitting by the fireplace on a leather sofa. This is an embellishment of reality, one that does not exist in life and, naturally, dreams come true.
There are actually pluses here, if you don't go too far in communication. Recently, girls have raised a riot that men mainly communicate on the Internet, and you can't get him to meet him, you need to make an effort. Although some men are very active, they constantly offer to meet, but very often the girls refuse them because they do not meet their requirements and ideas. The more often you are denied, the more you want to get this person out. Girls now often offer to meet themselves after one or two weeks of communication, they hint to a man to show some kind of activity.
Another case from practice. For three weeks, the girl arranged a marathon on sites, found a bunch of interesting young people, met five. She told incredible things, how many strange and not quite normal men came to the meeting, and only one got a decent one with whom she now continues to communicate, but their virtual love turned into real communication, let's see what happens next.
But if we are talking about virtual love, then very often it occurs when people are at a great distance from each other.
— Because they have no opportunity to meet in reality. At least it's hard.
- This is an excuse. Why can virtual love last for years? Because a person embellishes himself. Distance prevents them from meeting, he always has an excuse: “I would love to meet with you, but you understand that there is a great distance between us. Someday, soon, soon I will be passing through your city and we will definitely meet. " And the girl says: "Yes, of course, I will wait for you."
There is now such a thing as a "virtual mistress". Basically, men from Moscow get themselves "virtual mistresses" who are, for example, in Nizhny Novgorod, in Ryazan. They praise themselves, show pictures of expensive cars, good income, although he himself earns average, but he "blooms" here, asserts himself. Moreover, he can live with a girl who perceives him differently, but on the Internet there is just crazy, unreal love. For girls from other cities, a man living in Moscow with an expensive "war horse" and a pocket full of money is a "tidbit" for them, a "handsome prince".
— Do they then meet with their virtual mistresses in reality?
— Quite recently there was such a case, a girl from Voronezh, and he is a Muscovite. She specially came up with an excuse, she came, but he came up with some kind of business trip and immediately, supposedly, flew to Kazakhstan. She drove back. He referred to his employment, his business, which he actually does not have. This is such a "love". She still continues to communicate with him, hopes. Apparently, when she came here, Moscow impressed her, she may even have seen a prototype of her young man somewhere on the street.
- It is clear that on the Internet we are not dealing with real people, but with images. Is it possible to call the attitude to the image love or love, or is it something else?
— At first, in any case, there is some kind of love. Everyone already knows the rules of how to show oneself on the Internet, how to attract attention and interest. Accordingly, if your inner image, the ideal of a man (woman) has converged with the one you found on the Internet, then you will fall in love with this image. Photoshop is powerful. Some deliberately inflate the image of the one with whom they fell in love, so as not to meet. In most cases, in virtual love, it is precisely the avoidance of meeting. After all, there will be wild disappointment. We do first, and then we think. We got involved in the battle, and then we'll see, lick the wounds, if that. In principle, you can delete from friends by pressing the button - that's all, and make a new one. You can live for years on this Internet, get more and more new partners, finding reasons not to meet.
You also need to keep in mind that there are a lot of psychopathic personalities in virtual communication. As one professor said: “Before, psychopaths came to us for treatment, but now they don't. Because they are on the Internet now. " The same psychopath will find what he needs on the Internet, and he will bathe in glory there, he will be praised, somewhere he will be pitied, somewhere he can break loose, show aggression - and all this is almost painless for him.
— Those. can you easily fall in love with such a psychopath?
- Yes, it is quite possible. There are a large number of sexopaths, with sexual perversions, perversions. Patients with schizophrenia themselves tell how they meet girls on the Internet. After all, you may not even see his illness, he may be in a good treated condition, at the moment he may be on medication. He will feel great, he will talk to you, he will even be attractive in some way, he may have some beautiful images in his head. They can be creative people, there are also creative personalities, with elements of hysterical-schizoid. Beautiful in its strangeness of singularity. With its element of chill, emasculation, it can, on the contrary, attract some girls, because it must be achieved, you still cannot pull emotions out of it. When we meet there, we do not even suspect who is there, we do not even know the man or the woman there. Even if you guessed right with the gender, then it is not known in what state the person himself is. Therefore, such a person can avoid meetings all the time.
One client says: “I constantly have about ten virtual lovers who want to meet with me, with some I can go to dinner. I wanted to have dinner, not to pay money, I just - and called him to a meeting. I can pull him out once every two weeks, and he pays for me safely. " She became involved in such a relationship and it is already difficult for her to build a relationship in reality.
Basically, they come to specialists when everything is already running, when they have gone there in full, when they are disappointed in love, in relationships. There are a lot of married men on the Internet, they start such virtual love, when family life has cooled, there are few emotions, a man works a lot, earns money, brings it home, but does not receive the gratitude that he expects. And on the Internet, he will receive all this in full. Because he describes to this girl that he is good, he works hard, earns good money, he is wonderful, he is an athlete. She does not see everything that is really happening to him, and she gives emotions that he lacks.
- Does it mean that if a person refuses to meet, then this in any case should raise suspicion?
— Yes. I can even name some reasons why the person with whom you communicate refuses to have a real meeting. First, he may be a disabled person who is just getting companionship. He may have tried to date, but these meetings were so stressful that he said to himself: "no, never."
Second, these are men who are currently in a relationship and it is difficult for them to meet. The girl will offer a meeting after work, and after work he is busy with his woman. The woman he lives with or his wife calls him and says: “Where are you now? How long will you be in? If you leave the metro, call me back, please. " What kind of meetings can we talk about here? He begins to say in fits and starts: "Well, let's meet you for an hour and a half." He told his wife that he had some business, that he was delayed at work, and he himself ran to a cafe, sat and tried to fall in love with this girl - that's it, he can't do it anymore. Even if he met once, then the second and third is problematic for him.
People who are actively involved in business also have a busy day and in the middle of a constant stream of work, they can get some emotions. He can constantly have three or four girls, because he needs it, it turns him on. There is such a personality type, they are like emotional bloodsuckers, feed themselves and go on to work, the so-called "love vampires". If a man refuses to meet with you even on his day off, says that he is leaving, then it is almost one hundred percent that he has someone, but he just plays, amuses himself, falls in love, but he does not want to let you close. Men who have ongoing relationships go to the Internet and start falling in love there because they lack these emotions in real life. They go to this virtual world in order to be successful, beautiful, attractive, popular there - something that the girl who is nearby does not give them.
The girls do the same. They say that their man does not know how to listen, does not know how to compliment, to look after. Maybe he could, but a year or two or three - and everything calms down. Any girl, more or less attractive, hangs out a questionnaire and a day she can receive fifty, or even five hundred messages with various offers, compliments, and here the girl blooms: “How nice it is, what a thrill it is”.
If you read these messages to a specialist, he will find there a lot of compliments written by people with low intelligence, inept, childish, a lot of psychopathic personalities, read what they write there! And suddenly, out of such chaos, some competent person appears who writes something non-standard to you. Everyone writes: “hello baby! You are sexy, you are super, I would take a walk with you! " These are such platitudes, which are five hundred pieces a day, and suddenly an absolutely incomprehensible message comes that stands out from all this. In the beginning, the question "how?" May simply come. You naturally cling, you wonder what he meant. And a man with a hanging tongue, with a normal head, can start to speak non-standard phrases and this catches the girl. Moreover, if he shows that he does not need sex and meetings, the girl, after all, will say: “How is this so? Everyone wants to see me, everyone wants to be in love with me, but this one does not. It would be very interesting to meet with him later. " But very often it can be a married man, this is where virtual love ends. Either he disappears somewhere, ignores, or he can be rude and, accordingly, the girl is offended, and he is happy, he got his own and moves on. And then he can get into an accident, as in the case I spoke about at the beginning.
Moreover, that girl was going to fly to him, she had already phoned all the hospitals in this city, but he was nowhere to be found. And when she came almost with tickets in her arms, I stopped her and said: “Now let's think that perhaps this person is not even in sight, who is sitting there at the computer - we cannot understand. But these two years, of course, gave you something, but they also took a lot - two years of your life. You could have met young people this time in reality. " These girls have a social circle so poor and limited that they have to re-learn how to communicate with people. These are the main disadvantages.
— What advice would you give to people who are in this virtual relationship or on the verge of joining one?
— Those who are already in these relationships and already understand that they lead to something incomprehensible, that this can continue indefinitely, more often ask yourself the questions “what am I doing? Why am I sitting here all the time? Where are my friends, where is my real communication? " Here you need to re-learn to build your real life, if you can't do it yourself, then it is better to turn to a specialist. That being said, if your washing machine breaks down at home, you yourself will not repair it, but call the master. Here the same thing, if you can't get your head repaired, then you need to contact a specialist dealing with this topic.
After a week or two, you need to try to go out to a meeting, see this person, so as not to "fly away" further into addiction, because it will only lead to some kind of disappointment, emptiness, possibly depression. Therefore, it is necessary to translate virtual communication into reality. You need to learn to get acquainted in real life, because when you meet on the Internet, a person has high self-esteem and makes more demands, it can be difficult to get acquainted with a beautiful girl, because she has hundreds of proposals on the Internet. And if, for example, you meet such a girl in life on the street, then she is different, it is easier to talk to her, she will make contact faster if you are really so interesting and wonderful. You need to live more in the real world and use less gadgets. Get up from the computer and go to reality.
How to create a happy family: online course
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“Loneliness on the Web” is the name of the most famous bestselling novel by Janusz Wisniewski about virtual relationships. Almost every second, if not the first, searches for one-time dating, a kindred spirit and love on the Internet today. Who is attracted by virtuality to build relationships, how to conduct a conversation correctly, and can a virtual novel turn into a real one? Let's talk today about a burning topic.
Information and technological progress has brought not only a huge number of conveniences and advantages, but also created new difficulties. One of them is a virtual relationship at a distance. For many, ordinary correspondence with the opposite sex is nothing more than another fun that will pass by itself. For others, in particular girls, this is a chance to meet the same one. However, more often than not, such relationships end with a broken heart and low self-esteem.
Virtual relationships usually take place in correspondence: people exchange messages on social networks, dating sites or chat rooms. Particularly courageous potential lovers can communicate via Skype.
Often, virtual communication replaces the real one. The person is gradually drawn into communication through the monitor. Therefore, the natural need to talk to someone disappears by itself.
Each of us needs love, we have an innate need to love and be loved. Moreover, this need manifests itself in recognition, approval, respect and full acceptance. When a person is in love, he is happy, complete and full of strength and energy. Therefore, if a person does not find love in real life, he looks for it on the Internet.
Virtual love and virtual relationships are practically the same concepts. Online love is a contrived fact that is based on the fantasy, imagination and imagination of a partner. Moreover, these ideas may absolutely not correspond to a real person. Therefore, people often get upset when meeting a virtual partner in life. The far-fetched does not coincide with reality. Moreover, the fact of unjustified expectations is manifested from appearance to demeanor and character. For example, “wow, she’s not as beautiful as in the photo” or “he turned out to be so ugly”.
Virtual relationships are communication between people, in which they do not see each other, do not touch and do not perform any actions in relation to each other. However, they conventionally consider themselves a couple. They reinforce their “love” with emoticons with kisses, compliments and wishes for “good morning” and “good night”.
Virtual love is a kind of mind game. Playing in love, a person does not see, does not hear, does not understand what is happening around him, in real life. And he can talk about himself for days. It is not a fact that what was told will turn out to be true.
It is very rare for virtual lovers to meet in reality.
Both virtual relationships and virtual love both start quickly and end so quickly. Especially after a real meeting.
Online love brings different emotions. Let's consider the main types of relationships on the Web, which are easily determined by correspondence:
Building a relationship between a woman and a man implies certain principles. Virtual relationships are based on the following foundations:
Why do people meet online? This phenomenon is rather a consequence of our modern life. Nowadays, many young people are passionate about building a career and making money. They work hard. Therefore, there is practically no time left for relaxation and acquaintance in a club, at parties, exhibitions or restaurants. Other people often feel complex because of their far-fetched shortcomings, so they are afraid to meet someone in real life. They feel much bolder in their comfort zone: at home in front of the monitor.
On the Internet, everyone can become a kind of superhero, successful businessman, top beauty or model. These are the masks that you can try on, and you won't get anything for it. In fact, such people in life turn out to be cowardly, uncommunicative and notorious.
Building love online can have its consequences. First of all, addiction. People are so carried away by the fact of correspondence that they are completely immersed in the virtual world. And without hesitation, a person introduces himself as anyone, tells anything, without bearing responsibility for the words.
The problem of communication on the Internet is connected with the fact that people here find friends and love for themselves, hiding from loneliness in real life. However, problems in life are not solved in this way, but on the contrary are aggravated. It is more difficult for a person who is dependent on communication on the Internet to contact people in the future. Gradually, this habit dulls. It is quite difficult to get out of this web on your own. Many resort to the help of a psychologist.
The main problems of communication on the Internet:
Gradually, lying becomes a habit and "migrates" into real life.
The answer is more than specific: in life. Why does a man need a virtual relationship? Many men say they are honing their flirting practice. Moreover, it is mainly married men who choose this method of consolidating their skills.
On a psychological level, men do not regard flirting in correspondence as treason. For them, this is nothing more than entertainment, which can be compared with the favorite computer game "Tanchiki".
According to statistics, about 26% of all men over the age of 30 choose virtual relationships. Many of them practice virtual sex and completely refuse to start a relationship in reality.
Why do men love virtual relationships? Because there is no obligation. Taking responsibility is hard. Men "save" themselves from the routine of family life. And on the Internet, they take turns putting on masks: today - an insidious seducer, tomorrow - a snake-tempter. However, unfortunately, no mask gets along in reality with such a "masquerading" man.
Psychologists assure that men like virtual communication because of the mystery. They like to think out the image of a girl, fill her with personal expectations and fantasies. In a kind of mentality, a man himself makes his ideal out of a woman by correspondence. It is such a woman that he lacks in real life.
However, more often than not, such a relationship does not end with anything. It is difficult for a man to match his chosen "mask" in reality. And in life with a girl to meet, too, often lacks the courage.
Of course, not everything is as bad as it might seem. There are also significant advantages to virtual love:
Of course, everyone can expand this list.
Not everything is so rosy. There are also significant disadvantages that can easily overshadow the pros. So, the cons of building love online:
The main drawback of virtual love is the loss of the skill of "live" real communication.
Virtual relationships involve interesting communication. Without this, nowhere. So, in order to establish contact, you need to follow these rules:
The main rule in virtual communication is to be sincere. As you are!
Banal messages like “Hello! How are you? What are you doing?" are in the past. It became "hackneyed". And in general: why should a girl answer to an unfamiliar guy, how is she doing and what is she doing?
The guy should interest the girl from the first sentence. So, some advice from psychologists:
The main thing is respect. You can be culturally arrogant. The key word is "cultural".
It all depends on your moral readiness and the purpose of communication. Sometimes it is better not to move from the virtual world to the real one. However, if the desire to meet in life is mutual, then why should one resist? If your desires do not come true, then let it be a lesson. As the saying goes, it is better to do something and regret than not to do something and also regret.
You should not place high hopes on a meeting in reality. People often just become good friends. Often, the first meeting in life becomes the last. The interlocutor does not have to meet your expectations, just as you do his.
Virtual relationships are all experiences, whether good or not depends on the situation. However, this experience is invaluable. It is better to meet a person in life, to communicate. In this case, you can consider it. What if, in fact, this person is the one you have been looking for for so long ?!
