To establish relations with her husband's wounded and offended woman after treason, probably the most difficult thing that can expect in family life. To preserve the marriage and for the sake of the well-being of children, many are ready to accept and forgive. According to psychological statistics, in such situations, the majority of married women are early or late. Do not hold offense, forget about disappointments and receive a chosen one as it is, is a whole science. After all, it is thanks to the women's wisdom that family values \u200b\u200bare preserved and love occupies the main place in the life of partners.
In order to maintain the relative peace in the family, psychologists recommend learn how to learn how to learn how to manage disputes. After all, it is quite difficult to avoid clarifying relationships in any marriage, but to reduce the risks of negative consequences for each side. Allow the conflict situation and mitigate the negative behavior of the husband, using the reception concentration on your own sensations. Switching all thoughts from the subject of a quarrel to the internal perception of the problem will allow you to control your emotions, and, consequently, words.
Configure a conversation with a man for a good resolution of the question using tactical techniques. Even if he does not want to talk about the reason for the disaster in the family, 15 minutes of personal time, to listen to the spouse, will definitely allocate. It is important to make an emphasis on the most important for your beloved things, which even on the subconscious level are of great importance for him. Raising children, difficulty management of economic affairs, health problems, care for parents - can work anything. Tips of the psychologist are based on the inseparable making of the difficulties with both partners equally.
Family clarification of relationships with his spouse after its treason are especially hard. If a woman decided to keep his family and make up his husband, it is necessary to understand that the conversation on this occasion should take place only 1 time. Sincere repentance deserves forgiveness, but only if the betrayal does not happen again. Psychologists believe that both faults are to blame for such situations. Provice such an act of a man could not be misunderstanding or dissatisfaction in bed. Many wives restricted sexual relations are trying to teach her husband to proper behavior, not understanding that they themselves provoke him.
Quarrels and discords are sooner or later found in any family. In exceptional cases, they become an insurmountable obstacle to create a strong union. Psychologists focus on the fact that in the process of addiction to each other, there may be many reasons for cooling relationships. It is impossible to restore the lost harmony without clarifying all the reasons. The most common among provoking factors are as follows:
After a quarrel to restore the relationship is very difficult. Psychologists recommend working in this direction to both partners. After all, from any situation to seek a way out together much easier and more efficiently than fighting the wall alone.
When it's time to divorce your husband and how to decide on this step - the advice of psychologists
Psychological statistics state that from 100 married couples almost 80 there are constant disagreements. Families in which there is never conflicts, no. In one case, such situations are short-term and quickly forgotten, in other families problems are delayed, and it is simply impossible to save the relationship without the help of a specialist. Return trusting relationships, loyalty and respect, even if the family is on the verge of divorce, forces every woman.
What psychologists advise:
Birth of a child, material problems, loss of work - all this is experiencing a family for strength. No need to exacerbate situations by conflicts and quarrels. It is important to remember that all this temporarily and soon the relationship will return to the usual bed. Responsibility and patience will make life easier for their half, thereby preserving the confidence that the family is the main vital value.
With dignity to get out of any situation, the woman will help the elimination of errors that are allowed when communicating with husbands:
It is important to attract a loved one to assist in care of the newborn. Request support for educating already adult children, consult about purchases. You do not need to get everything on fragile female shoulders. A man should feel necessary not only on the day of the patch, and always, even in solving small problems.
I watched my husband fascinally, and he did not reduce admiring eyes from his mistress. He behaved like a in love of the jerk ... Compatibility horoscope
A favorable atmosphere in the family always depends on the relationship between her husband and his wife. Each couple strive to achieve harmony in this difficult work. According to statistics, about 80% of young couples are submitted for a divorce for the first time to 2 years. This is due to the fact that mostly people are not trying to find a common way out of the situation, except for just divorce. A marital relationship requires always permanent work. These are compromises and endless love for the family.
Typically, the initiators in solving the established problems are excellent half. Only women are looking for ways to improve relationships with her husband. Initially, it is necessary to understand that you can only solve the problem together. If two halves want to be together and ready to change something, only in this case will be the result. On the path of solving problems to be seriously talking to her husband. Talk about what boiled, but not in the mold and just what has accumulated on the shower. You must understand that specially no one to offend anyone to offend anyone, just someone did not see the feelings and resentment of the other.
Try to spend your free time together, it can be watching funny videos, such as army jokes, or film. Go together to a restaurant or shopping. Minutes of such communication are very valuable in order to establish relations between spouses.
Start talking with my husband for souls. Ask that it is most worried about what he does not like. Perhaps you cook the pancakes every morning, and he is already tired and he wants waffles, but it was not daring to say for your nature. Share with my husband's negative moments that you derive from yourself. The main essence of conversations is to identify the cause of discontent. It usually happens like this: a husband or wife said something offensive, but offended immediately did not respond, but simply "swallowed." So the second half and did not guessed that it was hurt and could repeat it more than once. And then, when the resentment has accumulated, the limit comes and everything "komom" to roll in relationships. And the limit is all. Both a woman and a man can break. So the young families are swore. And it was worth just to talk.
There is one good advice - never complain about your husband to your girlfriends, mom, and most importantly, his friends. When the insult "hits" for self-esteem of a man is the worse. Most likely, he will begin to do the same - to complain about your friends and his friends, and then you will look worse. All insults and quarrels should not be carried out of the house and from your marital circle. You created them, and no one except you decide. We useful to add heat and caress. Kisses for farewell before leaving for work, wish good night before bedtime. More often to tell her husband that he looks good. Be polite to each other, you always feel about care, and then you cannot quarrel with anyone from you.
"Life live - not the field go" - this is a saying how it is impossible to reveal the essence of the marital life. Stressful situations of everyday life, domestic troubles, conflicts and quarrels - all this is an integral part of family life affecting the relationship between spouses. As a result, sometimes relations become simply impossible, and the marriage, the once happy and cloudless, suddenly begins to collapse. How to avoid such a situation? How to establish relationships between spouses? Below we give a few tips to how to do it.
The establishment of relations is often the difficult task that needs to be addressed to preserve the marriage. The crisis in the relationship may occur at any time and in any pair. For the relationship not to stand in place, they did not destroy them all the time to maintain. It is necessary to constantly work on them and on yourself. Before, establishing relationships, it is necessary to identify the cause of quarrels and conflicts, after which it becomes clear how to build them.
It is necessary to remember any married couple that any quarrel or conflict must end with rapid reconciliation. First of all, it is necessary to understand that it does not suit you in this relationship. What would you like to change? What exactly does your spouse do wrong? To such a question you need to approach with all seriousness. You must be prepared for the fact that your attitude and behavior may not arrange your second half.
Love and respect must be prioritized in relations between spouses. "Treat people as we would like to treat you" - such a principle should be present in family relationships. Tune in only on positive communication. Create an atmosphere of trust, mutual respect, where you and your spouse will feel very comfortable. In such conditions, if there are quarrels and conflicts, you will quickly find the way out of the situation, mutually realizing your mistakes.
Try to listen and hear your spouse. Do not allow any inactivities in relationships with your spouse, do not leave the resentment for tomorrow. Do not stop communicating between you, as this is a sign of the end of a married life. It is necessary to look for the essence and the cause of the problem now, immediately, and, if it is insignificant, you do not need to spend time in vain, dedicate it better to each other. If the reason is serious, then it is necessary to act immediately. Try to understand what you want from this conflict or quarrel, which concessions and victims are you willing to go for reconciliation and what you should teach both the conflict of both.
Always ask your spouse about his problems, you are interested in his affairs, worry about his health. Be sure to arrange recreation from each other. Each person has moments when he wants to be alone or with friends. In such cases, it is important to understand the spouses, and not stupid resentment.
To prevent a quarrel that can turn into a conflict, try to bypass the topics of conversations that your opinions are very diverged, and discuss the themes that you both give positive emotions. In a quarrel with a spouse, try never to say anything. With anger, the problem is not solved. Do not touch the topic of parents or friends in quarrels, "do not beat him" in a weak point, which he confestedly told you. For him, this may be betraying on your part. Never put an ultimatum with your second half, since in most cases it is only glowing the relationship, the opposite effect works. Do not eat offensive phrases in quarrels, as you can get the same in response.
To establish relationships, you need to make compromises, something to give up to my husband, and he, in turn, can give way to you. Be sure to find free time to devote it only to each other. Always remember past years happy and carefree living together. Make more diversity in your daily life, enter new family traditions, surprise each other.
The establishment of relations cannot exist without the ability to forgive each other. Learn for forgiveness, let's chances for each other to correct errors. After all, in the end, in family conflicts, the perpetrators are usually two.
To life in marriage is long and happy, learn to laugh. Permanent stress, experiences, problems make people closed and aggressive, and a healthy laughter will be able to overcome any problem. Laugh together, communicate with each other with humor and then everything will be easier.
The most important advice in the establishment of family relations is the first step towards reconciliation. Do not be afraid to make it first. After all, the result is worth it.
However, to begin with, it is necessary to recall the reasons why they should not begin at all:
True love is not at all the fact that romantic love, which makes us not notice the shortcomings of the partner. This is a choice. This is the constant support of another person regardless of the circumstances of the circumstances. This understanding is that your relationship will not always be cloudless. This is the need to deal with the problems of a partner, his fears and thoughts, even when you do not want this at all.
Such love is more prosaic, it requires much more effort from partners. But still she gives a man much more. After all, ultimately, it brings the present, and not the next short euphoria.
This is the main thing in the relationship. Not an attraction, not common goals, not religion and not even love. There will be moments when you begin to seem that you do not like each other anymore. But if you lose respect for a partner, it will not be possible to return it.
Communication, no matter how open and frequent it is, in any case, will once be in a dead end. Conflicts and offended can not be avoided.
The only thing that will help save your relationship is unshakable respect. Without this, you will always doubt each other's intentions, condemn the choice of a partner and try to limit its independence.
In addition, you need to respect yourself yourself. Without self-esteem, you will not be able to feel that you deserve respect for the partner. You will always try to prove that it is worthy, but as a result, only your relationship.
Respect directly related to confidence. A is the basis of any relationship (not only romantic). Without it, there can be no feeling of intimacy and calm.
If something does not suit you, be sure to discuss it. No one will wait for your relationship for you. The main thing to preserve confidence is the absolute honesty and openness of both partners.
Trust in something looks like a porcelain plate. If it falls and breaks, then with great difficulty it will still be glued again. If you break it secondly, the fragments will be twice as bigger, and the time and effort to collect them together, will also need more. But if you drop the plate at once, in the end, it will split into such small pieces that it will be impossible to glue them.
We often hear that relationships require victims. There is some truth in this: sometimes it really has to refuse something. But if both partners are constantly sacrificed, they are unlikely to be happy. Such relationships eventually will hurt them both.
Each person must be an independent person with his own views and interests.
Trying the partner to make it happy (or allowing you to control your own actions), you do not achieve anything good.
Some are afraid to give partner freedom and independence. The reason for this may be lack of confidence or insecurity. The less we appreciate ourselves, the more you will try to control the behavior of the partner.
Over time, you will change with a partner - it's completely natural. Therefore, it is important to always be aware of the changes that takes place and relative to them.
If you plan to spend several decades together, you need to be prepared for difficulties and unforeseen situations.
Among the considerable changes faced by many pairs, there may be a change in religion and political views, moving to another country, (including children).
When you begin to meet, you know only what this person is now. You can't know how it will be in five or 10 years. Therefore, you need to be ready for surprises. Of course it is not easy. But help here can quarrel to quarrel.
The psychologist John Gottman singled out four signs of behavior that indicate a possible breaking of relationships:
Therefore, it is worth learn to quarrel right:
Do not attempt to change the partner - this is a sign of disrespect. Please accept the fact that you have disagreements, love a person despite them and try to forgive.
But how to learn to forgive?
Any relationship is imperfect, because we iddeal themselves. Therefore, be pragmatic: determine what each of you is good what you love and do not like to do, and then distribute the duties.
In addition, many pairs advise some rules in advance. For example, how will you share all expenses? How much are you ready to take in debt? How much can you spend each of the partners without consulting with the other? What do you need to buy together? How will you decide where to go on vacation?
Some even conduct "annual reports", during which they are discussing doing business and decide what to change in the economy. This, of course, sounds trite, but this approach really helps to be aware of the needs and needs of the partner and strengthens relations.
Simple marks of attention, compliments and support means a lot. All these little things accumulate and affect how you perceive your relationship. Therefore, many advise to continue, get out somewhere on weekends and be sure to find time for sex, even when you are tired. Physical proximity not only allows you to preserve healthy relationships, but it even helps to establish them when something went wrong.
It becomes especially important with the advent of children. In modern culture, they almost pray on them. It is believed that parents should squeeze everything for them.
The best guarantee that children will grow healthy and happy, are healthy and happy relationships between parents.
So let your relationship always be for you in the first place.
Relationships can be compared with the waves on the sea. Such waves are different, takeoffs and falls in relationships. Some last just a few hours, other few months or even years.
The main thing is not to forget that these waves themselves practically do not reflect the quality of relationships. A lot of external factors affect them: loss or change of work, the death of relatives, moving, financial difficulties. You just need to catch a wave with a partner wherever she did not bring you.
There are no ideal relationships, because we are all living people and sometimes experiencing not always coinciding with the feelings of a loved human emotion, or we have our own views on certain life phenomena. However, with all its individuality, someone knows how to maintain reliable and strong relationships with their half for many years in spite of anything. The secret of married couple - "long-livers" lies at all in some special, witchcraft art of love, but in mutual respect, wisdom and the ability to avoid the side of all "sharp corners" or smoothing them, always finding compromise solving problems.
At the same time, it is important to recognize the approach of the crisis in the relationship in time and, if he still came, could be able to make emergency measures to save love., Without allowing the circumstances to give you away from each other. So, what should I do if you feel that your relationship becomes more cool or worse, is the clear crack appeared in them?