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The psychology of men is a rather primitive thing, in the opinion of many representatives of the beautiful half of humanity. But in thinking so, they are making a huge mistake. Men are not ordinary, but specific. They don't like to complicate things and create problems from scratch. And in general, the strong half behaves in a completely different way in comparison with women. Therefore, understanding all the intricacies of the structure of the psychology of men will allow the weaker sex to build more effective models of relationships with husbands, friends, bosses, sons and just a random environment. In most cases, the sons of Adam, regardless of belonging to a particular age group or social, even in adulthood, remain children, only their hobbies become more ambitious and can afford much more, while remaining in their hearts as vulnerable as childhood ...
The psychology of men is such that only outwardly they are overly self-confident, persistent and unshakable. However, this is a mask. Many women are lost in the assumptions why they do not have a relationship with the male sex, not realizing that when communicating, they take a mask for reality, as a result of which they make many mistakes that the male gender does not forgive. It has long been customary to call men the stronger sex. They deserve such a title only solely because of the physical advantage over the feminines, and mentally they are less strong than the fair half. Often the female sex does not understand that the gentlemen accompanying them through life can also be vulnerable and vulnerable, need tenderness and care.
Often, each of the representatives of the human race sins by trying to interpret another individual through the prism of himself. In other words, human nature is such that each subject ascribes to another character traits that he himself has, or a model of behavior in certain situations inherent in him. And when the other begins to behave in a different way, it seems to the individual that he is not held dear. But in reality, the other individual only in a different way expresses sympathy, agreement or disagreement.
People often lack the opportunity to look at situations from an alternative position or "someone else's eyes". Women in difficult situations do not put themselves in the shoes of their husbands, but only suggest how they need to act. At the same time, they completely forget about personal individuality and many other related factors. Naturally, the average husband, who does not possess the gift of reading women's thoughts, acts in a completely different way. This is how female grievances arise against the representatives of the stronger sex, who absolutely do not understand them. This approach, of course, negatively affects the relationship between the sexes and their mutual understanding in general.
To understand the psychology of men, the entire male brotherhood should be divided into certain types. Any "normal" representative of the stronger sex strives to achieve some known goal. It is important for some to provide evidence of their own importance to those around them, others strive to become the center of any collective, absolutely everyone likes it, still others crave power, the fourth see their goal in helping others, and the fifth, on the contrary, are used to just taking, giving nothing in return.
Psychology of men or how to understand a man?
Perhaps this is strange, but even when the children of Adam and Eve speak the same language, they still do not understand each other. And it's not about the declensions, endings, suffixes, pronouns and prefixes used, but about the different expressions of their own opinions and experiences. An example of this is the retelling of an ordinary children's fairy tale, heard from the lips of a boy and uttered by a girl. The big difference between their stories will be immediately apparent.
If the basics of male communication and female language were taught in school lessons, many conflicts between the sexes could be avoided.
For men, the main thing is action, while for the female part - the inner world and emotions. While the strong half is thinking about the accomplishment of a world coup, the weak part of the population is thinking about a new culinary masterpiece, supposed for dinner. When the solution to a complex production problem is spinning in his brain, her head is full of all sorts of options for speedy weight loss. Women tend to think more concretely and narrowly than men. The strong half often does not notice scattered socks, dirty dishes and cobwebs in the corners everywhere, in turn, the weak half notices any mess in an instant and it instantly has a decision on how to fix everything. From this it follows that since women cannot understand the representatives of the stronger sex with their minds, then one should not then project their own perception of the world onto them.
It is necessary to accept the fact that there is a psychological dissimilarity between men and women. It is necessary to come to terms with this postulate and not to dispute it in vain. Often, most ladies take dissimilarity for unwillingness to build a fruitful relationship. Men are predominantly straightforward. For the most part, they themselves do not know how to hint and do not understand hints.
If you set a goal, then male behavior becomes very understandable. The stronger sex calls the brown eyes - brown, and the blue dress - blue, while the weaker half believes that her eyes are golden brown, and the dress is the color of the depths of the sea. Men don't mix concrete concepts with emotions. They are economists by nature - they are used to saving time and internal reserves.
Representatives of the stronger sex do not have telepathic abilities, so you should not be offended by the chosen ones who did not give a bouquet of flowers, which the charming woman so dreamed of. Another fact from male psychology is their inability to read minds. Males are simply not trained in telepathy, as a result of which they cannot guess about female dreams and requests. Therefore, if the ladies want to achieve something from their gentlemen or ordinary colleagues, they should talk about this to the representatives of the strong half, and preferably more than ten times, so that they certainly learn. You need to demand what you want from men and not be shy. The main condition is a calm and confident tone so that the man can realize that the subject of the conversation is very important to the woman, as a result of which he will satisfy the “request” with pleasure.
How to understand a man? The psychology of men reports that male individuals simply cannot stand being commanded. The sons of Adam should not be told what and when and how they need to do something. It will be enough just to define your own point of view.
In addition, men are greatly pressured by the boundaries into which society has driven them. The male part of the population should always correspond to three myths:
The strong half never cries, because tears are the lot of weak girls;
The strong half should always remain serious;
In any case, the strong half must remain strong.
A man is, first of all, a living being, not a robot. He cannot react in accordance with the rules invented by someone who knows who. Therefore, men cry too. And there is nothing unnatural or shameful in their tears. Also, men don't have to be serious all the time. Representatives of the strong half should be accepted as real, that is, as they really are, and not be adjusted to the framework contrived by society. In addition, the excessive seriousness of a partner, work colleagues, relatives, quickly tires, as a result of which they try to avoid such people whenever possible. Also, men are simply physically unable to be always strong spiritually. They also have bad days. And at a difficult moment, they expect support, and not the phrase: "Be a man!" Do not forget that the sons of Adam are also endowed with heart and soul. They also have the right to experience and express emotions.
Any man is characterized by the presence of certain requirements for a partner. And if their "wishes" are brought together in accordance with male psychology, then we get a very monotonous set of requirements.
The psychology of men in relations with women is manifested in a certain set of ideas about the companion, about her behavioral manifestations and appearance. If a woman spends a little of her own time to deal with the uncomplicated mental organization of men, then by doing so she will acquire a golden key that unlocks the cherished door, hidden happy relationships.
First, the mental activity of male individuals is quite straightforward and absolutely concrete. Due to this feature, it is difficult for men to keep up with the high-speed flow of women's thoughts. Representatives of the strong half are more interested in the essence of things. Each phrase spoken should have a practical meaning. Water in conversations can piss men off.
Many ladies try to find hidden meaning in any male action and are systematically engaged in self-digging, which leads to confusion in relationships. It will be more effective not to analyze all male actions, but to understand the needs of the chosen one and help him implement them in life.
In principle, male and female needs are similar to each other, but there are a number of differences that lead to confrontation in relationships. For the emotional health of representatives of the strong half of the population, a sense of their own importance is vital. And in this, their professional fulfillment and financial security play an important role. Money instills confidence in men. It is important for the male sex to feel like a breadwinner. In addition, men gain self-confidence through a variety of hobbies and hobbies. Therefore, it is recommended that women do their best to encourage men's hobbies. Male interests should not be prohibited, they can only be slightly directed in the right direction. For example, from computer games to fishing. Interests help the stronger sex to restore their own mental strength or find opportunities for expressing their own emotions. You need to understand that personal interests are personal territory, entry into which is prohibited without knocking.
Men are very susceptible to flattery and are slightly vain. These are their weaknesses, but everyone has weaknesses. Therefore, women should learn to turn to their advantage. To do this, you need to occasionally emphasize his competence, ingenuity, sense of humor and intelligence. And, besides, it is recommended not to spare the words of gratitude on men.
Representatives of the stronger sex need confidence in their own ability to find ways out of any situations. This gives them a sense of the importance of their person. Significance for the stronger sex often plays a key role in achieving global goals. Therefore, it is recommended that the weaker half learn to give importance to their spouses, so that they feel like they are behind a stone wall. A man rewarded with his second half of importance will delight the chosen one again and again with new achievements and gifts!
The psychology of a man in love lies in his need for support from a partner and love. And especially they need physical love, thanks to which they feel fulfilled. Often, emotional male depression indicates a violation of any means of receiving love. Therefore, it is required to find out what ways a man needs to show love in order to pay special attention to them.
Men, although they are reputed to be the strong half of the population, they also need a sense of security and want to feel their own belonging. Due to belonging to a social group, representatives of the stronger sex feel safer and can climb the career ladder, earn respect and admiration. For psychological health to be normal, it is important for men to successfully cooperate with the environment. And the respect of society provides the male sex with proof of their worthy life.
It is important for Eve's daughters to learn to thank their own partners for their successes, achievements and admire strategic steps.
The male sex respects honesty in the weak half. They need their loved ones to answer all their interrogative statements honestly and confidently, to voice their own desires and needs truthfully, without wagging and hinting.
Sons of Adam are a fan of self-confident ladies and self-sufficient individuals. Men like a magnet are attracted by active young ladies and independent ladies who have personal interests and their own circle of friends. Men dream that their spouse would combine confidence along with tenderness, care and independence, intelligence and humor. They are fond of versatile women who can change externally and spiritually, demonstrate various facets of their own character and personality.
Representatives of the stronger sex hate manipulation in relationships. They are simply too lazy to try to guess the "signals" of their companion. They dream of a calm and simple relationship, a relationship in which the soul rests.
The male gender believes that ladies should want to develop personally and take responsibility for their own worries and emotions. The strong half admires the young ladies who know how to laugh at themselves and allow themselves mistakes.
Although there is an opinion that there are no faithful representatives of the stronger sex, men themselves demand fidelity in a relationship. They want to communicate and live with a woman, while not worrying that she has a crowd of fans with whom she flirts and makes eyes at them. Men need a sincere relationship.
Thus, the ideal companion in the harsh male life is the universal woman. However, it should not be universal for the entire male population, but for one particular man.
The stronger sex does not show its own feelings openly. The male part of the population gives preference to business. It is easier for them to fulfill all the whims of their beloved, if only they do not express their love. It is difficult for men to honestly talk about feelings.
The psychology of a man in love.
A man in love in the presence of an object of love becomes shy, even being a leader by nature. The main signal demonstrating the presence of feelings in a representative of a strong field is a long look directed towards the object of feelings. If a man feels exclusively passion for a lady, then his behavior will be different. With the surging lust, the representative of the male part of the population becomes more arrogant and assertive in dealing with the object of passion. In poses and gestures, he is dominated by slight aggressiveness. All his actions are aimed at invading the young lady's personal space. A man who is inflamed with passion constantly tries to hug a woman.
A man should feel like a conqueror, so they don't like clingy young ladies. Excessive assertiveness will only frighten and repulse them.
The psychology of men in love is such that such behavior will only cause resistance to rapprochement with such a “warrior”. Therefore, girls are advised to keep their distance, to remain a secret that they want to open. A man is a hunter, as a result of which prey "on a silver platter" interests him exclusively as a one-time meal.
The psychology of men in relations with women is characterized by a rapid cooling of the former to the latter. The stronger half is simply unable to keep their own interest in one object for a long time. Therefore, women need to learn to intrigue the chosen ones, without revealing themselves completely to them. An inaccessible girl is always attractive to the stronger sex. After all, it is not for nothing that the gentlemen of the past were capable of reckless acts for the sake of one glance of the chosen one. Thanks to chastity, the beauties of the Middle Ages forced men to commit serious deeds. It is not recommended for a woman, even after marriage, to reveal her own thoughts and innermost secrets to her spouse. Representatives of the fairer sex need to conceal a mystery in themselves, no matter what. Indeed, thanks to her, the routine of everyday life and the dullness of life will never enter married life.
The psychology of men in love goes through three phases of love. The first phase begins at a time when the relationship itself does not yet exist, and is a state of falling in love.
Male psychology at this phase provokes the representatives of the stronger sex to try to interest and surprise the chosen one. Men in a state of love are accompanied by a constant change of mood - either they seem to fly with happiness, or they are tormented by insecurity. Most attempts to make the right impression on the fair sex end in failure, which creates emotional problems and barriers. A man, until he wins the final victory, will be unsure of his own strength.
The second phase begins when the relationship becomes "official". Confidence grows by leaps and bounds. In this phase, the foundation is laid for the further behavior of men in relationships. He unconsciously assesses the boundaries of what is permitted, and establishes the territory of his own freedom and power.
The third phase is the state of a loving individual. Often this phase comes to family relationships. The experiences of men are similar to those in the first phase, but they are hidden deep in the subconscious.
Although the psychology of a man in love differs from that of a woman, it is quite easy to understand.
The male half of the population, especially the one that excites women's hearts, is, as luck would have it, bound by the knot. Therefore, women and periodically strike up relationships with "married".
Psychologists say that a representative of the stronger sex who loves his own spouse will not commit adultery. He will not risk the happiness built by years of coexistence for a moment's pleasure. A married man has a predominant desire to protect his family, to preserve his usual way of life and relationships. Contrary to popular stereotypes, most married men are conservatives. A loving man needs only one wife. The prospect of entering into a new relationship, rebuilding relationships, getting used to the "jumps" of a new girlfriend, changing the established order of life that they love does not inspire, often even frightens off.
The psychology of a married man is such that the majority of unfree representatives will hide the presence of a wife until they fall for lies or the woman sees through his lies. When a married man is pinned down, he reluctantly admits that he is bound by the knot, but will present his marriage as something insignificant. Basically, representatives of the stronger sex hide the fact of their lack of freedom solely for selfish reasons. After all, the young lady they like may not agree to spend time in the company of married men. If the representative of the strong half does not hide the fact of having a wife or accidentally let slip about his marriage, then later he will mention his wife in such a tone as if she is a distant relative or generally an inanimate creature, an annoying obstacle that interferes with having a good time.
This behavior is understandable. After all, men appreciate a calm and measured life, free from scandals. This "silence" saves him from hassle and is convenient for everyone. However, do not flatter yourself. No matter how a man speaks about his wife, she does not stop being her. A wife can be boring and unloved, but in the life of every married man she occupies a rightful essential place.
Why is a married man looking for an intimate relationship on the side? Psychologists have identified a number of the most common reasons:
Men often believe that his wife has ceased to understand him, and therefore seek understanding on the side. Often it is more important for men to understand their subtle mental organization, and not to intimacy;
The man is tired of the constant scandals and showdowns, arranged by his wife, he wants to take a break from her persistent discontent and "sour" facial expression;
A man dreams of diversity in his own intimate life;
If there is a baby in the family, then the man is simply tired of the constant lack of sleep and crying, of the spouse's inattention;
If a man entered into a marriage on a "flight" or because it is necessary, and he himself is not yet ripe for marriage, then he will be attracted by freedom and communication with young ladies. After all, there are so many beautiful ladies around, but he cannot, he is married. This "injustice" causes resentment to life and provokes a strong half into extramarital affairs.
In addition, the man is completely satisfied with the relationship on the side, from whatever side you look at them. He successfully plays the social role of husband and head of the family. And the presence of a young mistress only adds to his status in the eyes of friends. After all, this is an indirect argument proving his male and material viability.
Also, marital relations carry not only delicious borscht and a warm bed, but also certain obligations shared with the spouse. Therefore, often, having come home from work after a hard day at work, men want to relax, and not plunge into a heap of family problems that require immediate solutions. Naturally, this does not evoke a romantic mood. As a result, the strong half is not so strong. Instead of trying to find a way out of the vicious circle, because the spouse is also hard, men find an easier option - a connection on the side.
Most ladies are interested in the question: why do men return after parting? Psychology says that they have many reasons to return to their previous relationship. After all, even if a representative of the stronger sex in public and demonstrates indifference, this does not mean that he has peace in his soul. It is generally accepted that the stronger sex is thick-skinned, therefore, the gap is much easier to tolerate than the ladies. This opinion is completely untrue. Men can also have a hard time breaking up a relationship with their beloved, they just do not show their own emotions or drown them at the bottom of the glasses.
The primary and main task of men after the breakdown of a relationship is to hide their true state. They are trying by all means to prove to the environment their indifference about what happened. Therefore, they often outwardly become even more cheerful and cheerful. He manifests his sadness in striving:
Get drunk;
Visit noisy companies more often;
Have fun;
Get extreme hobby like motocross;
Seduce as many naive female “fools” as possible;
Establish a one-night-long relationship.
Why do men come back after breaking up? Psychology claims that there can be several reasons for this.
In the first turn, the strong half becomes uncomfortable to be without an ex-girlfriend, because it turns out that in his life the role of the chosen one is quite large. Secondly, truth, as you know, is born in comparison. A man usually, after parting with his girlfriend, immediately plunges into a new relationship. And it often happens that the former lady of the heart turns out to be smarter, more balanced, cheerful, honest than the current one. Thirdly, male representatives often need a certain amount of time to realize the depth of their own feelings for their former girlfriend.
Also, the reason for the return may be banal jealousy of new men in the life of a former passion. Often, the representatives of the stronger sex refer to ex-girlfriends as an object that, over time, remains their property. Therefore, when a new young man appears in a girl's life, the former chosen one is ready to conquer her again.
In addition, men can return "home" when they walk up. Of course, it's great when free, but I want the same care, warmth, affection and comfort.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"
Relationships between a man and a woman most often follow approximately the same scenario. We meet and fall in love, spend a lot of time with each other and begin to get used to the existence in the life of another person. But after the breakup, the situation can develop in different ways. In many ways, the development of events depends on who exactly was the initiator or culprit of the break. And today on the pages of "Popularly about health" we will try to figure out how men and boys behave after parting?
Psychologists claim that men are emotionally weak enough, just like women. However, they are forced to hide their feelings, since from childhood it is customary to instill in boys that they must be strong - not to nurse, not to cry or become limp. Therefore, an adult man has already learned to keep everything to himself. And after a breakup, even painful, he can behave much easier and easier than his ex-girlfriend. Let's consider the possible types of behavior in a little more detail.
Boomerang
Sometimes, even after a final, painful and unpleasant breakup, a man may try to return the relationship. Why does he need it? Perhaps such efforts are the result of a strong habit for a girl that has arisen over a long time of life together, or maybe he really feels for her something that, in his opinion, is similar to love. Sometimes a man makes attempts to return even if he himself insisted on breaking up. To give in to them or not is your own business. But the changeability and uncertainty in the decision made by oneself clearly speaks not in favor of the man.
Men are better off abandoning the idea of going into the same river twice. Indeed, over time, everything that caused the first rupture will accumulate even more and lead to an explosion. And trying to simply communicate with the once beloved girl is still that perverted form of masochism.
I don't need you
Such a model of a man's behavior after a breakup can be easily traced if, already a day or two after the breakup, the former actively demonstrates that he is not alone. The presence of a new girlfriend does not at all mean that he had this relationship before (that he was cheating on you). Sometimes a man can very quickly have an affair with what just happened to be under his arm. Thus, he is trying to prove to himself, to you and to the whole world that he is a strong and demanded man. The new romance confirms his qualities as a male.
In principle, the method of knocking out a wedge with a wedge is not new at all. But you don't have to follow it. If you want to build a successful relationship in the future, take a break to reflect on what happened. Indeed, both partners are definitely to blame for the gap, and it is important to realize and accept, and then draw certain conclusions.
Gossip rumors
Not all men know how to behave really dignified. Unfortunately, representatives of the stronger sex often turn out to be gossips and even liars. Therefore, if you and a man are forced to communicate with the same people (friends, coworkers, etc.), then soon after parting, you can be surprised to learn a lot of new and interesting things about yourself and your relationship. Dirty rumors and lies are, of course, disgusting. But try to be above that.
By releasing such gossip, a man first of all humiliates himself, loses his own face and makes himself a victim. There is no need to show him that his petty mischiefs have been effective. Try to make fun of what you hear, even if you are not at all funny.
Respect
Not all men are capable of decent behavior after parting. And if your ex turned out to be that way, then you are very lucky. It is about such couples that they say that they "parted friends", although in fact it is not about friendship, but about mutual respect. Calm communication, no sorting out of the relationship and soundness of thought indicates the inner maturity of a man.
Strangers
This is also a possible variant of a man's behavior after a breakup, when the ex-partner simply pretends that you are not familiar or unfamiliar. Perhaps this indicates that he realizes that there was practically nothing in common between you. Or maybe the ignore is extremely indicative to emphasize that he does not need you at all. In principle, this is not the worst case scenario. Trying to play strangers is certainly better than scandals or dirty gossip.
He is very sad ...
Many men feel desperate and depressed after a breakup. But they try with all their might not to show their emotional state. In this case, the ex starts to look cheerful and especially cheerful, maybe:
Drink regularly and even get drunk;
- is often in noisy companies;
- ostentatiously have fun;
- engage in extreme sports;
- find girls for the night;
- to fall in love with as many women as possible.
Psychologists do not advise men to suppress sadness with just such destructive methods for themselves. Of course, you shouldn't show your ex that the breakup completely unsettled you. Just learn to control yourself, and this will come in handy more than once in your life.
And the girls want to say that it is not easy to understand why a man behaves this way, and not otherwise. But if you broke up, you shouldn't be too interested in his behavior. Healthy indifference, albeit feigned, will help keep the nervous system intact and order.
Traditionally, it is believed that in a relationship a man is more restrained than a woman, submits his feelings to logic and it seems that there is no place for sentimentality and emotions in his life. This is probably the case in most situations. Until everything goes well. But if we are talking about parting with his beloved, then a man can behave in a completely different way.
Representatives of the fair sex often rack their brains and ask themselves the question: how to understand the true feelings of a man? Many girls think that, when parting with their beloved, the guys behave very calmly and may not experience any worries. It is a mistake to believe that men are not capable of love and that they easily tolerate quarrels and separations.
Scientists argue that for a man, the breakup is no less difficult than for a woman. The only difference is that he experiences it most often silently, unnoticed by others. From childhood, males are taught to be strong, restrained in the manifestation of feelings, "not to become limp."
It is precisely because a man needs to hide his weaknesses that he is more prone to stress. And for women, a violent experience of quarrel and separation, a manifestation of excessive emotionality, is always considered the norm. It is the social stereotype that the representatives of the strong half should always be serious, persistent and self-possessed that makes women doubt and wonder if men are going through parting?
1. Men tend to hide their experiences, under no pretext not to demonstrate them to others. Women, on the contrary, try to throw out negative emotions, speak out, cry.
2. Men are more likely than women to choose ways of avoidance, distraction and denial when coping with the stress of separation. Avoidance manifests itself as the desire not to think about the old relationship, not to remember the ex-girlfriend. Distraction is a way of replacing experiences with rest, relaxation, or immersion in an activity. And denial is associated with a man's unwillingness to admit that he feels bad without his beloved and that the relationship actually meant a lot to him. A woman uses these mechanisms of protection against stress much less often.
3. Women, to a greater extent than men, tend to reproach themselves when parting and analyze the reasons for the breakup. “What did I do wrong? What does not suit him in me? " Such questions may be asked by girls.
After parting with his beloved, a man seeks to solve a number of problems:
- hide your true state, look worthy;
- get rid of oppressive experiences as quickly as possible, stop suffering;
- do not communicate about parting;
- try to get everything back on track (if the relationship was really expensive), or start a new relationship.
After breaking up, guys can behave like this:
They are fond of alcohol, can smoke a lot (which is why the period of separation turns out to be dangerous for the development of addictions);
They tend to visit friends' companies more often and communicate with a large number of people; communication helps them to drown out the feelings of a departed love;
They begin to work more intensively: work helps to immerse oneself less in thoughts about the beloved girl, contributes to an increase in the level of their skills and thereby raises a man's self-esteem;
Are fond of extreme sports (diving, mountaineering, parachute jumping);
They try to spend more time driving, drive at high speed;
They start short-term relationships, often begin to change sexual partners in order to prove their worth; may even have affairs with several girls at the same time;
No matter how predictable the behavior of a man after parting may seem, in contrast to the listed methods of behavior, he can, on the contrary, close in himself, not leave the house for several days, not communicate with anyone, view photos, indulge in memories of his beloved and write letters to her about how bad he is and how he wants to return everything again. For him at this moment there is no greater torment than wanting to be close to her and not being able to do it.
Discomfort (especially if you have never had to part before);
Sadness, longing (in sensitive men, it can turn into depression);
Jealousy: Boys may be jealous of their ex-girlfriends towards other men.
Resentment towards your ex-girlfriend;
Regret that everything is over (and thoughts can return again and again to the happy time spent with his girlfriend).
It is especially difficult for a man to experience a breakup:
1) if he experienced strong love and trust in a woman;
2) if the reason for the breakup was the betrayal of the partner.
The pain of loss, especially if the separation was due to the betrayal of a loved one;
Feels abandoned, lonely, seeks support from relatives and friends, strives to make them want to feel sorry for themselves;
Despondency, desire to "withdraw into oneself" at least for a while;
Anxiety, fear ("Will I be able to find a worthy man in the future?").
And yet there are common features in how a man and a woman are going through the separation: both he and she miss the former relationship, try, in an explicit or hidden way, to drown out negative emotions from the current situation.
But a woman usually understands faster than a man whether she still loves her partner, whether she wants to return to him, or in a relationship it is really time to put a fat point. Find out about your compatibility with a partner in the section ""
And if the girls, first of all, try to put things in order in their thoughts, then the priority for the guys is the desire to act and choose - to be alone after parting, create a new relationship or return to a former woman.
Often a guy can start a new romance only out of a sense of revenge from his former lover. This behavior is typical for girls when breaking up with guys. Why it happens? Firstly, this is another way of self-assertion, and secondly, this is an expression of the desire to inform your former passion that "I am doing well, and I am happy (a)."
Most of the men, after they had to part with a woman, try to maintain friendly relations with her, can continue to communicate by phone, congratulate on the holidays, and provide assistance if necessary. Most often, this happens when lovers part by mutual consent. In some cases, of course, it also happens the other way around, when a man, after parting, tries to break all sorts of ties with his ex-girlfriend, completely erase her from his life. This usually happens in cases where his feelings are greatly hurt, when he is offended and depressed.
It often happens that after a while, representatives of the stronger half may begin to miss their previous relationship and feel a desire to return their beloved. Why?
Many men compare their new girlfriend with their ex and begin to understand that the current passion is inferior in beauty, sincerity, intellectual abilities and the ability to communicate to the one that he had before.
In addition, over time, men often have a reassessment of values; he can become deeper aware of his feelings for his former girlfriend. This often prompts a man to change his behavior, overcome pride and take a step forward in order to return the relationship.
Often, representatives of the male half of society, after parting with a woman, cannot come to terms with the idea that she is not their property. They still strive to be interested in her life and relationships. And as soon as a woman has a new chosen one, her former betrothed remembers her rights and may reappear on her doorstep asking (and perhaps even demanding) to return their relationship.
How successful can the relationship between a man and a woman develop after their renewal? It all depends on the maturity of their feelings and the ability to learn from past mistakes. And also how long a man and a woman were apart. Their feelings have been tested by time, they know a lot about each other, which means that the chances of preserving the recreated relationship have already seriously increased!
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There are times when I strongly dislike my job. For example, when they offer to write nightmarish material, as heavy as a kiloton of children's tears. And one could refuse, but the editor-in-chief looks with his green whirlpools right into the heart: "Max, you can handle it." Ha! Isn't it easier to tell how men endure parting ...
For some reason, girls desperately need a man to suffer, even becoming an ex. Even when they themselves are happy with another and are looking for a name for the second heir. It seems that you can forget and forgive your ex, let yourself build a nest with a new passion. No: let him suffer, insidious girls think and send a request to the Universe. She replies: at this moment I am genuinely suffering, turning my soul inside out.
I want to cheat, they say, men go through exactly the same stages that all people, experiencing a loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. But you will not be satisfied with the option "everything is like people." So, you have to write with the blood of your heart, sorry for the pathos.
We differ from girls in that we are completely devoid of intuition. For you, an unsuccessful smiley is already a prophecy of treason, but we are confident that everything is fine, to the last. Of course, we notice frequent scandals, minor moods of the young lady, but what do we have to do with women, they always have a headache ...
When the finale was announced to me, I got angry. For me, the brutal and the male, did someone dare to make a decision? Yes, I myself have long wanted to disperse, like ships at sea! So not good for her ?! So let him look for Superman ...
He said so. He softened something, exaggerated something. When she left, the whole evening and midnight seethed and raged. Then he passed out until morning, and at dawn, hell began. No, it can not be. Oh, I just let my emotions run wild. He puffs up, survives the hormonal attack, calms down - and we make up.
When the usual three days for quarrels passed, I became worried in earnest. She had to cool down. Send a funny picture or song with meaning. At least to call, they say, I forgot something, you need to meet, convey - girls often grab this pretext. And then it was as if she had died - or I died. Well, you have to conduct reconnaissance in force. I walked through her page on social networks - everything is fine, I did not send it to the black list. Yeah, so we are playing, we are filling the price? Okay, I'm not proud, I'll call you. No, the message is better first.
I write: “Hello. Like you? Is it enough? Let's put up. " And in response: “Hello. I am ok. We broke up. It's all". Oh you ... Yes, how the earth wears such. Yes, I! .. Yes, she! ..
Covered not childishly. If she sent me to the ban, ignore - it's okay, emotions, punishes for unworthy behavior. And she broke off the relationship in an adult way, you see, what a stupid phrase. No quarrels, no ultimatums, just like a threadlike pulse. This is the end, the verdict is pronounced in a tired voice and is not subject to appeal.
How it happens in the male performance, everyone probably knows. Like all her friends. Flirt publicly with any female person from 18 to 60. Will expose a stupid status a la "finally free." Get drunk at the bar. To fight in the street ... What do you think? Inside the man there were still feelings, to them were added resentment, bewilderment, a nuclear cocktail, frantic energy that requires an exit. These are girls who can sob over love TV shows and burn pieces of paper with the name of the offender - we need something more destructive. And thank God. I remember my friend Seryoga followed the female path of anger. I covered my friend with posts in the spirit of the "seven rules of the Vedic wife" with pictures of the sea and stars. I woke up on the tenth message from true friends, they say, you, or change sex, or tie up with melodramas online.
In general, at this stage we cannot be reassured. Reconciliation will not work either - do not approach the typhoon.
Anger makes the Hulk at men, it is replaced by longing - and here the "second season" begins, in the main role is now the whiner Pierrot. A paradoxical thought arises in my head - what if I was wrong too? Gave little flowers. Didn't pay attention. Fell asleep during her favorite movie or, whatever, in the midst of sex. He was rude to her friends. Made fun of vegetarianism and yoga instructor. Kicked the cat ... Yes, guy, he messed things up. There is no way to calm down on this, quietly mourn your wickedness and promise not to do this anymore. Well, maybe watch a beautiful film, some "Three meters above the sky" - and effectively, like the main character, with a meaning to watch the sunset, you can even watch the sunset for a couple of evenings ... No, we start to bargain: what if I can I get it back? Welcome to the See What You Lost attraction. We are gallant, cleanly dressed and have a fresh haircut - and "by chance" we come across our former eyes. We buy a gym membership: baby, a new loving heart is attached to the new body, take the kit right away. We parade the chronicle of transformation with profound statuses, they say, no one returns the same from the abyss of loneliness ...
I did everything as written, I added a call from myself, since there was a reason - her birthday. He said beautifully, congratulated from the bottom of his heart, finished predictably: "Let's return it as it was." Before this phrase she smiled - you can hear it! And then the smile in his voice faded: “I don’t want to. The way it was led to the separation. " And she passed out. I am a fool, a fool! Wrongly worded. I didn't offer to return the time when I kicked the cat and laughed at the trainer. I meant, we'll fix everything, go back to the source, I'll get better, we'll go the other way! ..
Then a period begins when the sun, it seems, does not rise at all, morning does not come, and so on. Depression, white light is not nice. I conjure, if you suspect that someone from close and simply familiar men is going through this stage, be merciful.
Everything passes. Despair gives way to peace. Hatred and anger subside. It turns out that the city is not empty, and the streets are full of pretty girls. Maybe one of them will work out something.
I didn't want to, but by itself went to her page. It seems to be one, she did not get married. She changed her haircut, lost weight - it suits her. In the summer I also went to rest at the sea. And I don’t want to think about who took pictures of her, so happy, to whom she smiles ...
A man slowly develops a desire - not related to revenge, with proof of his own coolness. Learn to ski. Help my father with the renovation of the country roof. Look out for new housing, change the bachelor den - a studio for a two-room apartment - at least. Someone will appear one day. There will be a family, children. Or just be calm.
One day, life will confront your ex - in a supermarket, a movie or on the street. Personally, I have not been able to avoid this melodramatic pattern. Hi Hi. Like you? Thank you, OK. And that's all. She left and I stayed. And a second later he went his own way. Without looking back, without biting my lip, without remembering something connected with the former. This is acceptance. In my opinion, the most tragic part of the story for girls is because they no longer have a place in it.
Very often, girls complain to their relatives or friends that a man has left them. But most often they do not realize the reasons for this, and in fact men very rarely leave just like that. In most cases, both are to blame for the collapse of the relationship, and the woman should clearly understand what their mistake is. But why men return after parting, psychology will help you figure it out.
Most women experience and experience the bitterness of a breakup. What are the factors pushing men to take such a step?
Knowing these main reasons that may be the reason for the departure of the chosen one, it is best to draw conclusions and prevent certain difficult life situations.
If the chosen one decided to leave, then the woman is given the task of doing everything so that the man understands his mistake. It is necessary to choose the correct line of behavior, the main thing is not to scandalize, and not to make scenes.
Before returning a man, you need to clearly understand what the person who left is thinking at this moment. Knowing approximately his thoughts and perception of the situation, it will be easier to achieve the goal. And with a correctly chosen model of behavior, each girl will be able to answer the question of why men return after parting, the psychology of which will be clear and understandable to her.
The thoughts of men after the breakup are varied. Some revisit past experiences, others try to take a break from the experience of being a couple, having fun and enjoying freedom. Someone rushes into the pool headlong into a new passion, surrendering to the novelty of feelings. But there comes a period when he begins to yearn for his old relationship, thinking to return to the past woman.
Very often, the behavior of men is unpredictable and surprising when they themselves become the initiators of the gap. Those. instead of disappearing from the life path of their former lady, on the contrary, they begin to look for meetings, call to write, constantly strive to be in front of our eyes, which unbalances the woman. Such actions are explained by his confusion. He is not used to being alone and making important decisions on his own. The first feelings of euphoria from freedom pass, and the man is left alone with his thoughts. And he begins to think about his actions and be aware of what is happening. In such situations, the problem of why men return after parting, psychology finds a solution by itself.
When a man leaves for another woman, in most cases, the man simply seeks to run away from the situation. At the same time, his way of life is changing dramatically. After all, it's one thing when a man meets a woman in secret, but everything becomes completely different when you have to live with a mistress. The passion and novelty of meetings secretly disappears, and everyday life and life problems appear, which help people to open up. It is not uncommon for a cute sexy girl to turn into a grumpy woman in everyday life. It is possible that the current chosen one, having caught a man communicating with his ex, is showing herself from a not very good side.
Why do men return after parting, psychology has identified several factors and reasons, among which are:
These are the main reasons for men to return, but there are others. Each has its own reasons for the renewal of the previous union. But it is quite difficult to restore the old trust and feelings.
If a woman decides to accept a man back, then you should think about renewing the relationship. It is necessary to analyze the reasons for the breakdown of the union, and not to repeat the old mistakes. At the same time, take into account all the wishes of a man, try to always take care of yourself and make the life of both interesting and exciting.
It is very important to create such a tandem in which it will be comfortable for both, especially in the intimate sphere.
It doesn't matter why men return after parting, whose relationship psychology has cracked. It is important that this happened. Now the main thing is to rebuild everything in a new way and enjoy life, without reproaches and insults.
