It's no secret that a person who sneezes in public feels a certain awkwardness. People around at the time would not notice this, treat the embarrassment that happened naturally and calmly, but for some reason it is customary to zealously wish the health of the sneezed. Such wishes seem especially paradoxical during periods of viral infections, when every second sneeze, moreover, more often than usual. The key to unraveling these behavioral patterns lies in the historical background.
First, in most cases the habit is rooted in the family. After all, it is at home that a child from childhood hears “Be healthy”, at a subconscious level, perceiving this by the norm of polite behavior established in society. It may not be the worst habit, but getting rid of it is quite difficult. Parents sometimes do not know that being healthy should always be, and not only during a sneeze. But what can you do, because family traditions just cannot be bypassed.
Secondly, the custom of wishing health when sneezing comes from pagan superstitions and even folk tales. People have always associated the manifestation of a sneeze with certain life events and saw some signs in this act. Even more people wondered: why does a sneeze occur? As A.P. Chekhov: "... Everybody sneezes", that is, common people and "... sometimes even secret advisers." So, since pagan times, sneezes have been firmly associated with predictions of fate or natural phenomena, signs or even natural disasters. For example, Afonya asks the witch: how many years he will live, to which she replies that she is ninety. At this moment the cat sneezes. Afonya was delighted, interpreting the cat's sneeze in support of the prediction. This is the whole essence of superstition. The fact is that a person is looking for confirmation of his subjective predictions in everything. By the way, quite often predictions come true, which proves once again: a positive attitude and belief in a miracle help in life.
Thirdly, sneezing was perceived in ancient times as a manifestation of dangerous and even fatal diseases, for example: the Athenian plague. True, in the Middle Ages people who sneezed were told: "God help you." And, nevertheless, the sneeze was a signal to others about the danger of infection. People were afraid of all kinds of pestilences, epidemics, mass disasters. From a medical point of view, the rationale for the wishes of health looks most convincing. It is clear that people do not want to get sick, so they want health. Even in modern society, illness deprives a person of the ability to work and is a serious test for the whole family, and in ancient times, the more illness meant only one thing - trouble.
It is not for nothing that people say that money cannot buy health. True, today one can argue with this statement. Of course, you cannot buy, but you can fix it only for money. Today, official medicine in a sneeze sees only physiology and biology: the effects of viruses, allergic reactions, diseases of the nervous system. Traditional healers do not exclude that sneezing helps to expel disease. Who knows, perhaps there is some truth in this statement.
It will not be difficult for a well-bred person to figure out an ill-bred one. He can easily bite a half-educated man. But it is not easy to define pseudo-manners.
There are many polite, but absolutely ill-mannered people in Russia. Their upbringing is reduced to dogmas learned from the Soviet and post-Soviet past, which have nothing to do with education or etiquette.
You are not a waiter!
For example, a pseudo-educated person always says: “Be healthy!” - even if a stranger or a participant in a business conference sneezes. Before eating, he certainly wishes everyone a bon appetit. And it would be fine only at home, in the circle of the same pseudo-educated people. No, we can often hear the words “bon appetit” in student canteens, at a party, at a banquet. Ill-mannered people often object with references to the West - they say, in Italy or France, restaurants make noise with this "bon appetit". Yes, they are noisy. But these words are pronounced in restaurants by waiters, in houses by servants. And with us - just anyone.
A pseudo-educated person, finding himself at a table in a company - even in a restaurant, even at home, knows that it is impossible to just go to the restroom, so he comes up with explanations. “Excuse me, I need to powder my nose”, “I'm going to call you” are typical euphemisms for such cases.
The truth is that etiquette condemns any kind of public commentary on physiological topics. Appetite and sneezing are physiology. It is bad to comment on it. A neighbor sneezed? Be silent. Pretend you haven’t noticed it politely. As for “bon appetit,” I personally sometimes want this phrase to ricochet into a polite person right in the forehead. To wish you bon appetite, and even in a large company, is bad form. This habit annoys me so much that 15 years later I remember all my classmates who threw this phrase right and left! In our philological canteen, every fifth student portrayed herself as being raised. Because of what, it became absolutely impossible to enjoy dinner, because there was a hubbub of “bon appetite” over our heads, and the mouth was busy with “thank you” replies.
Only neurotics greet everyone
Such people, as a rule, always greet everyone they know aloud. And it's good if they met a housemate at the other end of the metropolis - here a greeting is more or less appropriate. But to say “hello” or “hello” loudly at a university or in a company where you have worked for 10 years and absolutely know everyone is stupid. Because in both places you will come across only familiar people a priori. Etiquette is not as irrational as it seems to ill-mannered people - there is just as much sense in how and whom to greet as in the order of laying out the cutlery at the plate: everything is subordinated to human convenience.
To greet the people whom you inevitably meet every day on your way, there is a nod of the head - a descendant of the bow and heir of the Knixen.
Think of films about school and teachers. A typical depiction of teachers' everyday life: a poor woman, breaking free for a five-minute break, passes through the system of children, wailing at random: "Hello, Tamara Ivanovna!" At school, this happens because the children have not yet learned the norms of etiquette. In adulthood, a person who daily says a personal "hello" to all five dozen of his colleagues looks neurotic.
If “bon appetit” and “be healthy” are the fruit of the labor of workers and peasants who, after the extermination of the aristocracy, were forced to teach etiquette according to their fantasy ideas about this aristocracy, then from the constant greeting aloud it smacks of neurotic disorder. Worse than this "hello", daily splashed on each of the colleagues or teachers, can only be "good night", sent to the address, for example, of all the guests of the hotel in which the pseudo-well-mannered person is staying. Have you seen these? In the first half of the day they wish everyone a good morning, in the second half - good night. Also a variant of frustration and manic attraction to oneself. Saying "good morning" to everyone he meets wants not so much the reputation of a well-bred person as attention. These words betray a lack of communication.
Where do monsieur with reticules come from?
Pseudo-manners are a complex phenomenon. Here the low level of human culture, and his high self-criticism, and the complexes generated by these two monsters, which the pseudo-educated person tries to hide with dubious manners, are mixed here. Excessive politeness, leading to inconvenience of manner, intrusive words - all this is the people's idea of the life of educated people. Self-reflection distinguishes an ill-bred person from a pseudo-bred person. The latter understands the level of personal culture and tries to raise it, mistakenly relying not on textbooks of etiquette, but on his ideas about the rules of good form. Therefore, he wishes everyone a bon appetit and good morning, carries a bag behind a woman, opens the car door for the woman. And since he does not know for certain exactly how and what bag it is permissible to carry and how, in what position to open the car door, funny men with microscopic reticules and women in dirty shoes appear on the streets - they were trying to get out of the car through the awkwardly open a door for them.
Previously, pseudo-intellectuals were the bearers of such manners - a vast stratum of Soviet vocational school teachers, salesmen of central department stores and employees of Intourist hotels. These are pseudo-intellectuals who used to say "brew", "eat" and "breaks". And, of course, we wished everyone bon appetit. The pseudo-intellectuals were gone, but their funny manners remained. People follow these manners because they don't see the bearers of real etiquette. Most people need illustrative examples to master any rules. But there is nowhere to take them, except in their own environment. So the common people are copying the habits of the best, as it seems to them, their representatives.
The situation can be easily corrected by one lesson at school or a read brochure. Most people do not need to know which side the meat is served on at silver service dinners - it is enough to learn a few phrases that cannot be pronounced in society. And remember, finally, that the woman herself is able to carry a woman's handbag.
As everyone knows, a person who sneezes, if it happened in public, feels a little uncomfortable. Logically, those around them should, as it were, not notice this, so as not to cause even more inconvenience to the sneezer, but in spite of this, they energetically begin to wish him health, saying "be healthy!" it looks especially strange during massive colds, when every third sneeze vigorously, and does it much more often than usual. And the answer to this riddle can be found in the historical background.
The first prerequisite is well-established domestic traditions. After all, it is in the family, at home that we are accustomed from childhood to hear "be healthy" and to the depths of our souls are sure that this is the norm of polite behavior. This is certainly not such a terrible habit, but since it sits deep in our subconscious, it is almost impossible to get rid of it. At one time, your parents, wishing you health when you sneezed and did not think that you need it not only when you sneeze, but almost constantly. But, there is nothing to be done about it, family traditions are almost like second nature, and it is impossible to change them so easily.
Second premise. The tradition of wishing health to someone who sneezes has come to us from the days of paganism, namely from ancient superstitions, somewhere even from fairy tales. For a long time, sneezing has been associated with any sign or vital event. Since pagan times, these signs have been associated with prophecy, any events, natural phenomena, natural disasters or a prediction of someone's fate.
For example, a certain Ivan asks the witch: how long he has left to live in this world, to which he answers, 85 years. And at the same time, a cat sitting next to him suddenly sneezes. Vanya immediately rejoiced, taking the sneeze of "Barsik" for confirmation of the predicted date. This is the essence of superstition. Anyone is always trying to find some kind of confirmation of his personal assumptions. By the way, these assumptions often come true, which once again confirms that optimism and a positive attitude are very, very useful in our life.
Third premise. Even in antiquity, sneezing was considered a manifestation of dangerous and even fatal diseases, for example, the African plague. But, already in the Middle Ages, those who sneezed were wished "God help". But still, due to the superstitious fear of epidemics, mass pestilences, various cataclysms, the fact of sneezing was considered a kind of danger, for example, one could get infected.
If you look from the point of view of medicine, then it is very logical to wish the health of a sneezer, no one wants to get sick, and therefore they wish health. Even in our days with a high level of development in the field of health care for a person is a serious test, it is disability and poor health, and what can we say about ancient times, when illness often meant only death.
As folk wisdom says, you can't pay for health with money. Nevertheless, money in the modern world can seriously help improve your health. Modern medicine today explains sneezing attacks only by physiological and biological mechanisms. She blames the appearance of sneezing exclusively on viruses, allergic reactions, or an unhealthy nervous system. Representatives of alternative medicine are sure that sneezing is a natural reaction that helps a person cope with an illness, which may also be the case.
Smiling in America is a duty. Those who do not want or do not know how to smile often lose their jobs. You need to follow the rule: try not to pay attention to adversity, and do not endure bad moods and worries on people, they should not be read on your face.
A smile adorns everyone without exception. A real smile comes from the heart, and an insincere one will be immediately noticeable, turning the smile on your face into an unpleasant grimace.
As for laughter, it will adorn you only when you laugh culturally. Laughter can very easily become vulgar, unpleasant for others. Try to laugh cheerfully and naturally, but with decency.
Do not seed and do not shuffle your feet on the asphalt, do not swing your arms like a windmill. The gait is light and springy, the legs should move, not the hips and arms. Hands move in rhythm with a step, but not like soldiers
Do not pull your head into the shoulders, do not lift it high up, but keep it straight. If you want to express your positive or negative attitude towards something, say yes or no, and do not shake your head with all your might from side to side or from top to bottom.
You need to sit straight. Everything else refers to the word “no”: you cannot fidget in the chair, you cannot slouch, you cannot slide on the edge of the chair and clasp your hands on your knees, or swing in the chair.
People who sit with their legs wide apart and resting their palms on their knees look very ugly - this position is suitable only for rude and uncouth dorks.
Remember the British royal family sitting in the photographs, here's someone to learn from. On modern armchairs and sofas, where you almost lie, you can sit with your legs extended slightly forward.
Many do not know what to do with their hands in a given situation. You don't need to put them anywhere, let them lie quietly - on their knees or hang freely on the sides (but not limply, like overcooked pasta).
You do not need to constantly touch your head or clothes with your hands, fiddle with a tie or twirl the keys on your hand. You should also not look at your nails, drum your fingers on the table and nudge your neighbor with your elbow, urging him to say something stunning.
If you are talking while standing, do not put your hands on your hips when you are about to enter into a verbal skirmish with your girlfriend or boyfriend, and do not cross your arms over your chest when trying to explain some common truth in which you are convinced. Yes, and don't scream when talking. Some adolescents squeal so hard that their ears get blocked. This is not the best way to get attention.
I hope you don’t have to repeat that it’s indecent to point your finger.
And further. Some people like to publicly remove threads and hair from the clothes of their friends. This is extremely impolite. This action can only be performed in private and with the permission of this acquaintance.
Coughing, yawning, sneezing and blowing your nose should be quiet and imperceptible, holding a handkerchief to your nose or mouth or covering yourself with your hand. In this case, you need to turn away from the interlocutor to the side or bend down.
We often hear: when a person sneezes, they say to him: "Be healthy!" And this is a mistake. After all, modern etiquette recommends not to disclose an act that another person would like to leave unnoticed. So, ignore the sneezing of the person present. Himself sneezing should say: "Sorry."
When you greet acquaintances and strangers, try to look at them directly, and not look away ashamedly, as if you are to blame for something. Be friendly and friendly, and not only with your friends, but also with the girlfriends of your girlfriends and the friends of your friends. You can be more restrained with unfamiliar people, but you shouldn't scare them with a gloomy look from under your brows either. Accompany your greeting with a smooth tilt of the head, and not of the entire body - once only the peasant women bowed in deep bow before the master.
A polite person will never forget to say the word "hello" first; any request to accompany the words "please", "be kind", etc .; for any attention and service rendered to him, thank and respond in kind. If he himself accidentally bothers or causes someone inconvenience, he will surely say "I'm sorry, please."
If you can still say to your friends: "Great!" or "Hi!" You need to say: "Hello!" or, depending on the time of day: "Good morning / afternoon / evening!" Here the question immediately arises: when is the evening to be counted in the evening? Here is the schedule: Until 12 noon - Good morning! From 12 to 18 o'clock - Good afternoon! From 18 to 24 hours - Good evening! From 24 to 6 o'clock - Good night!
Your greeting shouldn't be noisy. This means that you don’t have to throw yourself on your friend’s neck in the middle of the street, and to a friend whom you noticed on the opposite side of the street, wave your hand and shout: "Hello !!!"
Now about who greets first. Of course, someone who is polite. Although it has its own rules. According to generally accepted rules, the first to greet:
A man is a woman;
Junior senior;
Subordinate of the chief.
The exceptions are the following situations: a young woman, a girl, may be the first to say hello to an elderly gentleman. Always the first to greet the person who entered the room, and the walking person is the first to greet the person who is standing. All these rules apply to the entering and walking woman.
In Russia, two forms of address are used: "you" and "you". In England there is only one form, in Sweden and Poland it is considered not polite enough to address strangers, especially to elders or superiors, for "you", for this a third person form is used, for example: "Is it possible to conduct a lady?" etc.
If we are talking about the third person, then it is not customary to use only the pronoun. For example, not “He knows”, but “Ivan Petrovich knows”, or between peers - “Vanya knows”.
From an early age, a child should be required to be polite in conversation. Not only about strangers, but also about parents and relatives, even if it is a sister or brother, you should not be allowed to say "he", "she":
“Mom asked to tell” (not “she said”). Try to call those present not faceless "he" and "she", but call them by name.
The form of address "you" speaks of a closer relationship with a person. Those who, in the heat of a quarrel, switch from "you" to "you", trying in this way to humiliate the enemy, only demonstrate their lack of restraint and bad manners.
Many people think that it is not enough to be acquaintances in order to switch to "you"; closer friendship and cordiality are needed. The basic rule here is this: a senior to a junior and a boss to a subordinate can propose to switch to "you". Between a man and a woman, this rule is conditional. It is a woman's right to allow “you” to be said. You have to be quite careful with the offer to switch to "you", because rejection can be embarrassing, especially for the one who makes the offer.
A young man can ask close elders to say "you" to him. At the same time, he himself continues to say "you" to them. And one more thing: some people, if they are higher in rank, have a habit of calling everyone lower in rank by "you", although the latter call them by "you". Such bosses are tactless.
October 13, 2016 13:50
By fabiosa
Have you ever wondered why we wish a person good health when we sneeze, but not when we cough? There are many versions of this tradition, and all of them are associated with superstitions.
copypast.ru
Jewish tradition says that when God created man, he breathed life into him. But after he decided to make Adam mortal: he sneezed and thereby exhaled it from himself. Subsequently, people sneezed only once in their lives - before they died.
Once Jacob, after his first and last sneeze, asked God not to take him, and God agreed, but made some changes: he gave people old age and illness. So people no longer died immediately after a sneeze and began to wish each other health.
In medieval Europe, sneezing was a harbinger of the plague. People were very afraid to sneeze and said: "God help." Moreover, it was not only those who were nearby that spoke, but also the sneezer himself.
In the Novgorod chronicles there are excerpts of stories in which it is written that when a child sneezes, the devil is going to kidnap him. Therefore, the parents had to say to their child: “Be healthy, guardian angel!”, Wishing health not to the baby himself, but to his guardian angel.
The ancient Romans believed that if a person sneezes, then his soul can fly out when he sneezes. They said to the sneezing person: "Let the Gods hide your soul back!"
In the countries of Asia, people believed that there was a certain judge in hell, who was writing in his book people whom he was going to take away soon, and a sneeze was a sign of the completion of this record. In this regard, people tried in every possible way to restrain sneezes so that the judge would not write them down in this terrible book.
The Scots had the opposite - sneezing was considered a sign of mental health. They waited impatiently for their child to sneeze, since stupid children supposedly did not know how to do this.
infoniac.ru
There is also a belief that the moment of sneezing foreshadowed some event. That is why, when one was telling something and the other was sneezing, they said: “Oh! Exactly! So it’s true! ”
In the modern world, the British say: "God bless you!" - Germans and Russians wish health, and Italians - happiness. In the Near and Middle East, they bow in the direction of the sneeze and clap their hands.
These are such interesting beliefs about sneezing!
