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Valeria Protasova

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A woman, meeting with a man, at the very beginning of their relationship considers them as a direct path to official marriage. But it happens that a couple's relationship lasts for months, years, and, and is in no hurry to lead his beloved down the aisle. In this case, there is no limit to the disappointment and resentment of a woman, she begins to suspect him of a lack of feelings for her, she has a lot of complexes about her own inconsistency with him.

Reasons why men don't want to get married

How, in fact, to deal with the reasons for the unwillingness of a beloved man to go to the altar, how to understand his intentions and feelings? Such subtle matter as feelings requires a subtle approach to it, therefore, without wise advice - nowhere!

• The most common reason a man doesn't want to walk the woman he loves down the aisle is his "immaturity" as a potential head of the family. Women know that a man very often remains a child at heart, which means that he notices only what he wants to notice, and often tends to idealize both relationships with a loved one and the events of his life. He sets goals for himself and tries to follow them, so he does not want to change his plans at the moment, leaving marriage for the future.
• Another common reason for a man’s unwillingness to make a marriage proposal to his beloved is fear of losing your freedom , the independence of today's life. The stories of friends, or his own assumption, tell him that after marriage, his wife will rule everything, and only she will tell him what and when to do, where and with whom to go. A man always knows that a family is, first of all, a responsibility that will fall on his shoulders. Perhaps he feels unable to provide his wife with everything necessary yet. In most cases, men are afraid that after the wedding, their beloved woman will not allow them to engage in hobbies, sports, meet friends, and lead an interesting and carefree life.
• The reason that a man is pulling everything with a wedding may be fear of seeing his wife changed for the worse . Subconsciously, this may be a manifestation of one's own sad relationship experience, or observation of other married couples. It is also quite possible that such fear in a man is a kind of excuse for himself, because he subconsciously already felt that this woman is not his dream, but he does not dare to break off relations.
• On the sad experience of parents, relatives, neighbors, friends , the man already knows that after the wedding, quarrels, disagreements, scandals always begin between the newlyweds. Sometimes such examples are so revealing and memorable that male witnesses in their own relationship begin to fear the same denouement. And, as a result, they delay the moment of marriage as much as they can.
• A man, as a rule, wants to decide everything on his own. If his beloved woman begins to demand something from him, put ultimatums, running "ahead of the engine", then he begins to jump up male pride , and he acts with precision yes, on the contrary, contrary to the expectations of his chosen one. He can even become deliberately rude, ceases to reckon with the opinion of a woman, which causes even greater accusations against him of callousness and callousness. This is a vicious circle, relations are gradually heating up, and there can be no question of any marriage proposal.
• A weak, insecure man can avoid the question of marriage only because does not feel confident and reliable for your beloved woman. Doubts constantly gnaw at him, he may doubt that she sincerely loves him, because he is sure that there is absolutely nothing to love him for. Even if a woman proves with all her behavior, with passion, that she only needs him, this man is tormented by thoughts that other men around are much better than him, and over time he will not be able to keep his woman near him.
• If influence of parents on a man great, and they did not like the chosen one of the son, then the man may not want marriage, obeying the will of the elders in the family. In such a situation, a man is “between two fires” - on the one hand, he is afraid to violate the prohibition of his parents, to upset them, on the other hand, he wants to be with his beloved woman, feels shame in front of her, which remains untenable in matters of relationships. In such a situation, a woman needs to urgently decide in order to exclude the negative development of relations.
• Sometimes lovers who meet for a long time or even live under the same roof eventually begin to get used to each other. The romance, the attractiveness of their relationship, the sharpness of feelings is leaving. A man sometimes more and more often comes to the idea that his the chosen one is not the woman of his dreams , but continues to live with her, to meet simply out of habit, out of inertia.
• A man who already has some material wealth may not propose to his beloved woman for a long time, because he is not sure of her sincere feelings for him. He can suspect her of mercenary interests to his wealth, and in this situation, the task of the chosen one herself is to prove her love to him, to convince him of the absence of greed.
• A shy man who is insecure may be afraid to propose to a woman. for fear of rejection . In the depths of his soul, he can draw pictures for himself of how he proposes a hand and a heart, but in reality he cannot find the right moment to propose.

What is a woman to dothe man I lovewho is in no hurry to propose?

First of all, a woman in such a situation you need to calm down, take control of yourself . A mistake will be constant ultimatums on her part, tears with tantrums, persuasion and deceptive "moves". You should not ask him when he is going to propose, constantly pester him with talk about weddings, trips to bridal salons. If a woman wants a man to remain courageous and independent, she should leave that decision to him , let go of this situation, enjoy the relationship and stop blackmailing the chosen one with tears.

• Darling a man should feel that he is well and comfortable with his woman. To this goal, one of the ways a woman knows is the way through his stomach. It has already been proven that what brings people together is not passion, but mutual mutual interests, hobbies, entertainment. A woman needs to take care of her chosen one, sincerely empathize and be interested in his affairs, while not pretending. Very soon, a man will feel that he simply cannot live without his beloved, and will make an offer.
• The biggest mistake women make before marriage is becoming his property , wife from the very beginning of the relationship. Even living together already, a woman should wisely keep her distance - for example, not to wash his things, not to turn into a housekeeper and a cook. A man from such a woman receives everything that he needs, and there is no reason for him to marry.
• Very often civil marriages cause a complete "collapse" of relationships , unwillingness of a man to take on his shoulders all these worries and responsibilities. When a couple begins to solve everyday “mundane” issues together, a great test comes for feelings, and very often they do not pass it. If a woman really wants to marry this man, she does not need to agree to a civil marriage with him, because only for a woman than simple cohabitation.
• Starting a relationship with a man a woman should not close herself within four walls . She can even accept signs of attention from other men - without provoking, of course, attacks of jealousy in the chosen one. You can be late for meetings, several times even reschedule a date to another time or another day. A man is a hunter, he wakes up with excitement when he sees that his “prey” is about to run away from him. A woman, on the other hand, needs to be always different, always mysterious and mysterious, so that a man would be interested in rediscovering her - and this would turn into a necessary tradition for him.
• In order to be much more interesting to the chosen one, closer to your beloved man, a woman can meet his parents, friends, colleagues . It is necessary to show female wisdom and ingenuity, find an approach to everyone and create only a favorable impression of her. You never need to speak badly about someone close to your man - this can suddenly push him away from his beloved woman.
• Should more often dream about the future, draw pictures of happy prospects for the chosen one , saying: “If we are together, then ...” Over time, the man will already think in terms of the pronoun “we”, smoothly moving on to thoughts about legitimizing the relationship.
• Female should not focus on relationships, on feelings, and even more so on marriage . She must continue her studies, achieve success in work and career growth, appear independent and strong. A man does not want his woman to turn into a housewife after the wedding, so a woman should pay all attention to herself, be self-sufficient and independent.
• Feelings mean nothing without mutual understanding. A woman should become not only a man's mistress, but also his girlfriend , interlocutor. It is necessary to be interested in the affairs, work of your loved one, give him practical advice, help, support. A man should feel that he has a very reliable rear.

In order for a woman to understand whether there is really a good reason why her chosen one postpones the moment of marriage to an indefinite future, or he simply does not want to marry her, some time must pass. If she did everything according to the above points, but her chosen one demonstrates a rare coldness towards her, and does not reciprocate her in any way, keeping a distance, maybe he just isn't her man . This is a difficult decision, but it is necessary to let go of the situation without clinging to it, and devote time to yourself, waiting for new relationships and new, already real, feelings.

Building a good, lasting relationship with a man is not easy: it requires patience, the ability to present yourself and, of course, the confidence that you are fighting for a real feeling. But if the matter is complicated by the unwillingness of a partner to marry, then even the wisest woman can lose her patience.

What to do if, after a long period of meetings and even living together, you do not receive a long-awaited invitation to the registry office? Let's talk about this and about the reasons why men do not want to get married.

What to do if a guy pulls with an offer

You are sure that you have found the perfect man and want to build a family with him, but where are the flowers, the ring and the marriage proposal? Everything looks flawless on your part, and you begin to suspect that your chosen one is not saying something. You should not sort things out directly, otherwise it will turn out that you are putting pressure on him.

Try to lead a conversation on the topic " Honey, do you agree that we are the perfect couple? But don't expect revelation right away. Of course, he will agree, but be careful: if something really prevents your partner from taking a decisive step, then after a while you will hear from him the true reason, disguised as a remark on any suitable occasion.

Find out what he doesn't like? Great, now it's your turn to decide - to correct or leave everything as it is.

A completely different situation develops with a guy who has an innate tendency to postpone important decisions and does not like any changes in life. You will not achieve anything with softness, but if you exert pressure, you risk losing your loved one.

With such men, it is better to act with cunning: think about why you should marry him at all? Find a pressure factor that will come not from you, but from " compelling circumstances».

For example, your parents will provide you with housing only if you sign. Or you found a great discounted tour of Europe - why don't you go on a trip together, but already as husband and wife? It looks a little naive, but you will be surprised how many normal guys are waiting for such an “reason” to register a relationship.

After all, why do they not want to get married, even when they cannot imagine their existence without a woman? For some, the decision made means not only responsibility for the young wife, but also for the correct choice of both halves.

Unfortunately, some of us women do a terrible thing when, in the midst of an argument, they tell their husband that he is to blame for everything, especially our unsuccessful marriage. Being responsible for someone's mistake is one of the biggest fears of a future spouse.

If deep down he is afraid of making a wrong move, do not rush to the conclusion that he is not sure of his feelings for you. Most likely, you will have to overcome the stereotype that is firmly entrenched in it, and for this, a little trick will be the best tactic.

Civil husband does not want to marry

And again the stereotype: if we sign, we will ruin everything.

Not every woman can fight with other people's attitudes, so instead of tension, do the opposite - relax and think about the following:

• you are already married, this is a fact for both of you, so he is not afraid of responsibility;
• what does marriage registration mean for you and for your common-law husband?
• if the goal be always together”, do not misunderstand him - he achieved this goal;
• purpose " family legal protection» not achieved, find reasons why registration is beneficial for him and use it in a conversation;
• motivation" ashamed in front of people"- a failed tactic;
• find out the opinion of the husband, perhaps he simply does not want the cost of the celebration.

You will not believe, but for many men the duty of communication with the wife's relatives can be a real stumbling block. While you are not officially married, your partner has the right to stay away from family holidays and various duties that parents and other family members like to burden.

As soon as you suspect that this is the reason for not wanting to register a marriage, assure your common-law husband that in the future you will make every effort to protect him from " community service in the circle of his hated relatives.

Simply say: You are so responsible to me, you will always come to the rescue and will never quit in difficult times. I promise you that no one will abuse your kindness or take your time.».

Your word should be enough, at least it already looks like an agreement between two adults. Think, wives are needed, including in order to dispel the unfounded fears of their men - work in this direction.

If a man does not want to marry categorically

A hard case - did you get a secret celibate, a guy with a psychological trauma, or just a capricious type? It sounds like a joke, but what to do with a person who, being a wonderful companion, turns into a hissing bomb, ready to explode at any moment, one has only to mention marriage?

The easy way: end the relationship for a while. If you live together, leave with things, if you meet, state your position and do not come to meetings, but answer calls. A simple check will show what your chosen one is worth: will he be able to realize that you are dearer to him than any prejudices there, or will he consider that you are just a hysterical person with whom he has no way?

The correct scenario for the development of events is the recognition of one’s wrong and the long-awaited words “ want to marry you". True, for this method you will need nerves of steel and great courage, especially if your feelings for him are strong.

It happens, unfortunately, that another type of men who are categorically opposed to marriage are liars. This is when you receive an offer and wait for further events, but nothing happens - six months, a year, a few.

It’s impossible to leave him - he’s not against marriage, he can even make plans out loud how everything will be fine after the wedding. But the matter does not go further than words. It becomes embarrassing in front of parents and girlfriends, especially if they are already delighted with your engagement.

Here you are to blame. The liar is very good at knowing when to continue his game. Remember all the times you tried to find out the date of the proposed wedding or took from him a promise to apply next week. Perhaps they even threatened to break up if he didn't fix it.

What are all your words of indignation worth? He acts in his own way - and you are satisfied? Gather your will into a fist and end the deceptions in your life. No one will return the lost time and nerves to you, and no one sincerely sympathizes with weak women who are happy to be deceived.

Irony of fate: he wanted to get married, and you refused. Now what?

This doesn't happen often, but it does happen. If you are not the first year together, perhaps in the prime of your relationship, your one and only sweetheart proposed to you. But there was no time: going to college, a new job, problems with housing, illness of a close relative ...

There are many reasons for a girl to delay marriage, at every age and in different circumstances there are some obstacles. The situation is especially dramatic in student years - here you need to get an education, and he " I don't want to study I want to get married". But girls always know how to persuade a loved one to wait. Persuaded - and we are waiting ...

The appearance of a child in the family is definitely the transition of the family to a new level. It's not like planning a vacation or choosing a car. And many women in such a situation, in order to feel more confident and calm, would like to formalize their relationship.

From the point of view of psychology, it is not so important whether the spouses have a stamp in their passport, if both partners are satisfied with their position and feel comfortable in a civil marriage. The main thing is that the family should be harmonious. For a child in a civil marriage, the main thing is loving parents, peace in the family, even during his intrauterine development. If both in a couple really do not want "officialdom", then it is better to leave everything as it is. True, before the birth of a child in a civil marriage, it is better to discuss legal issues with the husband: the name of the child, where to register it, etc.

However, if a woman suddenly understands: I want to get married, but the man does not want to get married, a difficult choice appears before the couple.

Why do women want to get married?

First of all, you need to understand why a woman wants to get married. There may be several reasons:

1. Dream of a beautiful holiday. For many girls, a wedding is proof of a man's love. Let the celebration be modest, but with a white dress, surrounded by relatives and friends. And then, it's nice to feel like a beautiful bride in the spotlight.
2. Family upbringing. Most women from childhood absorb the idea that children should be born in an official marriage. And even if they live in a civil union, in the future they still expect marriage registration, especially if the pregnancy has already happened.
3. The rights of the child in a civil marriage. Many women believe that the rights of a child in a civil marriage are infringed.
4. Status. After the wedding, many girls have inner pride from the realization of the fact: I am married! And this gives the woman "weight" in her husband's family. For example, in the event of a conflict situation with his relatives, no one will dare to tell her: “Who are you here?” If the marriage is formalized, then she will answer: “I am his wife.” And this is an argument! And phrases like “I am his civil wife” will give rise to answers: “We know such wives, one today, another tomorrow.”
5. Convenience in the social sphere. If a woman has a child in a civil marriage, she often experiences discomfort when communicating with the administration in kindergartens, schools, social security agencies and other official instances. In such cases, they constantly require some additional information and confirmation, the collection of which takes time and effort. The stamp in the passport eliminates such bureaucratic red tape.

A woman should remember or write down those arguments about official marriage that are important to her. They will be useful to her when talking with her husband.

Why don't men want to get married?

So why don't men want to get married? I must say that there are men who actively resist registering a marriage, for objective reasons. As a rule, this is due to psychological trauma.

First reason- failed marriage of parents (divorce or "life in scandals"). A child who has experienced a similar situation in childhood can decide for himself: it is better not to marry than to exist like his parents. And he delays the moment of the wedding as long as possible, driven by the thought that after that discord in his personal life will begin, i.e. he believes that this is how he “saves” his relationship!

The second reason- unsuccessful own official marriage, ending in divorce.

Third reason- self-doubt, in their ability to provide for a family (or remain interesting for their already legal wife, become a good father, fear of change).

Reason four– alas, he is not sure of his choice.

What to do if a man does not want to marry?

Here much depends on the woman herself, on her wisdom and tact. First of all, you need to know your man, find out the true motives of his unwillingness to go to the registry office. And this is not an easy task, because men often do not understand this themselves. But if there is a trusting relationship in a couple, there are chances to find the necessary information from the stories of your other half about family, friends, dreams and plans. Perhaps he will agree to go to a family psychologist in order to sort out together the reasons for the dissatisfaction of his wife and his commitment to the idea of ​​\u200b\u200ba civil marriage. The main thing here is to be patient and attentive to the partner and his feelings. You shouldn't be interrogating. When the reasons why a man clings to his “freedom” become clear, then you can imagine how to behave in order to improve the situation in the family.

It is not so rare that pregnancy occurs before the couple reaches the registry office. In this case, a woman often hopes that the expectation of a baby will push her partner to take a decisive step. But if this does not happen, and she really wants to receive a marriage proposal, then you should properly prepare for the conversation.

How to agree if you are pregnant

First you need to calm down and tune in to a calm wave. Say to yourself: “I am expecting a child from a loved one, and this in itself is happiness. I still don’t know if he will propose to me or not, but I know for sure that I want to save our relationship. I love him and he is dear to me. Therefore, I will not put pressure on him and blackmail him with pregnancy. If the future dad reacted positively to the news of the replenishment, this is already a positive factor. A good, even relationship with a partner, his support is what every expectant mother needs. And now - an approximate scheme of the conversation.

1. Choose a time and place. A man should not be tired or immersed in some worries. You can wait for an "occasion", like a TV report about someone's wedding, but it's not necessary. And do not say in advance (for example, by phone during the day) that you would like to talk about an important topic in the evening. This will make the man wait for the conversation with tension.
2. Start a conversation. The beginning is very important. Consider what you will say, but skip the lengthy preface. For example, you can start like this: “Once we talked about legitimizing our relationship. I would like to return to this topic.”
3. The foundation is your relationship. During this conversation, the most important thing is to say that you would like to see him as your life partner. Talk about feelings for him, about trust. There is no need to focus on future paternity, in this case this is a “weak” argument, because he can be a full-fledged father even in a situation of unmarried. A child living in a civil marriage receives the same paternal love as in an official one.
4. Prepare your arguments ahead of time. A man who does not want to get married will certainly ask what exactly changes the stamp in the passport. You will need to explain why formalizing your marriage is so important to you. This is where writing about why marriage is important to you comes in handy.
5. Don't rush! End the conversation on a positive note. Give your husband some time to reflect by emphasizing that although marriage is very important to you, you respect his every decision. And be prepared to wait. Best of all until the moment when he himself does not raise this topic again.

So the man with whom you live in a civil marriage will receive an impulse that will make him reconsider his views. For some couples, the possibility of joint purchase of housing becomes such a charge, for others - job prospects open only to married employees, for others, parents or friends help to make a decision. The most important thing is to choose the right “key”.

Carefully! Often, women begin to take offense, insist, make scandals on the topic “I am pregnant, I want to get married.” And thus not only do not achieve their goal, but also lose a partner.

The only path that a woman should not take, no matter how strong her desires, is manipulation, deceit and coercion. Of course, each case is individual, but if a woman wants a happy, harmonious relationship, she will need a thoughtful attitude towards a potential legal spouse. After all, even if he categorically for some reason does not want to marry officially, this does not mean that he does not love you or will be a bad dad. This is not at all the case, often in a civil marriage, a man and a woman are very responsible for their relationship, and such a union is in no way inferior to a registered one. So figure it out for a start in yourself, deciding whether you really need an official marriage? Perhaps this is just an established social tradition, which is given too much attention in our society, and you can be happy without the notorious stamps in your passport? And it is quite possible to solve legal problems in other ways (for example, by registering part of the jointly acquired property for you). The main thing is that harmony, respect, trust and, of course, love for each other reign in your couple!

When should you not get married?

• When there is a situation “either we get married, or we disperse.” In this case, perhaps the second option is better, since misunderstandings have most likely accumulated in the relationship, and you cannot erase it with a wedding.
• When there are many obvious conflicts in a relationship that need to be resolved. First resolve the conflicts, and only then you can think about the wedding.
• When less than six months have passed since the meeting and the beginning of the relationship (or better, a year). The term to get to know each other may not be enough.

What is written on

My husband and I signed a week before going on maternity leave. He was 40 and I was 31 when I met him. There was no reason to marry. But six months later I got pregnant. At first they did not want to change anything, but closer to the birth they decided that children should be born in a legal marriage. It will be very difficult to explain to a growing child why something in his family is different from others. But this is our opinion. And then, from the point of view of the law, the rights of the child and mother are protected only in the case of a legal marriage. Now in the Family Code there is no such thing as a civil marriage.

As a result, there have already been cases when an accident happened to a common-law husband (he died), and the wife could not even live in an apartment, since it was registered to her husband, although it was acquired during cohabitation. I don’t want to scare anyone, but you need to think about children right away.

My husband and I have been living in a civil marriage for 6 years now, and I don’t see anything unnatural in this. The main thing is that there is harmony between you. And the conversation about marriage began to rise only now, when he found out that he would be a daddy.

And if we go for it, then only for the sake of our baby. And so, I think, everything is the will of God, only numerous relatives tortured me with questions. At first I was also shy, and then I thought - I don’t have to explain anything to anyone, and if it’s good for us, then so be it.

Now is a time when people think that freedom is a value, and love is not very much. Therefore, many people live in a civil marriage, as it is customary to neatly call cohabitation. It seems that they are together, but it seems that everyone is free. Tired - they parted, there is no need to contact the registry office, file a divorce. As if when breaking up with a loved one, the hardest thing is to go to the registry office for a divorce certificate.

Very often, a woman enters into a civil marriage because she wants to, but does not know how to really get married (in the sense, officially, with a wedding and registration). She expects that a man, getting used to her, will want to make the relationship official. And her hopes are confirmed by the fact that sometimes some men actually do this. But this rarely happens, because the idea of ​​​​official marriage is not attractive to all men.

Or, probably, it would be correct to say that for the majority it is still attractive, but it’s better not here and now, but somewhere else and later. Why waste your youth, these golden years, on a boring marriage: pots, diapers, with your wife, a screaming baby, lack of money and a vacation with your mother-in-law in the country? When it’s much more pleasant to “just live”: no children, no problems. The woman you like - here she is, at hand, she is sweet and helpful (she still hopes for a stamp in her passport and strives to prove that she is what she needs), children are not needed, mother-in-law, even more so. Sometimes a man agrees to children if the cohabitation turned out to be successful: if only to maintain the status quo. This is all to the fact that many men, entering into a so-called civil marriage, do not want to get married at all. What for? They have a free (or very cheap) full board that includes sexual services.

Why does a man not want to marry a partner?

But why do girls agree to this? Do you really want to seem to everyone and yourself the most modern and independent? It would be better to think that the guy, having entered into a cohabitation at the age of 25, will successfully finish it in ten years, becoming a good professional and an independent person, he will want to change his life, throwing away the old trampled slippers and the old, bored mistress. And so he, young, handsome, self-sufficient, with a car bought with the money saved thanks to cohabitation, sets off to look for a princess, and his former “common-law wife” only remains to bite his elbows, cry into a pillow and ask: why does a man not want marry her, such a devoted concubine?

That's why she doesn't want her to be a partner. And at 35 it’s not the first freshness, he will find better, but ... Well, well, love has passed ...

That is, simply put, the cohabitant does not want to get married, because he already has everything that a girl could offer him only after the wedding, and a little more: the right to get up and leave when she is tired or something better has turned up.

What to do if a man does not want to marry, but insists on a "civil marriage"? It would be better to politely advise him to turn his lip back and decide what he actually wants: marriage or “freedom”. In the first case, there is an official marriage, it protects the rights of any person, including possible children, and, so be it, the girl agrees to consider the proposal. In the second - he is already free. Why change something?

There are many reasons why a man does not want to marry a concubine, but perhaps the main one is that he does not want to change anything.

It's only been a month since your friend met a guy, and now they're already going to order a wedding dress. A week later, my sister is moving to her young man, and yesterday she also heard the cherished words from him: “Sunny, when will we get married?” And only you feel like a loser, more and more often wondering why men don’t want to get married: your relationship will soon be three years old, and your beloved doesn’t start any conversations about the wedding and ignores your hints, joking: “More than I love you, love is impossible. The stamp won't change anything."

You are afraid to give your boyfriend an ultimatum, because you are so afraid of losing him, and at the same time you are worried: “Well, why is that, all your friends are already ringed, and only I am the only girl of marriageable age. Why am I worse, well, why? You do not dare to ask a girlfriend about this, because she will understand that you envy her in your soul.

Trying to find an answer, you stand at the mirror for an hour, looking for flaws in your appearance: “Here, a wrinkle has been added on the forehead, and here is a pimple on the nose. Well, who will marry such a pimpled one? And you are also confident that if you were the owner of luxurious blonde curls, like a friend, and bright blue eyes, like a sister, and men would line up to get the key to your heart.

But do not rush to find faults in your appearance, character or education. How many smart and beautiful women have the same problem as you - how to get married. Years of trying to solve it, they do not get the desired result. So maybe the problem is not in you, but in modern men?

Of course, one cannot speak for all men at once. And if your neighbor does not marry just because he is not ready to take responsibility for the family even at forty, but wants to live easily and carefree, then it is not a fact that this is the reason that stops your boyfriend. So, now you will find out ten reasons why guys do not want to get married.

1. Negative experience of parents

If a guy grew up in a complete family and watched his parents' quarrels every other day, and even worse - scandals and fights, he might get the impression that there is nothing good in family life. This is even more likely when he was brought up by one mother, who constantly repeated that “all men are goats” (of course, except for her beloved son) and that a happy family is something on the verge of fantasy. It should be recognized that among long-term married people there are very few examples of harmonious families worthy of emulation. But there are hundreds of unsuccessful marriages. Maybe your boyfriend doesn't want to be 101.

2. Your failed marriage

If you meet a man over the age of thirty, then, as a rule, he already had experience in family life. Some men get married quickly and get divorced just as easily, then again they call another beloved to the registry office. For others, their own divorce can become such an ordeal that they will give themselves the word: "No more foot in the registry office." No, this does not mean that they become monks. This type of men does not deny themselves intimate pleasures, but when it comes to talking about the ill-fated stamp, they simply run away. Enough, they already made a mistake once, and they are not going to repeat it again.

3. The habit of being a bachelor

If a man has his own living space, his chances of success with the opposite sex immediately increase several times. This is especially true for megacities, where the housing problem makes nonresident girls quickly resolve the issue of the official status of their spouse. Well, or at least move in with him, so as not to pay huge amounts for rent. So, a very large percentage of these men do not need a girl living with them, even if she does not insist on a stamp. After all, he will not be able to invite friends to drink beer and scatter socks, while not receiving lectures from his missus.

4. Desire for variety in relationships

In this matter, men are very different. True, in our time there are not so often the stories of Romeo and Juliet, when he and she are the first of each other. The polygamy of male nature makes them look for girls again and again. You can’t stop at one: “What if I find a prettier one? Maybe her borscht will taste better?” So they flutter from skirt to skirt, not concerned with the problem of the biological clock that is ticking in girls and forcing them to hurry up with the search for a betrothed. No, it’s different for men, they can be enviable suitors both at forty and at fifty, while women at that age can only nurse their grand-nephews.

5. Unwillingness to take responsibility

Modern men love to frown and express indignation when they hear the phrase: “Are you ready to provide for your family?” Yes, they know that women are now working on an equal footing with them, and some business women earn many times more than they do. And yet, they are aware that at the birth of a child, any woman wants to feel care and support. Being responsible people, modern men doubt whether they can cope with the heavy burden called "family well-being". And the prospect of not sleeping at night because of the cry of the baby does not please them, even if this screaming toddler is their own son.

6. Not strong enough feelings

If you hear that there is no love and today everyone is looking for a mate by calculation - do not believe it. Fortunately, even in our turbulent times, there are things that are not sold or bought. True love is among them. Men still dream of meeting companions who will love them regardless of the salary, the presence of their own living space or a bank account. Quite common is the situation when a man seems to be building a relationship, but at the same time, thinks about finding another companion. Does he think you're not good enough for him? Then you do not need such a "groom"!

7. Desire to create a foundation for marriage

Maybe your man has already lived with his parents in a hostel with one kitchen for twenty rooms. Now he considers it an indisputable truth that a lot needs to be achieved in order to conclude a marriage. A decent job, an apartment, a car - all this will not come in one day, unless your companion is the son of a millionaire. So it turns out that there is a good excuse: "I'll earn money for an apartment - and we'll file an application." Separate housing, of course, is great, but happy families also live in hostels. Maybe your boyfriend is just leading you by the nose, hiding behind the good intentions of the earner and breadwinner?

8. Fear of paying child support

There are also many men who are afraid that they can be used as a biological father, and then also forced to give part of the salary for the maintenance of the baby for many years. They are wary of bitches who only dream of wrapping them around their fingers. These men will drag out the painting to the last, preferring to live with their companion in a civil marriage.

9. "All pleasures without a stamp"

The powerful incentive that used to make men immediately run for the ring and propose has now been lost. I think you understand what is at stake. Now the preservation of a girl's innocence before marriage will cause more surprise than admiration. And even if a girl was brought up in strictness, she is still inferior in delicate matters, as she is afraid of a break in relations. Accordingly, nothing changes for a man after registration. Hot breakfast - as it used to be. And intimacy, as they say, in marriage becomes insipid and boring. Why deprive yourself of pleasure?

10. Changing social standards

When a man is about to get married, he looks back at his inner circle: friends, colleagues, neighbors. If all his friends are already raising little ones, then he also has an incentive to move faster and urgently look for a bride. If peers say that you can still take a walk, and parents ask you not to rush (“After all, this is such a responsibility”), then there are no incentives for a stamp. So it turns out that forty-year-old suitors say importantly: “I still have everything ahead of me. It's you women who have to fight for us - there are very few of us left!

Indeed, the situation is not very good - the guys are not eager to get married. Today, not a man is trying to win his chosen one, show all his best qualities and make an offer. On the contrary, the role of the asking party is assigned to the girl, who is forced to ask: “Well, when will we get married?” Just before asking this question, you should think: “Does he really love me?” With a negative answer or doubts, you simply do not need this stamp.