If you think about whether your friend is real, it means that the crack has already been outlined in the relationship. To understand what reasons encourage him to be friends with you, start watching what he says and does, and what feelings he causes you. Just follow this instruction - and will soon find out the truth.
Part 1
Pay attention to what your friend saysLook, do your friend support you. A real friend should help you feel necessary, confident and enjoy life. If a friend suppresses you, makes it necessary to consider himself anything, and it seems that you will not wait for a good word from him, even when you really need his support, it means that this is not your faithful friend. If you want to know if you have a good friend, think if its statements are instigated.
Look, if he listens to you. A good friend should be given time to listen to what you want to tell him. In real friendship, both must share their thoughts and receive a response. If you find that your friend constantly talks about his own problems, but begins to miss and distract, as soon as the turn comes to you, then you may have a bad friend. Here are some signs that your friend does not know how to listen to:
See how a friend interacts with you. Communication plays a key role in any respect, especially in friendship. If you are in the same wave, you should be sincere in your thoughts and feelings and maintain an open and honest dialogue. Here are some ways to understand whether you really and your friend interact with each other:
Think whether your friend is honest with you. Honesty is one of the cornerstone of true friendship. If your friend is honest and open with you, it means to worry about what. If he lies, at the same time it does not matter in the trifles or large, - about true friendship out of the question.
Look, is not too often gossipped by your friend. If your so-called friend is still that gossip, then it is likely that in your absence he gumeres and about you. Of course, everyone loves occasionally across the bones familiar, but if it seems to you that your friend is constantly gossipped and says nasty about other people, then, perhaps, your friend does the same behind your back. Here are a few signs that your friend can secretly dissolve rumors about you:
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Many of us evaluate the quality of friendship in the number of years she lasted. But it is not always correct. Having confused by friendship that lasted 20 years, the most important question that should be set is that you have invested in it and that these relationships gave you?
If the friendship breaks down, this does not mean that you or your friend have badly behaved in some situations. This means only that you are already on different life segments than before.
Below is a series of features that can be understood that your friendship comes to an end.
You have developed a certain physical reaction.
When the phone calls and the number of your friend is displayed on the screen, you begin to hurt your head, or dry out the throat, or an unpleasant feeling in your stomach arises. Thus, your body is trying to tell you what needs to be analyzed why you are still with this person in friendship.
You give promises, and then break them
In a conversation with a friend, you promise to do something, but then, after once, you understand that you cannot hold back your word, in the end, refuse and feel the guilt after that. Someone gives promises simply because it is used to do it, but if it is repeated from once only in communication with some one person, you need to think about why.
You are looking for excuses
If you lie to your friend, this is one of the indicators that your relationship needs to be reassessing. Of course, we all say untimely from time to time, but if this happens constantly, analyze why you do that.
You often go out of myself
If you are asked about relationships with a friend, and you quickly go out of myself, it is worth thinking if a person is guilty or supporting such friendship, you just do not respect yourself.
You feel that you are constantly criticized
When you feel angry or constantly to blame for communication with a certain friend, this is a bad sign. In real friendship, people feel free and protected to be themselves without worrying that they can criticize them.
Motivation in communication is the feeling of guilt
If one of the reasons why you see this friend and do something for him, this is a feeling of guilt, it is worth thinking. None of the situations that was motivated by a sense of guilt did not lead to positive consequences.
If any of the listed things you can attribute to your relationship, it means that it is time to change. It is not necessary to accumulate negative emotions, otherwise it will lead to more serious conflicts. It is better to ask yourself whether it is possible to part with a friend gradually, without creating dramas.
It is better to talk to him, say that you need to spend some time away from each other. You can assure it that nothing lasts indefinitely and that such an act need you both. It may not be easy to be honest and in front of others - this is the best way out.
If we spend a lot of time with a person, wandering around the city cafe or hanging on the phone, it does not mean that next to us is a real friend. Errors in lime friends can cost us expensive - from a particular evil in his personal life before the career crash, and encroaching on false relationships, who were considered friendly, we can experience a sea of \u200b\u200bdevastating emotions: from a light sobering shock to severe life disappointment. How to determine who in front of you is a friend or enemy?
And it is easier to determine what it seems. The main thing is not to deceive yourself and objectively look at the relationship. If the "friend" contributes to the negative, if you constantly feel in the process of communicating ourselves "beaten" morally, if you are not clear why the mood of it is spoiled in the presence, and in indirect participation, troubles and losses occur - you should think prey trusting relationship.
What are the signs of "linden" friendship?
This attitude is manifested in trifles. Watch how the person you consider friend belongs to you. Does he pushes you to negative habits, does not quarrel with loved people? Was it that thanks to the meeting with him you had trouble - drank up too much, deceived loved ones, have experienced real damage, moral or material? Does your friend often violates promises? Does he appear only when he needs something? Helped you when you had difficulties? Is supported in joy? Is it often lying to you? Honest answers to such questions will not allow you to stay.
No need to see hidden enemies in all people, communicating with which brings trouble. It is important to understand who in front of you is a conscious enemy or an unconscious detractor? Conscious enemy Hidden, just it is its hardest to withdraw "on clean water." Such for years is preparing another trap, if he wants to take revenge on something. Sometimes a secret enemy, deftly pretending to be another, enters the trust so much that it can easily destroy all your life - both personal, and social. With those who unknowingly harm you, you will feel awkwardness, bad luck and chronic fatigue.
Your friend loser or gray personality, Does he not claim anything in life? In such people, there is often an unconscious envy, jealousy or desire to reduce your "rating" to balance the complexes of inferiority. If a friend emphasizes the lack of ambitions, know: it will be with all his might try to imperceptibly reduce your self-esteem, pull down. Such friends often contribute to you become the same gray, uninteresting loser, they are so easier to communicate with you.
DANGER quiet envious. Does your friend do not tear the eye from your companion or satellite? Says out loudy compliments to your half, emphasizing your loyalty during small misunderstandings or temporary disorders? Admires the car, the house and at the same time he says that he would like the same benefits, but "not with his happiness"? You should be extremely careful in relationships with people. It is such Tihony that girls and guys will be held, "sit" at work, chosen these secrets to your ill-wishers or water gossip and discuss you behind their backs.
A true friend- Not necessarily a comfortable person. It may be indignant if it feels inequality in relationships, will require assistance with using all your capabilities and connections to become equal. He will not discuss his "halm", comparing with yours, will not tear off the family and detaining the mug of beer, if you are waiting at home. Your success will be perceived with undisguised joy and admiration, despite the joking barn comment that you do not deserve such luck. A real friend can make you a scandal if you feel the inattention and ignoring, it will tell you the truth in your face - but it will make it alone, and not in humans. Criticizing the fruits of your activity, it will surely tell me how to improve the position. He is not a saying if you have grown the trouble, even at least it is sometimes accompanied by a grill. He may have a bad character! But this person has the main quality: he will never betray you.
We get acquainted with people, we communicate, learn each other closer and, on the basis of the heard or seen, we draw conclusions - the person is pleasant or not. At the intuitive level, we are pleased to communicate with loved ones in spirit. But how to find out mutually friendly feelings?
Instruction
As the simple truth says - a friend is known in trouble. But the trouble is different. For a schoolboy a real misfortune is testto which he did not prepare. Will it help his friend in this case? He can write off, if only he stopped to poke him with a pen, and may intentionally turn away to give a lesson for his whole life, showing why frivolity leads. At the same time, it will be sincerely regretting his refusal to help. When the trouble happens, and many turn away, you need to turn to those who are near. It is those units that remained at a difficult moment to support a person not only in a word, but also to the case, deserve to be called.
A real friend will always stand up for his comrade, even if, and that the power is on the other side, and the spread is inevitable. And friends to get together in history and also together and together to go out. Doubting friend, at best, will call someone else, or is retrieved from the scene.
To test a friend for strength, you can create an artificial problem yourself. For example, to dissolve the unpleasant hearing and wait for the reaction of friends. Those people who will support the rumor about unpleasant history and will begin to whisper with other comrades on this, promoting the hearing in the mass, do not deserve to be called friends. And who swallowed an invented rumor, as if it was not, continuing to communicate peaceful with you, he admits to the best and most reliable friend. It happens that sincere friends are very difficult to meet in life, not everyone goes to check, but, nevertheless, confidence in the near will never hurt.
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Sometimes it is very difficult to determine who is friend to us, and who is an enemy. We are often mistaken for loved ones those who are able to betrayal. This happens because there are the rules of decency, which in some develop in flattery. So it seems that if a person smiles, says pleasant things - it means he is a friend. But it turns out everything is not so simple. So how to recognize the very right friend, the words and actions of which is absolutely sincere?
Instruction
Remember that a close person will never regret your time. He will gladly agree to meet, will find the "window" even in the tight chart. Will not look for excuses and the reasons are not to see, but, on the contrary, it will try to find a reason for such a pleasant event. Going shopping, lunch in a cafe, a walk - everything will take effect with a smile. And as far as it is sincere, you have to understand.
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While moving on the highway, many motorists and professional drivers often use various gestures to communicate with each other. To understand each other on the road, you will have to explore the special language of headlights and turn signals, unwritten laws of the highway and other nuances.
Instruction
If you first sit behind the wheel of the car and do not yet know how to understand each other on, first examine the language of the turn signals and headlights, which is available absolutely to all drivers "with experience". First, find out how professional drivers give a lot of signals to each other during the traffic. Noticing how the driver of the car from the next row is trying to wish for gestures and convulsively signal, keep in mind that this signal indicates any problems with your car and another driver trying to inform you about it. For example, your car can be lowered, the rear door is shut down, or the gas tank hatch is open.
To understand each other on the highway, secondly, consult professional drivers, including your driving school instructors. They will surely promptly prompt how signals are served, combined thanks to the beacons of turn signals, headlights and the inclusion of alarm. So, remember the most popular signal among drivers - when traveling towards the auto twice the headlights shortly flashes, including only far light. This sign can warn that on the highway through a hundred meters your traffic police officer with a radar is waiting. Pay higher attention to uninterrupted short signals supplied by distant headlights, as such signs are a timely warning of increased danger on the path of your following.
It can be a column, and a welded tree, and an accident, and repair work, and a large non-footing pit - obstacles, meeting with which every driver should prepare. Thirdly, the unwritten laws of Trasi provide for the warnings of other participants in the movement about their future maneuvers, and many such signs are not included in traffic rules. Therefore, when driving, always see if other drivers do "secret signs". Many of the signals relate to one of the most complex maneuvers - overtaking the next car in front of the oncoming lane.
If you still decide to go out on the car, be sure to turn on the left turn signal, as provided for in the traffic rules, but leaving it turned on to the full end of the maneuver you are thereby showing moving trail to motorists that passing after you is absolutely safe for them. But noticing ahead ahead, as soon as you have time to lines in the right row for you, immediately turn off the left turn signal and turn on the right - this action you warn moving after you drivers that such overtaking for them becomes dangerous.
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The question is whether friendship is possible between a man and a woman, no appearance arose. Often friendly participation is perceived as something big, and the wreck of hope becomes the cause of painful experiences.
Instruction
If you are not going to change the format of relationships with your friend, try not to provoke it to active steps to conquer your heart. Do not coexist with him and do not lead the ambiguous conversations that he could interpret how to encourage.
Ask him that he appreciates in, and then tell us about his ideal of a man so that your friend does not have illusions, as if you are talking about him. For loyalty, you can add: "I have not yet met such a person, and it is unknown, I will meet." If you have a close man, let it know your friend if necessary.
You will say more often "You are a true friend" or "Thanks to you, I was convinced that the friendship between a man and a woman exists," if you think it is counting on a warmer attitude. At the same time, it is not worth gently compressing his hand, looking into the eyes and privally smiling.
If the guy still decided to explain in love, say simply and firmly something like: "I am very good for you, you are a wonderful person, and many girls will be happy to meet. And I love you as a friend and how. Let's not complicate and spoil our relationship. "
If necessary, you can introduce a friend with your FRerend fight. Let your friend make sure that you are not going to part with your loved one. Otherwise, unreasonable hopes can have long to feed illusions, extending his suffering.
You can try to acquaint your friend with a good girl who, in your opinion, maybe he likes and distract from you his attention. Even if this does not happen, the guy will understand that you really treat him exclusively in a friendly, wish him happiness, but do not see the groom or lover in him.
Evaluate how decently in relation to you behaves. True comrade will not use you for their own purposes. When a person can easily give up the meeting appointed with you or calls only if he is bad, think about whether you need such a friend.
Determine how hissing your friend is honest. If a close person often deceives you, then he has something to hide. Real friends must share their innermost thoughts or at least not mislead each other. Otherwise, no sincere relationship can be speech.
It is important how your friend behaves with you. Notice whether he keeps benevolently, on an equal footing, or tries to assert their account with the help of innocent, at first glance, sharpness and placing you before others in far away.
Think how much you can rely on your friend. Reliable comrade will always try to come to the rescue, unlike just a good acquaintance. Remember the situations when you asked for this individual about any favor. If most often you have received a refusal, perhaps it is not your person.
Look at how much your friend is able to listen to you, understand and support. True comrade will try to delve into your problem. And if your friend does not ask you clarifying the question, no comments gives any comments and does not respond to your presentation of your problems, perhaps this person is too looked at his own person, or you are really not interested in it.
A real friend will try to take care of you. If you do not feel any support, perhaps the attitude of this person to you is not quite sincere. Pay attention to whether this individual respects you if your interests and disadvantages of your character takes.
Before evaluating how much your friend is devoted to, look at your behavior. Maybe the attitude of your friend is a consequence of your appeal with it. If you sometimes use it, do not miss the evil chance to swear above it, do not support him and respect, do not strive to get close to the other and find common interests, you can count only on the same attitude.
Therefore, before conducting an audit among your friends and criticize their actions, think, but do you know how you yourself are friends, and whether you are worthy of a true friend. This comrade is a kindred soul and a gift of fate. It needs to be preserved and appreciated. If you don't know how to do this, do not wait for such a handling.
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The most strong friendship is the one that began from early childhood. Since you saw this person from the small years, you know a lot about him, as he is about you.
A real and strong friendship in life should feel and feel all the soul every person. It's fine.
If this is your person, then he will support you in all endeavors, to instill confidence and encourage you. If this does not happen, then it's not interesting to your life and your problems, and, therefore, and you.
A good friend can listen to, as well as to share his own experience in the situation you need.
A real friend trusts you personal secrets, and also does not distribute your. He is not afraid to be deceived, as he trusts you, like himself.
A friend will not leave you if you hit the complex life situation. But only will try to help get out of it without consequences. Appreciate it. Try to make your friend also felt necessary.
Think if your friend has other reasons to be friends with you. If you come to the conclusion that he needs, then this is your person! Try to keep your friendship with him.
Share your achievements and rejoice at each other's successes normally. But traditional Fridays do not have to turn into a vanity fair. If you are preparing for the next meeting a short list of your accomplishments, perhaps something went wrong. In case of failure, a friend must support, not asserting for your account. Otherwise, it negatively affects your and the worldship, but do you want it?
Position "or I, or he" looks more or less adequate in medium group kindergarten. When school years have long been behind, similar ultimatums, jealousy and attempts to control look at least strange. You have the right to enter love and friendly relations on the side, and if a friend does not understand this, it is safer to stop chatting.
Perhaps you have a friend with whom you can have to have fun, arrange a raid on the bars, skip along a glass. But if each of your meeting is accompanied by alcoholic withdrawals, and in the morning you are from drunk on the eve and you are ashamed to remember yesterday evening, this is a disturbing bell.
Friends should have common interests, but alcohol cannot be the only catalyst of relations. Here we are talking about other dependencies. In addition, communication should charge you with cheerfulness, and not put on a day in bed with a headache and a wet towel on the forehead.
Friendly I. love relationship Good and productive when they are full partnership. At the same time, you approximately equal shares give and get, and we are not only about material things. If in all conversations the interlocutor almost all the time talks about what is interesting for him, and you just nod and do not have time to insert, it is normal only in one case: the name "Psychologist" and the interlocutor hangs on your door, and the customer.
Friendship, like a marriage, is designed for being together and in the mountain, and in joy. When you start pouring only a negative on each other, I embraced good news for someone else, these relationships are not entirely normal. Perhaps you are afraid to share happy moments because followed by this, depreciation, attempted competition. And this is a very transparent hint that in friendship it's time to put a point.
There is a deep abyss between discussion of common acquaintances and condemnation. If a friend loves to be married to someone bones, tell about unpleasant secrets, finding non-existent shortcomings, it is worth thinking, and is it possible to trust him. The risk is the risk that your secrets diverge in the city, and in distorted form.
You no longer include gatherings with a friend in your plans, and the idea of \u200b\u200ba random meeting is rather frightened than pleases. And this is not just an alarming bell, and the signal siren, which notifies the need to evacuate from this friendship. It is no longer connected to you, it also hints the reluctance to spend time together: you will definitely invite someone to the third-fourth, so that they make a buffer between you and filled out awkward pauses in conversation.
For example, if a person asks you to get up early to help him searcivate the battery on the car, this is normal. If it requires the same at the time when you have an important meeting at work, and then it is offended that you did not help, it is worth thinking.
You probably have not only common interests, but also differing. For example, you like Mexican cuisine, Japanese friend. But instead of alternating restaurants, once with a longing, eat sushi and rolls, and your comrade, at the same time, flatly refuses to even look at Guacamole. During the gatherings, you are listening only to Jazz, although you yourself love rock, see the masterpieces Inonyrte, although I would love to revise "very scary movies". The game in the same gate should stop, friendship works on the principles of reciprocity.
You have been talking for a long time, you know a lot about each other, together they got into funny and shameful situations, but now you cannot be uncomfortable to share with a comrade. Especially if we are talking about important. Perhaps one day he did not support you, was sarcastic or rude. In any case, even if a friend had behaved immaculately, but you don't want to share the intimate, this is a hint that your ways are starting to disperse.
There is anything in relationships, but in general, they should rather motivate and support you. If the friendship turned into overcoming and you are kept for it only because of nostalgic feelings, it's time to tie with it.
We tell what to do if a friend turned out to be suddenly "and not a friend, and not an enemy, and so," and explain when it is to officially remove each other from the heart and from Facebook.
"Always remember that there are no hugs in this world, which will eventually open," Joseph Brodsky bequeathed. Of course, we forget about it and believe that everything is good forever, and everything is bad - interference in the radio, the black band, which is about to end. It is most likely to realize that friendship, as well as all the wonderful things and phenomena that make us happy, can just take and end. As a rule, this happens not immediately - for some time we are trying to pretend that everything is still, but somewhere deep inside the understanding: Rubikon is passed. As before will not be.
And you know, it's not bad. It is hard, but not bad. In some situations, the gap with a close friend is the necessary and important step. Sometimes it really needs to leave the first, so as not to lose the main thing - yourself. In addition, even between open-time friends there are a relationship, which is based on not love and mutual respect, and envy and desire to assert themselves.
But how to understand that the relationship was outlined and is time to put the point? We tried to answer this question and made a list of eight disturbing signs that should bring you to these thoughts.
Yes, life has long turned into one solid deadline - there is no time even for lunch. Nevertheless, this does not mean that you should be the "connected", which out of the skin is climbing to keep the relationship-sprinkling on the seams. At least it is unfair. Friendship can not be one-sided and unprofitable - you need at least some response to understand: you are appreciated, you need.
Let's take the truth in the eye: the relationship in which one wants to be better than the other, it is difficult to call sincere and strong. And if every time, telling a friend about his successes, you feel emanating from him or from her negative (usually a mixture of competition, envy and low self-esteem), it means that everything is time to say goodbye (and best of all eternal). Because friends do not follow and do not play an imaginary game "You're, of course, well done, but here I ..." - they just worry about you and rejoice in every of your victory.
Just like any relationship, friendship needs a reliable foundation - in trust. In communication with friends you should be comfortable and easy. You should not be afraid to be vulnerable. Good friends will not condemn or laugh - no, they will be with you, even when you get stuck and lose all kinds of landmarks. They will support and certainly will not leave you alone with all this pile of thoughts and doubt.
If even television scandals, intrigue and investigations are already tired of all, then in real life, and even more so in friendly relations, they are definitely not a place. Life is not so long to turn it into an infinite and stupid reality show. Gossip, slopes, peres, conversations behind the back - if your friend is interested in something like that, it is better to stay away from him and not to lead a dismissal conversation with him (if, of course, do not want your revelations to become the topic for someone's discussion) .
Khm, isn't it egoistic? If your company or one friend is trying to call you remorse for the fact that you are attended by time and attention to other friends, make a favor, leave without looking back. Similar to their behavior - sign infantility, immaturity and pathological insecurity. Your friend is afraid that you will find "someone better." And you will most likely find if he does not stop and put pressure on.
Of course, each person has the right from time to time to relax and disappear on the full coil. But if after meeting with a friend or with the company of friends you constantly wake up in bad condition (Read: With a hangover, without money and with a twgging eye at one thought "about yesterday"), it is worth thinking, and whether the sheepskin is distillation. Good friends make you better - Communication with them does not leave you physically, intellectually and emotionally exhausted, on the contrary, after meeting with them you feel joy and incredible tide of energy.
