“No one dies from lack of sex. Dying for lack of love,” these words belong to Margaret Atwood. Let's discuss why we sometimes do not want intimacy.
Sex is an important part of a relationship. Full spiritual intimacy is impossible without physical. However, many women, as well as men, are faced with such a problem as a lack of sexual desire. This is abnormal for the body, but amenable to correction phenomenon. According to statistics, about 60% of married couples have sex only a few times a month. Of course, young people are more active, but they sometimes face the question: “Why don’t you want sex?” Today we will understand why men and women lose sexual desire.
The benefits of sex are enormous, but its absence seriously "hit" our body. First of all, intimacy helps to eliminate the stress that is constantly present in our lives, strengthen immunity, improve skin condition. Thanks to sex, you will feel more cheerful, more energetic, fatigue and insomnia will go away.
Women deprived of sexual pleasure, for the most part, do not get enough sleep, feel depressed and irritated. But what to do if the desire to make love suddenly disappeared? Why don't you want sex? This entails not only discord with a partner, who often frankly does not understand the reasons and begins to suspect his soulmate of treason, but also a loss of peace of mind, which is replaced by torment and obsessive questions: “Why?” and "What's wrong with me?"
The body of a woman is thinner and more delicate than that of men. It is extremely important to understand the reasons for the lack of sexual desire. There can be many of them - from psychological to physiological.
Stress. Perhaps the most common factor affecting the decrease in libido. Stress causes spasm of internal organs and entails a violation of metabolic processes. The inability to relax in no way contributes to sexual activity. Women quite often refuse love pleasures after a day of work filled with heavy emotional stress. However, in fact, this is wrong - it is sex that helps to relieve excessive tension and even remove a headache.
Resentment. Long-term reluctance to have sex with your man indicates the presence of any problems in the relationship. You may not yet be aware of them at a sufficient level, but it is worth going deep and analyzing some situations - and you will quickly get an answer. Resentment is an unpleasant feeling that has no place in your life. It does not bring satisfaction to anyone, and first of all - to you. Since a woman is more emotional, and sex for her is not only a mechanical act, but also a spiritual fusion with her beloved, resentment can easily "block" sexual desire.
Fatigue. Many women do not allow themselves to have sex with their chosen ones, if they have not made preliminary preparations - depilation, cream and other caring procedures, without which it is impossible to appear naked in front of a man. And even if he himself does not notice these manipulations and their results at all, women are sure that without this they will completely discourage their beloved. Therefore, a woman who is tired of work and family worries very often deliberately does not let her soul mate close to her. It is not a decrease in libido that is to blame, but elementary fatigue.
Fear. The fear of getting pregnant in women who have already had the painful experience of abortion, or fear of pain, which often happens after rape, kills desire. In this case, psychological correction is necessary. It is imperative that your partner understands and supports you - and in time, the missing trust will come.
Testosterone is responsible for desire, which, although it is a male hormone, is also actively produced in the female ovaries. At the same time, the level of testosterone in men is noticeably higher and decreases slightly over the years. In women, it easily falls under the influence of oral contraceptives, while not returning to normal after their cancellation. In addition, other hormonal drugs also affect libido. Also, a woman does not want sex before menstruation and after childbirth.
Representatives of the weaker sex, in whom testosterone is reduced, are characterized by lethargy, increased tearfulness, and a decrease in concentration.
What other reasons could there be? Why don't you want sex, although everything is in order in your personal life and at work? Often it's all about illness. For women it is:
Below is a list of drugs that reduce libido.
If a man does not want sex, his companion will certainly take this unwillingness personally. However, most often, a decrease in sexual appetite in men is associated with physiological processes, and more precisely, with testosterone. The decrease in this hormone is caused by the following factors:
Interesting fact! The British are going to give rapists hormonal drugs, thereby depriving them of the opportunity to continue their crimes.
In 2007, a study was conducted confirming that married men have lower testosterone levels than bachelors.
Another reason for lack of attraction is psychological pressure. Men are very painfully experiencing failed sex, and the subsequent sexual intercourse is filled with the fear of "failing" again. This is a hard blow to male ego.
In addition, in terms of sex, men control themselves far from being as good as women, so attraction to a beautiful woman whom he recently met can result, as it seems to him, into many problems. Wives and girls often use a purely feminine technique - the refusal of sex as a punishment or manipulation.
The way to solve the problem directly depends on the cause of its occurrence. Find out for yourself why you don't want sex. If elementary fatigue affects, just allow yourself to rest. During the rest, it will not be superfluous to spend time with your soulmate, arrange a romantic dinner, visit a restaurant or theater. Feel like a young couple, madly in love and not yet burdened with everyday problems.
Many women complain about everyday problems and lack of energy and time for sex. Believe me - not a single man will notice unwashed dishes if a cheerful and sexy wife is waiting for him at home. Love and take care of yourself. You are a woman, not a draft horse.
If you do not want to have sex for a physiological reason, it is advisable to visit a sexologist. He will help to understand the reasons for the lack of carnal attraction and give the necessary advice.
In addition, with the help of a gynecologist, it would not be superfluous to conduct a survey on the level of hormones - after all, they are often to blame for our sexual problems. Proper therapy will help return the love of carnal pleasures.
Today we have given an exhaustive answer to the question of why you do not want sex. Remember that intimacy is a mutual pleasure. Feel free to talk about this with your partner. Know that your significant other will be able to understand everything if you muster up the courage and start a conversation by finding the right words. Be happy and loved!
Previously, only the touch of a loved one took your breath away, but now contact with a partner does not cause any emotions? Do not rush to despair and assume that the faded feelings are to blame, because it is quite possible that such a cooling has only physiological reasons. In the article we will talk about the main reasons why you don’t want to have sex with your loved one.
If a woman is completely satisfied with a relationship with a loved one, but intimate relationships do not add up, it may be due to physiological reasons.
Maybe you have noticed that the strength of the libido tends to change depending on the period of the menstrual cycle. Often, during the period of ovulation, when the concentration of the female sex hormone estradiol is at its maximum level, there is an increase in libido, and when menstruation approaches, on the contrary, you don’t want sex, since the level of this hormone decreases significantly.
Reduced libido in women can also be due to fluctuations in hormones such as prolactin, testosterone and progesterone, as well as thyroid hormones.
If you find that you suddenly began to gain weight (with the same diet and activity), began to get tired quickly and noticed a failure of the menstrual cycle - this may be a consequence of hormonal imbalance. To eliminate this problem, do not hesitate to visit a gynecologist.
What to do? Be sure to take a blood test for the level of hormones that are synthesized in the ovaries and thyroid hormones. An ultrasound of the ovaries and thyroid may also be required. Only after the doctor receives the results of the examination, he will be able to prescribe suitable drugs.
One of the most common reasons why women do not want sex is a stressful condition, due to which depression develops.
Depression neutralizes sexual desire by reducing the synthesis of the hormone dopamine (an enhancer of sexual activity) and increasing the concentration of cortisol (a stress hormone), which lowers libido.
It is not difficult to understand that the reason for the lack of desire is precisely this, because in a state of depression a woman refuses not only intimacy, but also communication with other people, familiar entertainment and interests.
What to do? In the case of deep depression, you can not do without the help of a psychotherapist. The specialist will be able to prescribe sedativesthat will help eliminate the depressive state and restore sexual desire. You can also use other options for anti-stress therapy, such as breathing techniques, meditation, sports, etc.
There are a lot of ailments that can provoke a decrease in sexual desire. These include diseases that affect the formation of "sexual" hormones - kidney failure and diabetes, as well as cardiovascular pathologies (violate the blood supply to the genitals). Also, the reason why you don’t want sex can be infections of the genitourinary system, due to which sexual intercourse becomes painful.
What to do? You should regularly visit a gynecologist - this way you will protect yourself from unexpectedly manifested infections of the urogenital area.
Drugs that can reduce sexual desire in women include antidepressants and oral contraceptives.
What to do? If the cause of low libido is taking oral contraceptives, consult your gynecologist about this and ask for a different type of contraception. In the case of a lack of sexual desire due to taking drugs for the treatment of a certain ailment, after the end of taking the medication, the desire should return.
Problems in intimate life usually negatively affect relationships with a partner, so they should never be ignored. The doctor will help to understand the reason for the lack of sexual desire, he will determine why you do not want sex and select the means that can return the desire to make love.
The number of divorces is constantly growing in our country. Often couples break up, even after many years of marriage. Often the problem lies in the lack of romance and love that was before.. Life over time negates the passion and feelings of love between spouses. And without them, discord immediately begins in the family, quarrels and claims of partners to each other. A woman does not want a man, and a man does not want a woman.
For many couples, intimate life plays a very important role in relationships. But everyone treats marital debt differently. Some people consider it work, not realizing that this is how you can show all the love and tenderness to your partner. If there is no intimacy between people for a long time, then they begin to emotionally distance themselves from each other. As a result, mutual claims, disputes, scandals and unwillingness to listen to the opinion of the opposite side appear.
According to statistics, it is women who are the first to show coldness. And only with the rare exception of men. Ignoring the desire of her husband, the fair sex begins the gradual destruction of the couple. Then the question arises: why do men not arouse sexual desire in their women? There are quite a few factors.
How to recognize the occurrence of problems? When a woman does not want a man, the signs are different. It all starts with her having a different series of excuses when her partner offers her intimacy. Often a banal headache or just fatigue is used. If this happens rarely, then perhaps the girl really feels some kind of discomfort. But in the case when excuses are used constantly, such a situation should alert the man.
However, often the question remains unvoiced and a strong half of the population begins to seek sexual intimacy from other women. This moment is a turning point, the family collapses. To prevent a divorce, you need to immediately find out the cause of the problem and try to solve it together.
It is widely believed that women need sex differently from men. And that is why in a couple there are omissions. So why is women's sex drive lower than men's? The reason lies in the hormones. The fact is that in the male body there is testosterone, and in the female - prolactin. But unlike men, women are characterized by hormonal surges. Due to stress, the menstrual cycle or banal fatigue. And all this directly affects her behavior.
There is no reason to worry if the refusal of intimacy is due to the onset of menstrual bleeding. This problem is temporary and should not excite a man.
But there are other more significant reasons. For example, if the couple's sex life stopped after their strong quarrel. In this case, the offended woman is waiting for the man to take the first step towards reconciliation with the help of courtship and gifts.
According to surveys, problems in the sexual life of spouses appear after the birth of a child. In the body of mothers there is a hormonal change. Prolactin, which is responsible for sexual desire, is produced in too high amounts, which leads to a lack of ovulation and, as a rule, a decrease in desire for the opposite sex. This function is needed in order to prevent a new pregnancy. However, prolactin levels should be monitored. After all, its excessive presence in the body may indicate tumors and other neoplasms.
Often, problems in this organ can lead to reluctance to have intimacy. If it is impossible to associate the problem with anything else, then you should visit a doctor. After the examination, he will make a complex of treatment.
During a visit to a psychologist, many married couples talked about how they were happy with each other, spent a lot of time together, constantly experienced sexual desire. Why is everything changing dramatically? Often you have to seek help from family psychologists.
Some women not only withdraw from men sexually, but simply do not want to be around them. People, if they live together for a long time, eventually accumulate a certain baggage of grievances and claims. And in the case when the interlocutor does not want to listen and compromise, trouble begins. This is especially true for women. Soon she withdraws into herself and becomes depressed. It is impossible to get out of which alone as a couple.
It often happens that after a strong quarrel, a man quickly calms down and begins to show signs of attention to his partner. Women after such scandals for a long time come to their senses. And if a man, in the heat of a quarrel, uttered insulting words to her, he will cool off for a long time.
In order to improve the sexual life of partners, a man should know that for a woman an important criterion is the spiritual component of the relationship. We need to show her more attention, love, care. Indulge in various little things.
This information is based on scientific research on the subject. However, the problem of the removal of women from men continues to interest sexologists around the world. They find various factors, thanks to which it is possible to return intimacy to the family again. For instance:
Some experts have their own opinion about the reasons why women do not want men - because of the lack of satisfaction during sexual intercourse. Many women do not receive it and, over time, begin to consider marital debt as a kind of obligation. Often they themselves are to blame, because initially they put the satisfaction of their partner above their own.
To solve this problem, the spouses should talk, find out the desires and preferences of each other. This is the first and most important step towards solving the problem. And after the conversation, you should try to correct all the mistakes and be more attentive.
If the reason for the woman's reluctance is found, it is necessary to proceed to its elimination. It is often difficult for girls to start a conversation with their partner. Explain what they want, admit that sexual intimacy does not satisfy them. However, this is a required step. If it’s hard to say everything at once, you can do it in stages, little by little. In extreme cases, you will have to resort to the help of specialists. To return those feelings that were before is possible only with the help of trust and frankness, even in the most intimate matters.
Now it is necessary to mention why a man does not want intimacy. There are far fewer reasons for this. The main ones are:
These are some of the most popular reasons why men don't want women. It is important to remember that, in order to solve problems, you need to talk openly. A man really wants a woman only when they are completely open to each other.
Sexual intimacy is one of the most important aspects in family life.. But many couples refuse to attach much importance to it. Only regular conversations, sexual satisfaction and openness will guarantee a strong relationship. Troubles will not disappear by themselves and it is worth showing patience and dedication to solve them. Only after this, all aspects of married life will improve in a couple.
An emotional, burning, sensual woman is the dream of any man! And this is not surprising, because sex occupies a very important place in the life of men. Men perceive any problems in this area extremely painfully. And one of those problems is when the woman you love doesn't want sex.
A man, having received a refusal, as a rule, experiences not only physiological discomfort, but also psychological, he immediately has bad suspicions about the woman’s attitude towards him - she fell out of love or took a lover. Of course, this is also not excluded, but, in fact, not always a woman refuses sex because she does not love a man or is cheating on him with another. There may be other factors as well.
In this case, the man should:
For many women, intimacy with a spouse becomes an unpleasant duty that they avoid in every possible way. It is not customary to talk about this out loud, and the woman is left alone with her misfortune.
The reasons for the lack of desire for intimacy can be both physiological and psychological. For example, when a couple lives long enough together, the novelty of sensations disappears and a habit develops. Therefore, it is important that some interest appears in the couple, that is, something on the basis of which the spouses can be interesting to each other. This is especially true for women, who must be different in order to involve men in the aesthetics of love relationships. This implies not only the formation of feminine attractive images, but also how the couple spends their leisure time, how much they are involved in the circle of family and social obligations: work, home, computer, TV, etc.
It is very important to have a third topic - a common interest or passion. For example, go to wine tasting or some courses together, get involved in photography or cooking. This is necessary so that you can watch your husband not only when he looks at you, but also when you and your husband look in the same direction.
The next reason that can harm intimate relationships and lead to the fact that they will be a burden for a woman is internal conflicts and conflicts with her companion. Sexuality makes us open up to a partner, and conflicts make us defensive. Therefore, until the conflict issues are resolved, the woman somehow continues to ignore her sex life. For example, in the absence of physical assistance from the husband in everyday life, the wife punishes him by the lack of sex. In this case, you still need to get away from the conflict and in some other form ask your husband to help with the housework. Otherwise, such a situation may turn into the fact that in a week or two the husband may take a closer look at a neighbor or secretary.
If a surge of emotions has already happened, it will be useful to speak out loud your experiences. Thanks to this pronunciation, 50% of the negative energy turns into rational. If nothing helps, there is absolutely no strength, you must aloud address yourself by name: “Margarita, pull yourself together! Margo, you can handle the situation!" Such an appeal strengthens consciousness and faith in one's own strength.
If you are disappointed in your companion, remember that you were once fascinated by him. You can easily do it again. You just need to go where your spouse can perform especially well. Let him, for example, not know how to iron a shirt and make repairs in the house, but how he scores goals or sings beautifully on stage, or recites poetry in a marvelous way. You need to find something that really blows up your imagination and makes you admire your husband, see him in the light where he is especially good. Let some new emotion that has nothing to do with everyday life affect your relationship and improve it.
If you want to improve your relationship with your husband, don't listen to your friends criticize him. It is better to stop communicating with such friends altogether so as not to destroy your marriage.
Remember that sexuality is not something that happens behind closed bedroom doors. Sexuality is how you cook breakfast, how you fix your hair, how you smile, i.e. your behavior in everyday life is a manifestation of your sexual energy. To revive interest in intimate relationships, help men be better and do not give up the bodily pleasure that nature has given us.
